Want to give baby for adoption.

I am compelled to ask you "WHAT WILL YOU DO IFF YOU REALIZE YOU WANT THE BABY BACK A FEW MONTHS OR YEARS AFTER GIVING IT AWAY IN ADOPTION?

 

Hi,
Don't get angry and frustrated. You are posting your problem on a public forum, and you will be judged whether you like it or not, because people only know your side of the story.

Take what you feel is good, ignore the rest.

I really wish I could get in touch with you.......to consider adopting your child, seriously!

 

123aaa,

You still haven't answered this question till now though many Ilites have asked you - what is your husband and parent's/in-laws point of view? Do they agree with you on giving up baby for adoption? How is your mom, who forced you to have a baby as you say, okay for your decision?



Jaya

 

Truly a shocking post. I don't think the OP is going to respond back here as it seems like she doesn't like the remarks from other ladies here. I really hope and pray that the child finds a good and loving home.

Some people! What were they thinking?????

 

123aaaa;
IL is a place where most of the members are mothers or aspiring to be mothers once in their life time. So when you put a post that you hate your 10 month old so much that you want to give him away; you wouldn't have expected accolades for your chutzpah. I hope not.
Why the anger was directed towards you is mainly because you could have avoided a child being brought to this world . You knew from start that you didn't want it; so did your partner. So what right do you have to give birth and orphan the baby. A woman has reproductive rights; but that doesn't mean we should start manufacturing kids when we can't guarantee to love it. You both didn't have the courage to say no to your parents and now you have the courage to say "NO" to your infant; who doesn't know anything or anyone other than you. Even hens come to peck us when we are near the chicken. It is saddening that you don't feel the protective instinct of a mother.
You cannot bear to hear the comments of the faceless iltes; I wonder how you will bear all the criticisms of your friends; relatives and parents; which is sure to follow if this news leak. If you decide to take a big step; you should be strong enough to stand up to it.
Being said this; I still suggest you to consult a therapist. These forms of detachment is not normal. I am not implying you are crazy; but lady; you need a kick to your head. Maybe a couple of sessions might help to put you back to perspective. Secondly; If you still want to give away kid discuss and come to consensus with your husband. You have; taking your words; not discussed with you husband and not aware his thought on this. So start with him. And finally; do see a gynac. So that these types of incidents do not repeat till you are ready for this lifelong commitment in your words.
-Nitha

 

really shoking post,
1233 u give answer every one in ur family accept this?
dont make all the pepole foolish.donot waste the time ,give the answer. ru playing?
from which country u r?

regards
hemalatha murali

 

Dear 123,

I am sorry that you feel this way, but take heart in knowing that you will consult a therapist.

Please do not be upset with the ladies that have responded to you. Sometimes when we feel so strongly about something, we tend to defend it to the max. That is what is happening with both you and the ladies responding to you. The ladies here are mostly mothers or women who are dying to become a mother. So naturally, they will be a bit shocked to read a post such as yours. In your case, you had no desire to be a mother but were cajoled into it (for whatever reasons) and now are looking for a way out. Of course you need help and your baby needs to be loved. I believe that somewhere inside you are not feeling loved either.

When we ask you about your husband and mother and mil, we are just trying to get a better picture of what you are going through. I believe that you do love your child, otherwise you would not wish for him to have a stable home and loving parents. There is some sort of emotion that you have for him. If it were a stranger, you would not care about his upbringing or anything else. But you want him to be loved but. You apparently believe that you are not capable of loving him. Sometimes, giving up a child is the most loving thing a mother could do. So, please do not doubt the love you have for him.

Instead, talk to your family. Tell them how you feel. If they are not listening to you or if they blame you, please know that they are doing so out of fright and not hate. Talk to a therapist. We all are only a virtual group that can help….you need someone who you can physically see and hear and talk to.

All the best dear.

 

GET HELP!!!!! I agree with Nitha.

You are very lucky to have a mother in law who takes care of the baby. Do u work outside of the home?

In this country, there are lots of help for this situation. Back home, we had family. We got advice form them how to take care of the baby. Read about the PMD in the internet.

Get well and take care of your baby.:idea

 

I am posting this assuming that you are talking about a real situation here. If you are not prepared to raise the child, why not let your mother in law or mother take care of him till you are emotionally ready to accept him? why put him up for adoption since you seem to have a family to help you out?

 

I don't agree that since we are mothers or wanna be mothers, the response is so and so. Any human would want to know why such a decision after 9+10 months of dragging your feet in such a sensitive issue. Also the involved here is an innocent baby who is entirely dependent on you parents.

You make a mistake and you got to accept it and see what can be done without hurting anyone anymore. From your original post, many of us understood it as you just want to wash your hands off. I personally felt you had no remorse as to what you have done and still doing, which is why such posts.

As Nitha said, if this is the response from strangers like this, imagine how much people will respect you those who know you personally. I am not saying adoption is wrong, but there should be pressing reasons to do so. There are millions of new orphans every day in this world because of lethargic parents like you. Your 5 minute of fun is a lifetime scar for an innocent life. As much as the adopted family would take care of these kids, don't you think end of the day they might have this feeling - Why me, why was I given away?

And it wasn't their fault in the first place !!!! Think about it.