Visiting the Sick

Okay! We are a nation who takes illness very seriously. We have this social obligation to visit people who are sick for many reasons:

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• If it is from our in-laws side, then you are scared that your MIL will tell you off for not making polite enquiries about the sick person. If it is from your family, you will never hear the end of it at every social occasion when you meet that person or somebody near and dear to them.
• Everybody loves to share labour pain history with new moms. It is like a contest-who had the worst pains, who had it easy and all the other gory details. And we all love babies and especially trying to find out whom they look alike. It is another matter that babies look like everybody in the family by turns and non family people too!
• Somebody in the CCU is difficult to meet—so you go and meet their near and dear and try to smuggle yourself in to check out all the instruments that are linked up.
• All of us love to give advice—especially medical—and we want to make sure that others don’t have your own horrendous luck with hospitals, doctors, nurses, IV lines and getting-or-not-getting-the-vein horror stories. Or you want to make sure that the sick person benefits from your wonderful angel of a doctor who hides his/her wings under their white coat.

Tips to make hospital/sick visits meaningful:<o></o>

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• Remember the whole idea is to spend some warm, quality time with a relative/friend. Call first if possible. This is etiquette and you can fix a convenient time for the patient and the caregiver to visit.

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• Always knocks before entering a room--at home or in the hospital. This will save both of you from an embarrassing situation.

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• Announce yourself with your name, especially if it is an older person as they may not recognize you immediately because of medicines, pain etc.

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• Try to be cheerful so that your visit may raise their spirits and give them hope. Don’t become maudlin and don’t crack sick jokes. If it is an older person try to recall something that they did for you—a meal that they cooked or a book that they presented you.

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• Have a normal conversation, just what you would discuss if you met them under ordinary circumstances. Remember the visit is not about you. Be ready to listen as well as talk.

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• Don't share gory details about other people who had similar problems, especially if they did not recover. Don’t undermine their confidence with the treatment they are getting.

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• Don't argue or get into a sentimental boohoo. Listen to their complaints about their own family but don’t add to the complaints with your own experiences. They are the caregivers and require your respect.

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• Keep your visit short and don’t spend the entire visiting hours. Others may want to visit as well. Visitors can be tiring. Under normal circumstances ten to fifteen minutes is long enough.

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• Offer to do something for them or the caregivers—even going to a special temple, doing some shopping, bringing food etc.

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• DON’T take fruits, biscuits, flowers to a hospital. They are fine for home visits but check whether fruits and flowers are okay for the patient.