Wearing Mangalsutra inside dress

OP your parents are cool people.

 

Just my experiences:

In our custom we have one small gold cup and thread tied by the brides mother and 2 more tied by bridegroom during wedding rituals.
Even after repeated pleadings the gold cups my inlaws had got in the name of being "supposedly tiny" were as huge as big beady eye balls!!
FIL was particular that the 2 tied by DH have to be put in a thick gold chain, and one tied by my mom, be put along with a black beaded SEPARATE chain!
But as SIL (mmmuah love her for this) had put all 3 together in a single gold chain, I insisted to go her way and avoid too many things hanging around my neck (against clinical ethics as well)
My MIL had made it a point to convey it to my mom that she is very particular that I do not remove the mangalya at any point for whatever reason.

Hence, I had just one request that, the string with mangalyam and other customary beads be given hooks on either side, so that I can use the whole set as a pendant, and just replace the gold chain with silver or black bead or any other stone chain hooked to this pendant and visible around my neck to go with any dress that I wear. It was a cool idea!!!
I thought this way I am coming half way and agreeing to keep the main elements on forever...and just replace the chains....
NOPE...why would they agree!!

1. What boggles me is, as a gold string may be too weak to hold the cups and beads...the cups and beads are hence all put in a string made of either silver or panchloh.
This string too breaks once in 6-8 months as it gets oxidized due to continuous body heat!
Removing the chain is considered "in-auspicious" according to MIL, but if this string cuts and beads and cups fall out yearly, its no big deal!! "happens" it-seams!!!
One should be lucky if it cuts and beads get collected with-in the bra!

It once cut and fell in the bathroom!! Thankfully i noticed and secured them all before they went down the drain!!! and had to rush to to the goldsmith at 9 in the night to get a new panchloh string!!

2. If I need to wear a silver chain, I just pulled the gold chain towards my shoulder on either side and tuck and pin to the bra strap of the blouse or kurta so that it is not visible around my neck and dosnt look odd with silver chains.
But she used to insist that the gold chain BE VISIBLE and it dosnt matter if I wear silver along with gold!!! It will look good only it-seams!!

3. It is inauspicious for married people to wear cloths on the head at my home!
Even during winters if I covered head and face with a woolen stole while stepping out, FIL used to grumble and ask me to wear a small scarf tied in front of my my neck like a pregnant lady! (red riding hood type)!!

Now that I am away from them, I live comfortably and do just as DH requests and he is selectively cool anyway!
I just wear an artificial black beaded chain visible outside when travelling alone...Just feel more secure that way!

 

so if mangalsutra is so beneficial to the a woman's body and mind, why is it restricted to only married women. all should wear it. why just women even men should wear it.

 

Thank you very much, SGBV! That's exactly what I thought when I read this. And, unfortunately educated women following this stuff without thinking logically. Why on earth a divorcee or a widow would be jealous? A divorcee, divorced her husband because she was not happy and stood up for herself, there is nothing wrong in it.

I divorced my ex and am happily married. I attended my friends weddings while I was divorced and never had any negative feeling for them and they never felt bad of having a "divorcee" around to cast an evil eye.
I found the statement very offensive!

 

Hello, ladies. sorry if that statement offended you. But, I don't think I said anything wrong here.

I myself have gone through a terrible divorce and happily married now for the 2nd time. If someone said such a statement to me when I was divorced, or even now, I don't find that offensive at all. Why should I? They are not talking about me. Same way, I am not talking about all divorcees.

The reason my grandmom asked me to keep mangalsutra in is to ward off evil eye. And evil eye can come from anyone. In the same post, I also talked about married women being jealous as well. That's almost the majority of female population.

What I meant was, there are exceptions to every rule. And I was only referring to those exceptions. Please don't tell me that all divorcees, married women, unmarried women, widows are totally pure in their thoughts and never envy anyone else.

We live in a society where, even if a neighbour buys a new car, you can see a lot of envy. So, in a society where women tend to get defined by marriage (and we all know that's a horrible thing) it's only natural for women who are divorced to feel alienation and hence envious / jealous. It's almost a feeling of 'why me'.

I was separated from my husband at 21 and remarried at 27. I know what stigma is. I know how people behave and what kind of emotions it can induce. I lived my life happily and never bothered. I was never jealous of women who were married. But from a married person's point of view - there are two things - 1. Don't want to display my thaali and make the divorcee / widow / unmarried person feel bad - which is very sensible and sensitive thing and the 2. Warding off unwanted evil eye.

I see absolutely nothing wrong in being safe than sorry. These things matter if you believe in that sort of thing - negative vibes etc. If not, keep your mangalsutra outside - free world - democracy - no one's policing you - you can absolutely do as you please! It is indeed your life.

There is no reason for you to make sweeping judgements on my belief system and comment on my education level. It has nothing to do with any of these things. Live and let live. I never went and told any divorcee or widow - don't walk in front of me or anything. Having been in the same situation before - I am pretty inclusive.

 

Hi garima
I am also a north Indian married to south Indian and like you This idea of hiding your thali inside your clothes was strange. I have thick gold chain heavy mangalsutra which felt very uncomfortable. My mil's logic was that if I wear it as visible from outside it will lead to someone casting evil , so I told that to protect evil eye I won't wear it only. No magalsutra ,no evil eye .
I liked that small black beads one but now I don't wear anything daily. May be on some special occasion I wear it.
I think chain snatching is lesser in south India.in north India specially Delhi ,if I wear my south Indian thali ,I am sure someone might even cut my throat!
So if you like wearing mangalsutra get a fancy bead one with delicate design and flaunt it.