1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Want to stay separate because of MIL dominance

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by prakritikaul, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. prakritikaul

    prakritikaul New IL'ite

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    hi Dew

    thanx a lot for giving such a good advice...bt truly speaking i have tried a lot to get adjusted with my MIL. She waits for an opportunity to dominate me for no reason... see i will tell u where i am facing problem....or wat is my problem..might b u will guide me correctly and i won't commit any blunder...
    -------------------------------------------------------------
    to start with....mine is a love cum forcibly arranged marriage. I thought that i have to adjust n my hubby also told me that u have to adjust with my mom...i am a kashmiri bt not stayed in kashmir....my MIL is very conservative...i don't really know abt the old rituals....i am like a normal girl...she tries to compare me with her as she has also been wrking...she is not friendly to any of the relatives at my in laws side...she is always taking out mistakes in everyone...all are bad n she is perfect...she is very verbal...and verbally she dominates me.. whatever i say she takes out a -ve meaning and then she won't talk to me thereby creating tensions as i am not used to such behaviour....i keep on thinking that wat happened that she is not talking to me....where i have went wrong....she will never cm 2 me and discuss that see DIL i haven't liked this or anything....so that the problem ends there... she waits till it becomes the worse....
    she didn't let me keep a maid....now after a lots of efforts done, she has allowed me to keep a maid for cleaning. i know she does all the cooking bt even she is not able to....she is not ready to adjust wid a maid even...after office hours i reach home and get along with her...assist her...bt she is never happy. i try to help her on sat & sun bt all in vain. i am not able to give time to my son also...coz of her. her kids must have also suffered...very sure abt it...but i don't want this to happen to my kid. she expects me to do the same...
    she hasn't stayed with her inlaws...she seperated out after 2 or 3 yrs of marriage...bt stayed in the same vicinity so that her kids will be taken care of.. i know a lot many facts about her of her time bt never tried to even make her feel abt it...
    she has already said a lots for my parents...during my 1st year after marriage i have just cried :cry: on all my functions and occassions. she has even told me that my dad has given me less money and bla bla bla.....a lot many things....
    i have a baby also...everyones pregnancy time and delivery time is memorable one and i don't want to remember that time....

    now i need ur advice.........
     
  2. Sindhuja

    Sindhuja Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,104
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Prakirti,
    Welcome to IL.
    Some MIL's behave like this because of insecurity. Prove your MIL that you are a good DIL to her. Even then some MIL's might find fault. It takes time to understand. Once people become old, they behave like a kid. So you have to be little patient. By being so, you, your husband and also your son will have good time. But it does not mean that you have to give up everything for your MIL. Make her understand your problem. Tell your husband what's happening when he is in good mood. All the best.

    P.S: Don't make hasty decisions. MIL problem is temporary.
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. MeenLoch

    MeenLoch Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    569
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    50
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes u were right, they are like kids, who you have to adopt and adapt to.
    Our patience shall be tested and in turn will be increased 5 folds maybe.

    I can rememebr, I used to sit in the sofa like a couch potato and order my mommy to get thigns. Indian marriage will eradicate some amount of irresponsibilty in you.
    If not anything else, it ll make ur backs stronger !
     

Share This Page