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Weeknd Musings From Kamalji

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Dec 16, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Weekend Musings from Kamalji


    1) All of Gaddafi's Security Guards are Virgin Women - TOI - 13/12/07

    Gaddafi arrived in France yesterday flanked by 30 blue uniformed females,all supposedly V irgins,dangling their guns from their shoulders as they protect ing him round the clock.

    All the females wear nail varnish,perfume and lipsticks and style their hair probably to spare the loss feminity suffered by their counterparts in the developed countries.But dont be deceived, all of them are trained to kill

    My comments - Somebody must have certified that they are virgins.When we say this is Hall mark Gold, we can get it verified with a agency if that is true,then i assume some agency must have verified the girls as virgins.I wonder if Virgins make better guards than non virgins.Since i am a novice in these matters, maybe the readers can enlighten me.But found this opiece of news really rib tickling.


    2) Generorisity in your Genes - Economic Times - 10/12/07

    Some people are generous because they are geniically destined to have such a personality, a new reaserch suggests.Those who had a gnene called AVPR were on an average nearly 50% more likely to give away money.

    My Comments - I guess most of you here dont have those genes.No one ever gave me the points , nor money.All just promise,Kamalji, when u comeover to our town, we ill treat you to Scotch.You may give me a few hundred worth of scotch to drink, but what about the thousands of bucks i will spend to come there to drink a few hundred worth of scotch.Shame of u guys, u should be sending me the Air ticket as well.Anyway never mind,miser friends are better than not having any friends, so its ok, i forgive u all, for u know not what ye do !


    3) Intelligent Bra for Women - ET - 10/1/07

    London - Cant go for jogging thinking that jiggling causes saggy breasts ? Well ladies stop worrying- scientists have come up with a solution, its the intelligent Bra.The scientists in australia have developed one such bra using a revolutionary fabric containing sensors to control the movement of breasts while exercising.

    My Comments - Well none actually.This is copied Ad Verbam from the papers, and not from Debonair, so kindly excuse me.Researchers have no kaam dhandha it seems eh !This kind of news jiggles my face u see.


    4) On the Horns of a Dilemma in Exile - HT - 10/1/07

    INDIAN FEMALE RHINOS SPURN FOREIGN BACHELOR

    Mohan has been yearning to mate for over 30 years now.If one has not found him to be an ideal match, because he has a horn too many.

    Mohan's shortcoming is that he is the only Two Horned Rhino African, in a state with over the word's 65% of the worlds one horned Rhino population and hence has been forced to live in celebacy.

    My comments - It seems the indian One horned Females just dont like the looks of this two horned African fellow.Poor Mohan, living as a celebate for over 30 years eh ! Reminds me of a silly poem, said by the indian rhino to Mohan

    MOHAN YOU SILLY TWO HORNED RHINO,
    ID RATHER MAKE LOVE TO A PIANO

    I did not know i am a decent poet eh !

    5) Kidnapped Buffallo incourt - TOI - 15/12/07

    Haveri (Banglore ) - This kidnap story ended in court.Nothing unusual about it..But when the victim amled in court in Banglore on Thursday under police protection and bellowed, it created headline news.

    The case relates to a bufalo kidnapped from one village and taken to another.

    My comments - What must have the judge gone thru .The victim cant speak, just bellows,andit must have been one hellof a scene in the court.And the judge can tell his grandchildren the story .And while in custody,i am sure the cops must have litteray milked the victim dry.


    A silly joke

    ( From an Old Reader's Digest issue)

    A good dress is like a Garden Gate,it guards the property , without blocking the view.

    Another cute one, maybe apt for me,God knows

    JO AKELE MEIN PEETA HAI, WOH "NARAK" LOK MEIN JATA HAI
    JO YAAR DOST KE SAATH PEETA HAI WOH " SWARAG LOG" MEIN JATA HAI
    JO PEETA HI NAHIN WOH " JASLOK" MEIN JATA HAI.

    Keep smiling guys, have a great weekend.Let me get to drinking again( Tea, not whiskey stupid its noon sunday time).Smile


    KAMAL MAHTANI​
     
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  2. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    kamalji,
    I Am Searching My Belna For Comments Like This...sunkan
     
  3. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello kamalji
    Abt ur shayri on behalf of peene walo" ke favour may ,I remember in MADHUSHALA senior Bachhan ( Dr.Harivanshrai Bachan ) never commented abt yar dosto ke sath peene ki bat - I hope He is in heven bcoz I am a big fan of his poietry.
    I am rememebering four lines -( PLZ dont take other wise I am saying sorry beforhand if u feel bad )
    Sharab bane to maykhane Bane
    Sharab bane to maykhane bane
    Husn bana to devanne bane
    Husn bana to Devanee bane
    Kuch to bat hai Jaroor aap may
    Yoe hi to nahi pagalkahne bane.!!! HaHa Ha :cheers
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sunikan,

    Have a sense of umour.All these are from the famly newspapers and not from Playboy.If u are so touchy, dont let even one news paper or magazine enter yr house.:cheers
    Smile please.Regards.kamal

    Jaishree,

    That was a great poem.imagine me a drinker ad not hving read Madhushala of which i have heard a lot.Regads.kamal
     
  5. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    dear kamalji,
    once in this forum one gentle man came up with how to please a woman and i did another write up to set things right as to how to please a man, i dont know if you have the patience to search for it, like wise i could start a wonderful write up about men in demand and the other accessories, and i know i wont get away with it as all will be toooo mind blowing that is y a belna is greater than many belnas at me...sk
     
  6. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Kamalji
    I think MADHUSHALA is a MUST read book so is the four volumes of autobiography of Harivanshrai bachhan " Kya Bhoolu kya yaad karu,DAsh dwar se sopan tak & two more I am not remembering the names correctly just now.
    And these four lines were not of Bachhan.
     
  7. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Sunkan,

    It is so cold here n jaipur today, i just cant seem totype.

    Belna's are expensive these days, thow a daimond studded one at me anyday.bonk

    When i go for walks in the morning, i entertain my walker friends with these stories, and we walk a few extra rounds without realising the time.What is life otherwise, serious and boring full of troubles.I try to lighten up things for everyone.:hatsoff

    Indus will get boring without me.HAHA.Smile.Regards.kamal
     
  8. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Jaishree,

    You seem to be very fond of shairyees eh ! im sure u dont drink and yet u remember Madhushal, and me who drinks is not reading it eh.Thanks for the great lines.Regards.kamal
     
  9. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Kamalji
    I definately dont drink But Madhushala was & is a all time favourate in my college days & has a very special place in literary world.
    This only started HALAVAD in literary world.
    Do u know that people c/o to Gandhiji abt the poetry of Bacchan that it spreads alcohalism & he rqested Gandhiji to listen to his poetry claiming it only prevents castism & propagate unity.He read a poem to Gandhiji Name I think Was "Soot ki mala" & Gandhiji liked it.
    Madhushala Has a philoshphy far beyond drinking.
    I remember one little one ------

    Jo beet gaye so bat gaye
    Jeevan may madhu ka pyala tha
    Tumako Tan man de Dala tha
    Vah toot gaya to toot gaya.
    Madiralaya ke angan ko dekho kitne pyale gir ja thai
    Jo girte hai phil kab uthate hai
    Per madiralya kab rota hai shor machata ha.
    Jo beet gaye so bat gaye
    amber ke anan ko Dekho
    Kitene tare gir jate hai
    Jo girte he voh kab uthate ha
    Per amber kab shok manata hai
    Jo beet gaye so bat gaye.

    Jeevan may vah tha ek Kusum
    Thay nitya nchaver tum
    Vah sukh gaya to sukh gaya
    Uapvan kab shor machata hai

    Jiski mamta ghat pyalo per vah kaccha peene wala hai
    jo sachhe madhu se jala hua kab rota chilta hai
    Bet gaye so bat gaye.


    To day Teji Bachhan passes away & i am remebering thses poems .

    So one more very appropriate for today

    ISs Par Priye madhu hai tum ho Us par na jane kya hoga --------------
    Its a very long & very touching poem which makes us think what is after death?
    Regards
     
  10. jaishree9

    jaishree9 Silver IL'ite

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    Hello kamalji tHe complete poem I got it----------
    इस पार उस पा
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    यह चाँद उदित होकर नभ में कुछ ताप मिटाता जीवन का,
    लहरालहरा यह शाखाएँ कुछ शोक भुला देती मन का,
    कल मुर्झानेवाली कलियाँ हँसकर कहती हैं मगन रहो,
    बुलबुल तरु की फुनगी पर से संदेश सुनाती यौवन का,
    तुम देकर मदिरा के प्याले मेरा मन बहला देती हो,
    उस पार मुझे बहलाने का उपचार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    जग में रस की नदियाँ बहती, रसना दो बूंदें पाती है,
    जीवन की झिलमिलसी झाँकी नयनों के आगे आती है,
    स्वरतालमयी वीणा बजती, मिलती है बस झंकार मुझे,
    मेरे सुमनों की गंध कहीं यह वायु उड़ा ले जाती है!
    ऐसा सुनता, उस पार, प्रिये, ये साधन भी छिन जाएँगे,
    तब मानव की चेतनता का आधार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    प्याला है पर पी पाएँगे, है ज्ञात नहीं इतना हमको,
    इस पार नियति ने भेजा है, असमर्थबना कितना हमको,
    कहने वाले, पर कहते है, हम कर्मों में स्वाधीन सदा,
    करने वालों की परवशता है ज्ञात किसे, जितनी हमको?
    कह तो सकते हैं, कहकर ही कुछ दिल हलका कर लेते हैं,
    उस पार अभागे मानव का अधिकार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    कुछ भी न किया था जब उसका, उसने पथ में काँटे बोये,
    वे भार दिए धर कंधों पर, जो रोरोकर हमने ढोए,
    महलों के सपनों के भीतर जर्जर खँडहर का सत्य भरा!
    उर में एसी हलचल भर दी, दो रात न हम सुख से सोए!
    अब तो हम अपने जीवन भर उस क्रूरकठिन को कोस चुके,
    उस पार नियति का मानव से व्यवहार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    संसृति के जीवन में, सुभगे! ऐसी भी घड़ियाँ आऐंगी,
    जब दिनकर की तमहर किरणे तम के अन्दर छिप जाएँगी,
    जब निज प्रियतम का शव रजनी तम की चादर से ढक देगी,
    तब रविशशिपोषित यह पृथिवी कितने दिन खैर मनाएगी!
    जब इस लंबेचौड़े जग का अस्तित्व न रहने पाएगा,
    तब तेरा मेरा नन्हासा संसार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    ऐसा चिर पतझड़ आएगा, कोयल न कुहुक फिर पाएगी,
    बुलबुल न अंधेरे में गागा जीवन की ज्योति जगाएगी,
    अगणित मृदुनव पल्लव के स्वर 'भरभर' न सुने जाएँगे,
    अलिअवली कलिदल पर गुंजन करने के हेतु न आएगी,
    जब इतनी रसमय ध्वनियों का अवसान, प्रिय हो जाएगा,
    तब शुष्क हमारे कंठों का उद्गार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    सुन काल प्रबल का गुरु गर्जन निर्झरिणी भूलेगी नर्तन,
    निर्झर भूलेगा निज 'टलमल', सरिता अपना 'कलकल' गायन,
    वह गायकनायक सिन्धु कहीं, चुप हो छिप जाना चाहेगा!
    मुँह खोल खड़े रह जाएँगे गंधर्व, अप्सरा, किन्नरगण!
    संगीत सजीव हुआ जिनमें, जब मौन वही हो जाएँगे,
    तब, प्राण, तुम्हारी तंत्री का, जड़ तार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    उतरे इन आखों के आगे जो हार चमेली ने पहने,
    वह छीन रहा देखो माली, सुकुमार लताओं के गहने,
    दो दिन में खींची जाएगी ऊषा की साड़ी सिन्दूरी
    पट इन्द्रधनुष का सतरंगा पाएगा कितने दिन रहने!
    जब मूर्तिमती सत्ताओं की शोभाशुषमा लुट जाएगी,
    तब कवि के कल्पित स्वप्नों का श्रृंगार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!

    दृग देख जहाँ तक पाते हैं, तम का सागर लहराता है,
    फिर भी उस पार खड़ा कोई हम सब को खींच बुलाता है!
    मैं आज चला तुम आओगी, कल, परसों, सब संगीसाथी,
    दुनिया रोतीधोती रहती, जिसको जाना है, जाता है।
    मेरा तो होता मन डगडग मग, तट पर ही के हलकोरों से!
    जब मैं एकाकी पहुँचूँगा, मँझधार न जाने क्या होगा!
    इस पार, प्रिये मधु है तुम हो, उस पार न जाने क्या होगा!
    Hope u liked it.
     

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