Wake up to the World Cup 2011

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vivbass, Mar 28, 2007.

  1. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    The Times Of India 14th Feb,2011:
    India is playing in a 5 nation tournament ;the other countries being
    Uganda,Sudan,Papua new guinea and the mighty Bolivia.Today is a must win
    match for India against tournament favourites Bolivia for a berth in the
    semi finals.The winner of the tournament will fight for a place to enter
    the top 35 rankings in the world.
    On the morning of the match ,a strategy session is being held by Greg and
    Rahul.This is how it goes.
    Greg:Boys,this is one of the most important matches in the last three
    years.We have to beat Bolivia.Lets go through the batting line up and the
    bowling line up in this meeting.
    Greg:So Sourav ,you will open right?
    Sourav:I don't know.Bolivia has a pace bowler who only bowls short pitch
    deliveries.His pace is consistently in the range 55-60 miles /hour.I cannot
    handle all that pace.
    Greg:Oh,thats ok.He won't dare to bowl short pitch stuff against the Indian
    batsman(we have such good credentials).If he does by mistake,just to make a
    statement to the media,get Hit Wicket and come back.Such non sense should
    not be tolerated.
    Greg:So who will partner Sourav.
    Rahul:I think Sehwag should.He looked in form in the last game against
    Sudan.He hit 5 fours between first slip and second slip before he caught at
    second slip.I think he is in the pink of his form and he should open.
    Greg:Thats good.
    Greg:Sachin,you will bat at four ... ok?
    Sachin:I don't know.I have to go shopping at 11.That means I can't bat
    beyond ten overs.
    Greg:Sourav and Sehwag will last till six overs.So ,you will come
    then.Don't worry,just play your natural game and follow your instincts.You
    will go by ten overs.
    Greg:So Dhoni,you will keep?
    Dhoni:I am not keeping.Last time ,I kept for three hours.My hair is getting
    spoilt of this.I have thousands of lice in my hair.As a result,the cows in
    my village have started snubbing me and my advances.These days,dragonflies
    have started staying in my hair as their food lice is there.I need a
    haircut ,I am not playing.
    Greg:please play just one more match,its the mightly Bolivians ,just one
    last one.

  2. vivbass

    vivbass Gold IL'ite

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    Dhoni:Ok.Don't do it next time.
    Now it is time to decide on the bowling line up.
    Greg:Obviously Zaheer is opening.He was brilliant last game.
    (Zaheer had bowled only 23 wides in the last match and he picked up three
    wickets.The secret to this brilliant bowling performance was a result of a
    mentoring session from Venkatesh Prasad.Prasad told him that to bowl from
    mid off and aim at Third slip.As a result ,Zaheer returned with the best
    figures in the match.)
    Greg:Offlate I have noticed that Rahul has been facing a lot of pressure
    and so we have decided to come up with Batting,Bowling and Fielding Captain
    to relieve Rahul of some of the responsibility.
    Greg:I have noticed that Munaf Patel has stayed not out in the last three
    matches(all the other batsmen had got out by then).I admire the commitment
    of this lad and as a result he is the Batting Captain.
    Greg:I was also going through this figure.Sourav has been involved in 177
    run outs.But he himself has never got out.He values his wicket so much.I
    think we all need to Congratulate him on the price he sets for his
    wicket.Sourav,you are the RUNNING BETWEEN THE WICKETS captain.
    Greg:Anil has been sitting on the bench for the last three years.He keeps
    taking snaps throughout the match.He is such a teamman.I think we need to
    recognize this loyalty.Anil,you are the Bowling Captain.
    Greg:Harbhajan is the fielding captain.
    Rahul:But he dropped the catch in the last match when he dived to his right
    to take it.
    Greg:Atleast he dived in the right direction.
    After this intense brainstorming session ,Indialooks all set to take on
    Bolivia.Please pray for the team's success.
    PS:The tournament's main sponsor is Ghatkopar Software.They have a lot of
    money at stake.

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