Vismaya Dowry Death.

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by chanchitra, Jun 25, 2021.

  1. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes.
    What's the hurry for a final year student to marry.
    Why can't she marry after finishing her degree and getting a job.why should be marriage so essential for indian girls.

    Vismaya, in the WhatsApp chat, said that her husband did not like the car gifted by her father as dowry and used to thrash her over that. Vismaya said she was dragged by her hair and stamped on the face over dowry. The harassment was especially over the car by Kumar who used to verbally abuse Vismaya's father, saying that he deserved more dowry according to his stature but got only very little.
     
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  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Very very unfortunate happening that too in current times, when there are plenty of ways to lead life without
    suffering a hopeless marriage. Do not know whom really to blame! Once there are demands to this extent of dowry, like cash, car etc the parents could have not got her married there itself. Apart from this, speaking in general many parents become willing and shell out huge amounts in dowry etc when they feel the groom is rich and their daughter would live in luxury! The girl herself after finding her monster of a husband would have hesitated to go back fearing causing trouble to her parents after all that they have done for her (like most girls would feel). This is where these patriarchial rogues have the upper hand. Very sad situation!
     
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  3. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Exactly. They should have waited to she finishes her studies and get a job. Any girl feels more confident, secure when she is economically independent. Parents have to wake up. They give more importance to society than their daughter's safety and happiness. So many wild customs in India.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2021
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  4. stayblessed

    stayblessed Platinum IL'ite

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    The whole issue is so sad. Even educated people falling prey to dowry is really pathetic. I dont know why people get their daughter married in to a family who ask dowry. There starts the mistake. Greedy people can't be satisfied. What's the urgency to get their daughter married while she is still studying. After her studies she would have stood on her own legs and wouldn't have felt insecure. The whole marriage system in India is ridiculous. The one thing I keep telling my daughters is that marriage is secondary, education and career are the most important things in life. Companionship should give peace, and not threaten it, if it does its not worth it and its not such a big thing to miss. I feel its high time parents give their children the confidence to walk off from an abusive marriage. As you said in your post its better to be a divorcee than to die. We have glorified marriage more than it deserves.
     
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  5. stayblessed

    stayblessed Platinum IL'ite

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    Exactly. The girls needn't hesitate to walk off. Legally we can claim back all that has been shelled out. Its better not to get married to such greedy families and even if the parents willingly gave too there are ways to get them back without suffering in an abusive marriage. Even if we can't get back the amount it's fine to loose money than life. Feel really sad for the girl and her parents.
     
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  6. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes.All the dowry given can be got back.
    Only the wedding expenses will be lost
     
  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    The police will ensure that S Kirankumar, who is the accused in the case related to wife Vismaya V Nair’s death, gets severe punishment, said South Zone IG Harshita Athalluri who is overseeing the investigation. It is not important whether it is a case of murder or not, the loss of a girl’s life due to harassment is what is important here, she said, while speaking to the media after visiting Vismaya’s home at Nilamel on Wednesday.

    “This is a serious and well-documented case and the digital evidence is strong too. The postmortem report needs to be examined in detail and the doctor’s statement recorded. After this, a decision will be taken on the charges, including murder,” said Harshita
     
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  8. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Gold IL'ite

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    People talk about the fault of girl’s parents. Yes, there were faults from their side.Their faults are,
    1. Not educating their daughter that someone who hit her even before marriage ( just because she talked to boys from her class) have a serious character flaw and is not a husband material at all. Vismaya didn’t reveal this to her parents , she thought he did this because he deeply loved her ! She didn’t realize he has a personality disorder, misunderstand it as love. She later told this to her mother once dowry harassment in the name of car started. Time to educate our girls what is love and what is a disorder...
    2. Her parents filed a police complaint against Kiran once he started to physically abuse her. But there was an agreement later and Vismaya herself requested her brother not to proceed with the case, because this will risk KIran’s government job and she didn’t want that. She told her brother that she is not going back to Kiran’s house but don’t want to risk his job, as it is his income. This shows she cared for him even after all these abuses.. She didn’t realize he is not worth it and that is going to cost her life. Her parents shouldn’t have agreed to this.
    3. Vismaya went back to Kiran’s place without her parents knowledge. Yes, once her parents realize , she is back there, her parents should have gone there straight and took her back. Yes, that’s their fault.
    Everyone is talking about girl’s parents...

    My opinion: yes, there are faults from their side, but this is the time to talk about boy’s parents, the fault lies more with them in raising an abuser..and just because their son had a government job, he is superior and can demand and abuse his wife to death..Time to shame these people!
     
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  9. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    I never support Vismaya's husband and his parents. Frankly I hate such persons but I strongly believe in as a parent we have/need to protect our daughter from brutal persons and customs at any cost.
     

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