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Want to give baby for adoption.

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by 1234aaaa, Feb 22, 2010.

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  1. 1234aaaa

    1234aaaa New IL'ite

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    Hi All. Have anyone of you given your baby for adoption?What was it like?I have my baby born but I do not have any love for him.All time I am thinking of harming him or myself. Went to doctor,that is what they have suggested.Your thoughts and opinions will be much appreciated.
     
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    what is the reason for your anger towards your new born?is it something that his father did? or is it something that you did which is embarassing you? are you married? if not is it the reason for your anger??

    Giving baby for adoption at very early days after the baby is born is a good thing for people like you..rather than spending time witht he baby and you dont know whether you want teh babyor not...whether you can take care of the baby or not...

    Where are your parents? what is their thought on this adoption thing? cant they take care of this baby for a while until you get back to your normal senses and deal with your anger?
     
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  3. 1234aaaa

    1234aaaa New IL'ite

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    No I am married. There is no reason for no love towards kid. He is 10 months old but I have no affection towards him. It is just my feeling that I feel I cannot be a parent at this time or anytime during life. So that is why thought of giving him up for adoption as it is a lifetime commitment. My mother-in-law is here with me for past 6 months and she is helping me a lot but still no difference towards kid. Have not told her anything about this adoption.Please share your thoughts.Thank you.
     
  4. roopahari

    roopahari New IL'ite

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    Dear girl,
    Motherhood is a blessing, not all women are as lucky as you.
    Adoption is not only 'your' decision, what does your husband say about this?
    Take some time and think about what you really want, don't take decisions you will regret later.
    There are hundreds of couples( including us) who are waiting for a baby to bring sunshine into their lives, if you do decide that you want to give your son up for adoption, its like giving someone the gift of life. Its the most precious gift ever.

    Think calmly and discuss with your family....
     
  5. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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  6. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Sweetheart...Where is your husband among all this? what is his take on this? did you talk to him about it? What made you think that you cannot be a parent at this time or anytime?? why are you feeling that the kid is tied down..

    You can share what are you thoughts and explain in detail to us that way we too would understand whats going on...

    As Nitha said, this might be postpartum depression ...every woman goes through this and might be you werent paid attention after delivery and you still are in that loop..Why dont you try consulting a doctor meanwhile.

    Just like planning for a baby..Adoption also needs to be planned and worked on...so take some time..nothing is easy or tough...every thing has its own time and work needed.
     
  7. Traveller

    Traveller Gold IL'ite

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    I'm sorry this post saddens me a lot. In general, how did you feel during pregnancy, when you went for scans, during the labor itself? Please do consider checking with a therapist soon. Babies of such age thrive on emotional attachment and they can very well sense the detachment from the mother. I'm unable to bring myself to write anymore. I hope you do find a positive solution.

    Latha
     
  8. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear child,

    I agree with Nitha. Please seek help. If you have no problems with your husband then please tell him what you are going through and together crack this problem. You DO NEED to be assessed by a good Psychiatrist before it is too late.

    Love,
    Amma15.
     
  9. 1234aaaa

    1234aaaa New IL'ite

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    Hi All. Thank you so much for your concerns and kind thoughts. The thing is we never wanted a kid but parents from both sides especially my mother pushed us into this like anything that we could not even think over this. I don't even feel like talking to my mom.Entire pregnancy we were not excited. My husband never came running to feel baby kicks. It was a normal thing. Now regarding my husband opinion the issue is he never listens to me on this as how I am feeling. I am kinda dragging myself for the past months. And I don't feel it is depression because when I am away from the baby still I don't feel nice thinking he is still here but when I think that he will be given for adoption I am happy. And also I don't want to keep this baby is because it is a lifetime commitment and don't want to regret later so that it becomes difficult for me and the baby. Does anyone of you know anyone who have given their kid for adoption or any good adoption agencies. Thanks again.
     
  10. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    I really get irritated to see people like you still exist in this world. Not accepting that either you are in depression or it is your fault.

    Your mother told you and so you had a baby? Please. stop blaming others and take responsibility. So what if family pressured you and your husband?. Aren't you adults?? Do you always do only what your mother tells you to?

    Think about the innocent newborn because of your blunder. He did not ask you to give birth to him. If you had been a human and stopped having a baby for others, may be he would now be born in a loving family that he deserves.

    I hope God teach you sometime in your life what it is to be uncared and unloving. Remember what goes around comes around.

     
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