Wedding Gifts

Dear Kamalji,

Really enjoyed your post (as always!). I am coming here after such a long time and the first thing that caught my attention was this post of yours!

I am of the same opinion as yours that gifting causes a never ending give and take cycle that is hard to get out from.


Gifting is indeed a tricky thing, at least for me. First of all, I am not very creative in thinking about what would be a good gift for someone. Secondly, I am lazy to think about it and go shopping for it (even if it is online shopping!). Thirdly, I do think that the people that invite me for any occasion where a gift is warranted, have the capacity to buy whatever they need. So, in the material sense, my gift does not really add to their already existing possessions.

My disinterest in gifting reached new heights (undesirable though!) this year. When on his birthday, my husband expressed his interest in getting himself a sports coat, I told him that he really does not need one as he has quite a few. He was totally bummed! I felt really bad that such a thing came out of my mouth

Well, I think that if at all anyone that I know needs a gift, they need the gift of more time for themselves, more time with the people they care about, more time with the friends they enjoy meeting, they need genuine friends, they need people around them that are honest to them, they need people that they can count on in sad and happy times. If I can be even one of above to a person, then I think I have given them a great gift! Of course, they may not think so!


My Dad refuses to take anything from us kids or anyone else, for that matter. Not because he is uncomfortable taking, but because he does not need anything is what he says. He has been wearing the same shirts for 20 years now and we all are bored seeing them but he is not. We generally buy decent quality clothes so no color fading, no tearing, no nothing! So the clothes really last a lifetime now!! Plus, he says getting gift is more of a headache for him because he has to find a use for them, a place to keep them. If he does not use what people (the close ones) give him then they get upset that he is being too uptight. So, he simply makes everyone upset the first time by refusing to take anything. Now no one bothers him with gifting . He loves good company and good food and is never shy to take that as a gift!

Oh well, I think that my reply may be longer than your original post, Kamalji! It was a great post and extremely enjoyable and honest. So, loved it!!

SS

 

Dear kamalji , i like the way you pick on current problems always , something like current affairs .
I sometimes feel our big fat indian weddings have become great indian tamashas - both from the hosts and guests sides .
When the guests walk over to the podium and proudly present their gifts meant to show their wealth , there are some who cannot keep up and are forced to cheat like handing over empty boxes or envelopes.
A very shameful incident happened in my cousin's marriage. My uncle is a very well known and helpful person . So they received a lot of cash and gold and silver articles as wedding gifts . Some near relatives were put in charge of them . But we don't know how but majority of the envelopes and boxes were found to be open and gift items removed. They incurred a loss of lakhs of rupees and again the same problem about how much to give as the return gifts when the time comes .

 

Good morning Kamalji,

I had read this article in TOI and was eagerly waiting for your thoughts on it. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post as well as all the FBs.

My perception about receiving gifts is changing with age.

Before I got married, we cousins used to vie with each other to receive the gifts at the family wedding. Becoz, we could stand next to the bride and the groom and get our photos clicked. Why deck up, if u cannot be noticed. hahahaha!!!



Another advantage is that, from that vantage point on the podium u can see everyone and comment on their dresses. When a person is decked up in all finery, even their mannerism changes.

Now coming to actual part about receiving or giving gifts, I feel it is a good gesture. As long as we don't judge the person by the value of the gifts, then it is a enjoyable experience.

Now that I am always over looked for standing on the podium part, I can roam around the whole place and see everyone at close quarters.

Return gifts have always been in vogue in India. becoz, any time somebody comes to our house esp. ladies, it is a tradition to give them kumkum and a blouse piece or fruits.

From the time I have started working, it has always been that we have pooled in our resources to buy a gift for any official wedding. And we usually just give the cash.

Hence the question of returning the same amount does not arise in our office.
Family wedding, well the less said the better. Becoz u r always judged by ur gifts nothing can satisfy some people in the family.


As usual all ur jokes were rocking Sir.