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Want to get rid of the "third person"

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012.

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  1. Apr 5, 2012 #1
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    I am facing this new problem which came upfront yesterday..
    their is a gf of my husband's frnd..so yesterday when we four and some of his frnds went for dinner this girl was trying to act like my husbands gf..she was constantly trying to be with him..also when we were having food and when she couldn't eat extra roti, she asked my husband to have half of it, instead of telling this to her bf..also after some time she offered some other stuff from her plate too..

    Also i offered her seat besides her bf and also another frnd was telling her to have seat near her bf but she acted unheard and went and sat near my husband..till this point i was ignorant..i felt that she must not have heard what we said.. but after the above incident i was pretty angry..i said nothing over there because then it would have turned into an argument between my husband and me as he may take it as being suspicious about him..

    Also before few months when we went for a day trip she kept on being with me so that me and my husband won't be together..

    After coming home i asked my husband that if he did not felt something fishy..he said that it was just that her bf and she was having some fight and may be she wanted to make him jealous
    but i get to hear about their fights almost daily also just beacuse they had a fight doen't mean that my husband is an alternative..i am not satisfied with his answer..

    I don't know how to get rid of her..please help..
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    #1
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  2. Apr 5, 2012 #2
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    I think if i start flirting with her bf their won't be any difference between me and her..and i guess this would only create fights between me and my husband and that too with very few chances of solution..and it would also amount to doubting him, which i am not..because we are in contact on constant basis..he do call me the way he used to do during our affair days..so i guess their are less chances of him having affair with her..
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
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  3. Apr 5, 2012 #3
    anuram09

    anuram09 IL Hall of Fame

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    In my opinion your H should have asked her to go and sit near her bf. He should not allow her to use him, to make her bf jealous. Talk with your husband and get clarified.
     
    anuram09, Apr 5, 2012
    anuram09, Apr 5, 2012
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  4. Apr 5, 2012 #4
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    yeah I do have faith in my husband, but that doesn't rule out the possibility of her winning him over...:(
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
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  5. Apr 5, 2012 #5
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    Yes even i feel the same now..but what should i do now..
    i have asked my husband to not to be in contact with her..but since they belong to same profession this thing is least possible..
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
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  6. Apr 5, 2012 #6
    Hyral

    Hyral Gold IL'ite

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    Dear I understand how it feels if some other gal trys empower on your DH. you better call her up casually and just casually narrate her that....your so n so friend(create virtual friend;)) tried to make her BF jealous by being more with her Bf's friend(similar to ur case) and later that gal and her BF had lot of misunderstandings......also tell her that you find it cheap when some gals goes overboard to impress guys who are married and has family....
    tell her that you adviced ur friend to instead spend time in bonding more with her bf instead of creating jealousy for whatever reason
    Better inform you DH casually that you dont like her behaving l ike this and so you wont tolerate it next time coz even if she is doing out of jealousy as per ur DH this jealousy non serious thing might turn up serious and as she is just A GF of her BF not yet married so she wont know serious of being married....tell this to ur DH hope he understands
     
    Hyral, Apr 5, 2012
    Hyral, Apr 5, 2012
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  7. Apr 5, 2012 #7
    lostlife

    lostlife Junior IL'ite

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    You are right dear.If you have read my thread in same forum you can understand how i have lost faith and trust in my DH.He was a GEM,I was having lot of faith in him but he cheated me and also he was acting all normal with me after cheating .
    I don't want you to be afraid by my post.I hope and pray this should not happen with you or anyone else but anybody can fall at any moment.I don't know about your DH's personality but knowing my DH i just want to say if my DH falls and can cheat me i don't trust others.
    Just try to become more friendly and close to him and never give him chance to get along with that friend when you are not with him and also when you are there.
     
    lostlife, Apr 5, 2012
    lostlife, Apr 5, 2012
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  8. Apr 5, 2012 #8
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    Hey thanks for your suggestion.. I would try this out..this way i won't sound rude but still my point would be clear..:)
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
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  9. Apr 5, 2012 #9
    Megalife

    Megalife Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Op
    Some girls have this problem. According to them the more closely they mingle and gel with men "XYZ", they are satisfyng their feeling of being popular/attractive etc......soothing their own ego and lame insecurities. They try to attract "men"....any man will do somebodys hus/dad/ bro/Bf...doesn't matter! More the fan-following, more the merrier.
    Speak to her pointblank, like "are you having some serious prob with you BF, you seem to be avoiding him off lately!??"
    Try to do it on the dinner table/or when she is surrounded with people (your DH includ.). She will stop acting like a teeaage- butterfly and fall down in her own esteem. Further, she will be on guard fearing your sharp tongue.
    Mega
     
    Megalife, Apr 5, 2012
    Megalife, Apr 5, 2012
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  10. Apr 5, 2012 #10
    cpriyanka

    cpriyanka New IL'ite

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    Yeah even i feel the same that prevention is always better than cure..
    at first i was very positive about her being his frnd because even i understand that interaction is part and parcel of professional life..but her behavior is irritating me and i want to sort this out without creating much talks about it..
     
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    cpriyanka, Apr 5, 2012
    #10
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