Want to give baby for adoption.

Its really very surprising to hear that your mom wanted you to have a kid, you had a kid....now you want to give away the kid??? so are you waiting for your mom to tell you to nurture the kid? then you would do it??

Really..I hate to say this..but you need to go to a therapist...reason...You were solely responsible for bringing the kid into your life...you had an option to not listen to your mom, when your husband was not ready to have a kid, what made you even conceive this baby?

now what is this babys fault?? can you answer that question??

Usually people give kids away to adoption when they have no support system or no proper resources to feed the kid or no one to take care of like lost mom n dad or if the mom is a teenager...What is your reason to give away the kid?? that the kid is a commitment?? so isnt marraige a commitment? would you be ready to give up marriage also one day as you would feel its big responsibility and its tying you down ??

How old are you by the way??? are you working or studying? where is your mom among all this? if your husband is not willing to hear anything about giving the baby for adoption did you talk to your mom / inlaws???

I really want you to talk to a therapist as to whats the real deal here!So if you give away this baby for adoption, would you stop having babies in future???what would you answer your kid when he grows up and asks you why did you give me away??? will you tell him that the kid was too much of a commitment to you???

When the going gets tough.....the tough get going!!!remember that...its easy to get rid of responsibilities and commitment, but remember one day you would long for the same.

 

Nandhu/SriVidya,

I can't agree more with you on what you & SriVidya have written.

I got tears in my eyes reading this thread because its been 10 years since my marriage and I am childless.

Here I have given up my dreams and hopes of becoming a mother for ever and here is a mother who becomes happy at the thought of giving up her baby for adoption. Unfortunate is the little one to have been born to this mother.

I have nothing more to say because you have already said what I felt like saying.


Jaya

 

Jaya.. please don't worry. It's just taking time, that is all. Be positive

And please don't quote that doctor advised you to give away your baby for adoption. You, as a mother and your husband are the only 2 souls in this whole world who can make that decision.

 

Hello;
I do not mean to question your decisions; but I am little curious on a few things.
Why did you go for a kid when both of you were not interested. You mentioned it was for parents. Now will your parents accept when you plan to give child for adoption. I don't get it????
Don't you feel any happiness when you see him smile at you? First teeth? When he sat up on his own? Crawled? Anything? Any moment you felt proud to be a mother?
I would still suggest you go to a good therapist to eliminate chances of post-partum depression.You cannot be your own doctor. Just to be sure.
Another suggestion is maybe you can sent your kid back to India; if your parents/inlaws can take care of him.
If you still feel to give away your flesh-blood, do have a discussion with your husband. See what his opinions are.
Babies are not some goods that you can return if you didn't like it. There are many formalities. First one is consent of both parents. So check whether husband and you are on same page.
Yes; children are life-long commitment. I wish you both had realized it before bringing the child to this world.
Just a request from me: If you want to give him for adoption; it might take some days till everything work out. Till then give a morning kiss and goodnight kiss from me to your son.
-Nitha

 

I might sound nuts but I am totally feeling ok to say this! .....

1234aaaa
establish contact with our friend jaya here and give away your kid to her (am sure she is going to be a terrific mom and even if she had more kids down the line she would be very happy to have babies around)....I had to say this because seems like you have already made up your mind....and I have nothing in my mind I can say...because when you already made a decision, nothing can make you rethink of it

 

Hi there,

Please have someone around you all the time when the baby is with you - so that you don't end up harming him. No matter how detached you feel from him, you need to take care of him for now.

First, you need to ask your husband whether he has any attachment towards the baby. Don't bother about your parents/in-laws. If both of you decide you don't have any love for the baby, then it is a must that you seek professional guidance.

Go to a counselor or psychiatrist, to gauge whether you have any innate or hidden feelings for the child. Depending on what the counselor says, you take a joint decision. Whatever you decide, DO NOT harm the baby. It will have dire consequences.

 

Completely agree.

 

Sri;
Its always better not to be able to know the foster parents. Chances of melodramatic appearance of biological parents are quite quite high. Just my thoughts.
-Nitha

 

I second with Srvidya, you can contact Jaya and see if she is ready to adopt the baby. As you have described your feelings I would say, best is to give the baby to a childless couple trying to have a baby. Please seek the help of doctors etc.
If you don't feel anything for the baby please give away the baby. The doctors are right. Please don't harm the baby in any way, if you do so you will be destroying his entire adult life, and he might grow up with personality disorders.
Best route is give away the baby.
I appreciate that you are trying to be honest about your feelings and doctors will understand this.
Again Please give away the baby to a childless couple.