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Was I Rude?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Rihana, May 14, 2022.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    KT didn"t bring up the topic. I didn't either. Could I have myself resumed the topic with "so I was saying..." yes but somehow didn"t feel like.

    The couple was older looking but quite capable of standing or going to car and waiting.
    I guess. But she started it.
     
  2. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Your friend should have initiated the topic/talking again after the older couple left, if she knew that you both were meeting to discuss a sensitive topic.
    No one can talk/ discuss a personal thing or even eat properly in front of strangers. She should not call you rude and infact apologise for telling the older couple to sit at your table.
     
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  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Rihana,
    You haven’t mentioned if KT and you are close friends. How good a friend is KT? Given that you both took the time to go to lunch and you were discussing scary stuff with her, I would assume you are close.

    With close friends, wouldn’t such things be overlooked?

    Her niceness to strangers at the cost of y’all’s privacy is a character flaw too.
    I wouldn’t be bringing up your perceived anti-social behavior afterwards, if I were KT. There maybe something beyond this incident thats festering beneath the surface. I think you shouldn’t make it your trouble at all. You weren’t rude. Whatever is making this come up again and again is her problem, not yours.

    Good friends are so hard to come by. I hope she is able to work past this non issue and hold onto your friendship.

    Don’t we all have friends whose quirks we talk about endearingly? I hope both of you can pull each other’s leg citing this incident and have a good laugh about it soon!
     
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  4. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    KT reminds me of one of our local friends. When she has personal issues, she talks about her feelings for hours and expects everyone to listen and empathize. If anyone else needs to vent about anything, she changes the subject. This happens with everyone, every time. We are all still friends but have zero expectations from her. Our group has always somehow accepted this trait in her and we all say "Oh that's just how she is."

    I enjoy her company and we hang out. But I don't consider her a true friend. When I want to talk personal stuff, I reach out to someone else.
    .
     
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  5. Srama

    Srama IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Rihana,

    I have no opinion on your question but I did have a question - the language between you and your friend was same as the couple who sat down? Anyways, I wanted to share that I have a friend like your KT who will not only invite but also continue talking about her personal stuff. It simply is her style and she wouldn't think about it twice and also she will not judge me for not responding or for being on phone or anything i could be doing! I love her for her obliviousness! and sometimes long for that couldn't care less attitude.
     
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  6. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Same here with a friend in my complex. Her primary schooler son had a sudden medical problem. Doctors told her to wait for a week and ,if pain subsides no need for surgery. I would see this woman every day inside our complex during that week talking to people. I alone had spent 2 to 3 hours in total talking to her that week. Same with many others. She was just diverting her mind from her son and the surgery by not being inside her house and talking to all people she met. Luckily, after a week pain subsided and surgery was not required. After hearing this news, though I have seen her once or twice, she never talked much. Also there were 2 occasions where she could have invited me also for company (function of common friend), she conveniently ignored me or forgotten me.
     
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  7. Minion

    Minion Platinum IL'ite

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    Public place should be viewed as space for all, your private space should be viewed as your own space, so your friend was right in offering the space to the older couple, as friends you have lot of things to discuss and you could have carried on with the conversation with general things rather then looking at your phone.
     
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  8. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    binary answer - yes' you were rude
    you should have talked something common during the time the couple was around ..cmpletely shying away from your friend was rude to me
     
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  9. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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  10. hridhaya

    hridhaya Gold IL'ite

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    If you put yourself in the shoes of the senior couple, would you have expected someone to offer you a seat if you were waiting?

    If your answer is no, then you are good. Your thoughts and actions match.
     
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