wacky definitions

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by manjulats, Aug 12, 2008.

  1. manjulats

    manjulats Silver IL'ite

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    School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.




    Life Insurance:
    A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


    Nurse:
    A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


    Marriage:
    It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

    Tears:
    The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


    Lecture:
    An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"


    Conference:
    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


    Compromise:
    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


    Dictionary:
    A place where success comes before work.


    Conference Room:
    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


    Father:
    A banker provided by nature.


    Boss:
    Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


    Politician:
    One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


    Doctor:
    A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

    Classic:
    Books, which people praise, but do not read.


    Smile:
    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office:
    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn:
    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc.:
    A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


    Committee:
    Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


    Experience:
    The name men give to their mistakes.


    Atom Bomb:
    An invention to end all inventions.


    Philosopher:
    A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

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    Last edited: Aug 12, 2008
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