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Very Good In Laws Albeit Unclean

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ThanjavurPonnu, Jan 21, 2020.

  1. Moochi

    Moochi Bronze IL'ite

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    Do you have clinical diagnosis of OCD OP? If not don't make such grand dramatic statements to your inlaws. And add to it your lie about fear of pests it's unlikely they will take you seriously.
    Instead search Google for pics and info about pests and educate them.Other Ilites gave you so many wonderful ideas in this. I just wanted to say don't make psychiatric problems sound so simple... If you don't have it then your words can be used against you. You being dramatic about OCD won't help you.
     
  2. Radhai

    Radhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Caution: He may never want to get rid of the bugs :smash2:
     
    Rihana and ThanjavurPonnu like this.
  3. heron

    heron Platinum IL'ite

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    They are being symbiotic with the little life around.

    I am a borderline OCD too...so cleanliness is important for me... I clean, I find ways to organise, even get some talking therapy over the phone to learn to let go...but I don't force someone to clean for me ... OCD dosn't work that way.

    Give them some knowledge about pests bringing illness other than that...if they get it its fine else plan the 'war on pests' yourself. Once they see how life is without pests, I don't think they will go back to the symbiosis life again.

    Have a happy life... mutual acceptance is the key.

    @Radhai:... brevity queen's back.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2020
    ThanjavurPonnu likes this.
  4. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thank you for the suggestions :)

    I have almost done deep research on how to get rid of BBs. When it entered my house, I packed everything in plastic bags, sun dried them. I washed all my clothes in hot water, dry cleaned others and sent them to my mother's place from laundry place itself.
    I put my stuff like books, cosmetics etc in a separate plastic bag and sun dried. I still store my clothes in zip lock bag (huge ones). I can now probably give tips on how to get rid of them but I don't know how to convince ILs.
    That's the reason I could inspect every corner. I even got deep cleaning service agent at home. Whereas at in-laws I couldn't do these as everybody's stuff was lying here and there.

    I tried being nice despite angry moments. I guess every married woman undergoes that.


     
  5. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thank you for the words. :)

    I've slowly begun as you have suggested. Disposing off old newspapers, getting maids to clean more corners the days I'm at home, cleaned up roaches mess just last week. Now that house got rid of roaches I can clearly see rise in BBs. I honestly don't want them to my place so I don't spend a lot of time downstairs like I used to before.
    I do miss spending time with them but I can't imagine doing the entire cleaning procedure if they come to my place again. Took me a month to clean everything as I followed almost a SOP!
    DH won't understand and I'm not at a stage to fight. We've already fought over this before and it brought it topics that I expect to be coming on my way.

    I have requested for changing wooden furniture in the house, mattress as these attract BBs the most. I can only pray and hope that after my incessant requests FIL agrees. As you said, I did make it clear to my DH that I can't imagine pests biting our children.
     
  6. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thank you, ji.
    <<If not, you will have to work extra hard to keep your bedroom clean and make sure husband will not sit on the bed until he changes his clothes.>>
    Agar yeh Karne walon me se hote to vo apne pitaji ko hi Nahi manate ki isse dikkat ho raha hai mujhe? :)


    Lol. I honestly dread snakes. Who doesn't :D
     
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  7. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thank you for the suggestions.
    <<
    Consider them similarly. You can't control them. But can control what is under your control. So, make plans as to how best you could avoid pests coming to your home from theirs>>
    That's exactly what I do. I'm a working woman. I reach home, put my bag and then relax for sometime and begin to clean. I haven't hired a maid because our timings don't match. I sweep and mop. Then wash clothes (no washing machine and add to it, I prefer to hand washing good clothes). I keep dhoop, kalpoor in wardrobe, keep toilet clean, regularly change linen, curtains. And spray a herbal spray that I got from medical shop. My efforts will increase but I'd rather put it here than spend time to convince !

    And no, they never celebrated festivals as they didn't think it was important. Well, that is what suits them. But in my case since house is messy I have to take double efforts :)

     
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  8. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thanks. No. It's an exaggeration but I'm extremely particular about cleanliness and hygiene. When you're unhappy about an event A and another person is indifferent to it then one of them has to bend. Depends on who can influence better :)
    You're right I shouldn't be making such statements to my ILs. Thanks for pointing that :)

     
  9. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Thanks for the words :)

    I suggested many things but I haven't seen any progress :)
    Of course there were impediments and unavoidable circumstances. I can only wait and watch if they agree (Deep cleaning, fixing furniture are few things that I suggested :)).

     
  10. ThanjavurPonnu

    ThanjavurPonnu New IL'ite

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    Unfortunately they don't work. They move from one room to another. That's it.
     

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