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Want To Restore My Friend's Marriage

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Shruti26, Nov 7, 2016.

  1. Shruti26

    Shruti26 Junior IL'ite

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    I really need your comments and ideas, dear ladies.. my very best friend is going through marital conflicts. She and her husband have been living separately since one year. Legal proceedings like mediation did not work out and now hearings will start. Before hearing starts, I want to put an effort to bring them together, on her request. She only loves him. But her husband, though he is a good person, is in full control of her parents and sisters. They are not negotiable also. I want to approach her husband by messaging him as we are friends on social network. I messaged him earlier but no reply as expected. How can I bring him into my confidence.....what should I write in message..
     
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  2. Telja

    Telja Silver IL'ite

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    Is He knows about you .. If you are stranger then normally he wont listen to you.In this cases outsiders expecially distant friends have limited roles.Try to make your friend to have negotiation. She will listen to you.
     
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  3. Shruti26

    Shruti26 Junior IL'ite

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    Yes.. He knows about me that I am her a very good friend. We talked also after their marriage.
     
  4. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Stay out of it. He has indicated quite clearly he doesn't want to interact with you. During any couple's separation, there are many people trying to pull them back together. to him you're just one of them. There's nothing you can say or do to help them get together. However your words could be misconstrued and twisted to suit his needs.

    It is for your friend and her husband to sort it out, especially now that everything is taking a legal turn. be there for your friend but don't get involved anymore than that.
     
  5. monkatpeace87

    monkatpeace87 Silver IL'ite

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    Agree with guesshoo. U should stay of it. Though u want to help ur friend , u meddling into her affairs may spell more trouble for her.
    U can help ur friend by giving her emotional support during the legal proceeding.
     
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  6. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    I think he will not be interested in hearing from you especially if you are close to your friend. As the legal mediation failed it's bit unlikely that he'll listen to you.
     
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  7. dnormx01

    dnormx01 Gold IL'ite

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    First of all, he won't listen to you and secondly you are risking your friendship with her. Tomorrow if things don't work out, you will be blamed.

    If you still want to try, do you know any of his good friends well? Someone you have acquainted during their wedding etc? Or any of their common friends who you are known to? Talk to them and request them to put in a word.

    Your friend will be annoyed with you for not speaking up for her, but please be there for her and help her to come out of the unfortunate situation.
     
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  8. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Shruti,

    Though your intention is good it is always better not to involve into someone's marital matters unless they ask you to help them out. He made it very clear that he does not appreciate your interference into his marital problems.
    I am not saying he or she is bad or you do not know him/her completely.
    The relationship of wife and husband is confined only to those 2 individuals and any one (be it parents or friends or relatives) becomes a third person.

    There are chances that you are not aware of his side of the story and he fully reserves the right not to discuss his side of the story with you.
    For the good of your friendship, I would suggest its better you stay away from their marital affairs. Instead offer some mental solace for your friend.
     
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  9. Laxmikrsnan

    Laxmikrsnan Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Shruti

    Unfortunately, might have to agree with other posts. There is no room for a third person between couples. Be it his family or her friends.

    The initiative, the work should be hers and hers alone. With all due respects, if he deserves her love, dignity and respect, he shall respond. If not, it is definitely a question for your friend to analyse if he is worthy of her unconditional love.

    You can always be a shoulder for her... Nothing more and of course Nothing less
     
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  10. Elsa

    Elsa Gold IL'ite

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    I dont think it is a good idea to talk to your friends husband to save their marriage. I would say, do not even offer any kind of advice unless they ask you for it. Listen to what they tell you, and be there for your friend in case any help. Thats all you can do.
     
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