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Want To Go Abroad..how To Convey & Convince?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Reesha, Dec 29, 2020.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    I am working in IT firm. I gone through lot of hurdles until now to balance work and family. i don't feel my family life is great with husband who thinks like girl is common maid to all of his family. Even though some points he helped me to balance kids, i knew its not because of love on me ,its because of love on my income which gave luxury life to him.

    Even my parents are not supportable for career oriented nature in girl. they assume it is work of boy. doing job & going to foreign & earning big amount so on...are privileges of boy.

    caring of kids, maintaining each one needs in family all time is girls job. Career of girl is optional. but it is need in view of husband just for money comfort. this is how my life juggling with every family members emotions. Every member of my family is playing with me all time with out considering my emotion and my dreams towards my career goals all time.

    This time i want to put down my foot strongly, because all of my friends were settled in abroad and they are enjoying their freedom of life. but i am struggling always with caring of some one, satisfying all family members needs with out going to single vacation. Due to pandemic, situation got worse now. No weekend trips..at least. all time earning, caring of kids, elders of both side(my parents & my inlaws). so its kind of managing hostel which is non profitable some time. (i knew i am very rude use this word.) i got frustrated and really want freedom of these things. i fed up with indian culture who thinks that family lady should be like this only so on...i need break. so want to leave abroad by taking some job there.

    But dont know how to fight with all members of my family now to make it work ?

    @SGBV
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:OP TAGGED the post to @SGBV & let us await her FB.

    • Friends who are settled abroad not necessarily enjoying absolute freedom. Only “slogging” which they seem to enjoy in a different style and set up. The “struggle” for freedom aka enjoyment is permanent in all geographies. There can be no freedom from work but when it is appreciated, it is as good as “an Oscar”.
    Thanks & Regards.
    HAPPY NEW YEAR.
     
  3. Venkat20

    Venkat20 Gold IL'ite

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    There is a proverb in Tamil. Believe Mr. Tha.
    @Thyagarajan can write perfectly in English. Will help you very much in this regards.
    "இக் கரைக்கு அக்கறை பச்சை"

    Good Luck Sister.
    Be happy with what you have in your hand. I will pray for your happiness.
     
  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    @Thyagarajan & @Venkat20
    Stop it ... you two.
    Everyone can dream of faraway places, where George Clooney lookalikes would chat you up at dusk each day.
    Let us wait for proper guidance and answers.
    I see that UK is getting out of the EU, with a point based immigration system, and BoJo is coming to talk to NaMo about more visas for Indians to come to England. Chief guest at the Republic Day 2021.

    I am dreaming of a future when enough Indians would go to England, the Irish&Scots would have left the union, and England would join the empire as the 30th State of the Republic of India. We'd be one happy family again. Old Brits will come to Rajastan to retire, and people like the OP would migrate to England to experience freedom. Wales and Gibralter of the UK, you ask ? Nobody can understand the welsh, and the people on the rock can jolly well join Spain.

    Once all that happens, we will go abroad like in those old times. No passport needed. All in one big empire. Our Queen will have houses in Delhi, as well as Sandringham. Our prime-minister will no longer be blonde, but bald. Brits will look for jobs in the subcontinent, not just in cricket league, but in other jobs also:

     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
    Archanaanchan and Thyagarajan like this.
  5. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    @Thyagarajan @Venkat20 @Hopikrishnan Are you people trying to answer me or else doing fun with each other on concept of "Leaving to abroad"? Any how my visit of abroad is for fun & earn. not for settlement. So don't worry.
     
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  6. Venkat20

    Venkat20 Gold IL'ite

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    @Reesha sorry,
    As you think is not so easy to leave all of them and become NRI for some time. 15 years before I also thought as like you and I got succeed, now after 15 years I can't leave because of commitments. NRI life is not so easy. Too much painful and stressful life. Over the view it is simple but actual life it is not. This is my openion
     
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  7. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    Worry ?
    Earning is the best in Dubai or Abu Dhabi. Many India-expats there also. And (I see on this forum that) they are quite a helpful lot.
    However, fun is in countries where they got Egalité. Liberté and Fraternité are also there, but Egalité is the basis for fun. Learn French. Or.. some other non-Indian language, like Chinese or English. The whole world could be your oyster. I am not sure what the world would be for a vegetarian. Surely not a shell fish.
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:I for one as senior citizen, feel quietened. That is perfectly ok.

    At my age I remain and had to remain aplomb lest the agitation & cogitation might affect BP.

    WITH second of wave covid-19 and its other four variations seemed to have arrived yesterday and today too at Indian airports, I for one would shudder to think stirring out of my home for the present.
    God bless you with best insights from fellow IL'ITES.
     
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  9. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

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    Seniors have the duty to come in and offer the benefit of their experiences. Going from Haryana to Mysore, and living among the Kannadigas for a life time is like going abroad, although there is no passport or visa involved in the deal. The children would be born there, and adapt to Udupi cuisine, and turn their nose at dry roti and dal. A rejection of the culture of her ancestors. Same thing would happen when people emigrate to Canada or UK. Children would grow up pale, because of the constant overcast skies, and no sunlight for most of the year, whereas their cousins in India would be spending money on skin whitening creams. Six of one, and half a dozen of the other... as they say!!

    This corona virus is a clever thing. It is not even a life form like a bacteria. However, it evolves, and goes abroad without papers or learning a language (trying to stay on topic for the thread here) or having advance bookings for places to stay.

    Are you suggesting to the OP that she ought to stay put, be safe, and then plan to go abroad when the corona is beaten down? That would be a good strategy, especially because so many people would become shut-in's, or dead, and all countries would be wanting to hire people who wish to go and be abroad. While the virus is preparing the world for abroad-goers there has to be some preparation for the eventual emigration while at home with internet access. What would you suggest?
    • Practice conjugation of chinese/german/spanish verbs?
    • Join online class to get certified on something ?
    • Prepare for and then write TOEFL and GRE exams ?
    • Apply to colleges abroad ?
     
  10. drdiva

    drdiva Bronze IL'ite

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    I can feel ur pain..You have every right to think and plan about your future ..Plz start working on it if you r firm on your decision..Posting here wont help much.You have to fight your own battle..If you want to ask whatever u r thinking is right or not then yes its absolutely right..Your kids will thank u if u work for the betterment of your career and freedom..All d best
     

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