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Wearing Mangalsutra inside dress

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by garimagoyal, Oct 26, 2014.

  1. garimagoyal

    garimagoyal Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am a North Indian married into a South Indian (Andhra) family. My MIL insists on me wearing the Mangalsutra inside the dress, hiding it from view. It feels odd and uncomfortable to me :-(. North Indians generally wear it on the outside.

    Can anybody please explain the reasoning behind wearing the Mangalsutra hidden from view ?

    Thanks in advance !!!
     
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  2. azalea

    azalea Silver IL'ite

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    Garimagoyal,

    i don't know what you mother-in-law's reason is... But chain snatching is a real threat in South India.
     
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  3. sripree

    sripree Gold IL'ite

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    I don't know how true this is, but, the reason I was given is this:

    People will look at your mangalsutra and cast an evil eye on your happily married life. It's like showing off your sumangali status. You never know who is seeing your mangalsutra and getting jealous. Widows, Divorcees, unmarried girls, moms of girls who are not married - we come across lots of people on day to day basis. Why give them negative thoughts about your marriage?

    So, when I left my mangalsutra on top of dress inside house, I was still asked by my grandmom to put it inside. She said, her own mangalsutra or my mom's mangalsutra could get jealous - even without knowing. So best to keep it inside. She also said, two women with mangalsutras out should never see each other. I don't know what the logic behind this is. But I follow to keep her happy.

    From someone who grew up in S India, I can understand your MIL. It's very very wierd to see a married woman putting her mangalsutra outside for everyone to see. I don't know why, but we are just conditioned like that. It may be very embarrassing for your MIL in front of her other family members for sure. Even outside, on streets, it's v awkward for a married woman to put her mangalsutra outside.


    There's also another custom - especially in Telugu families. If two women in the same house are pregnant at the same time - they cannot see each other until one of them has given birth. So, if SIL and DIL are pregnant at same time, they can't see each other. Or even if 2 DILs pregnant at same time, they can't see each other! I think it's to avoid comparison. But, I could be wrong.
     
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  4. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

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    You can ask your MIL the reason casually amidst other talks sounding curious and wanting to adept to andhra style customs. This way your query will be resolved.. also your MIL will be happy you r taking interest in understanding her side of customs and traditions:wink:
     
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  5. padmaja909

    padmaja909 Platinum IL'ite

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    i think you can put your black beads mangalsutra outside the dress. its only the other one which is tied by groom during marriage (with two round lockets) should not be kept outside dress.
     
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  6. umasivasankar

    umasivasankar IL Hall of Fame

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    i dont knw whether it is right or wrong but it is believed to regularise a women's blood circulation.this is also said to control the body pressure levels to a maximum extent,as indian women tend to work hard,more than her male counterpart.the most important thing to note about this mangalsuthra is, that it should always be hidden or covered in the inner garments.just because of the constant friction of the metal touching the body portion directly,the effect will be more to gain the said benefits.however,if the same is worn outside the clothes and making it visible to everyone,then the effect is reduced.that's y it is always advisable to wear the malgalsuthra inside and not to showoff.
     
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  7. resmij

    resmij Silver IL'ite

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    hi,

    keep it inside or out, if it is made of gold( usually it is), take care, becoz these days very common - chain snatching!!

    may be MIL intension is same.

    never heard of a custom to hide it.

    check with mil directly.

    regards
    resmij
     
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  8. nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    As sripree rightly pointed out. Such beliefs are d reason to put mangalsutra behind d dress
     
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  9. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    Not to argue with you, but I see the above statement or the belief was highly biased and offensive to certain groups of people such as divorcees or widows. Why on earth someone feel J about your married status unless you have taken their life?

    Even that, they can still be feeling J without seeing your mangalsutra? Because it is visible from your other accesaries such as Bindi, dressing and stuff that you are married anyway.

    Isn't it something like degrading all the divorcees and widows as evils, who could caste evil eye on someone's happiness? Isn't the same reason that such divorcees and widows were not allowed to participate in certain functions.

    If so, and if we all abide that customs, then where on earth we shout for women liberation and thus walk out from an abusive marriage? How come we even lecture a women in need (in a not-so-good marriage) to walk out so that she can have a better life?

    Isn't it something like advising someone to jump from the frying pan to the fire? What use????
     
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  10. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    wearing mangalsutra for every one to see will cast evil eye from unmarried, widows, divorcees because the ultimate reason we are born in this world is to get married. this is the meaning of our life.

    moot point. but i think everyone should be able to were a mangalsutra the way they want. peace !
     
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