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Very Disturbing Situation

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by BeautifulSmile, Jan 4, 2019.

  1. BeautifulSmile

    BeautifulSmile Silver IL'ite

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    Not judging anyone, but what to know other views on this.

    We have a family whatsapp group with 4 generations people (In laws side). Majority of this group members are from India and resides in multiple countries. Recently one of the family member passed away unexpectedly. Person A posted , this person is no more within few mins of death. I got disturbed with this, as demised persons family members are also in this group and not sure whether they are aware of it or not, because they stay outside India.

    Second, person B posted demised persons departure pictures. This is most disturbing. when I say disturbing means, in a sad way. I couldn't able to see those pictures, though I wasn't much attached to that person. But are there any ethics, in what to post what not to post. These people who are posting these, they are very very highly qualified and in much bigger position . I am not sure how to take these.

    Might be I am overthinking.
     
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  2. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    No u r not it is weird.. till the news was right but pictures r not right.. it’s free call just call n say the message..
     
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  3. Lalithambigai

    Lalithambigai IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely. Long back I had seen someone post similar pic on FB and I was so disturbed even though I had no idea who it was, no connection at all, just happened to see. So I very well understand how you must have felt.
     
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  4. jskls

    jskls IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely not correct to share pictures of deceased (departing/departed). Very disturbing. Feel sorry for the family.
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2019
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  5. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes I experienced something very similar very recently in college alumnus group . I typed a message to that person in private told him kindly don't post picture of departure picture . He obviously was offended . But acted immediately. Removed pic of departure pic and put a pic when he was alive .
     
  6. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, I have seen that happening too. It indeed is disturbing to watch pictures like that. When my grandma passed, I was bombarded with pictures like that. I didnt appreciate it at all. people who can, will attend the funeral. People who cant, neednt see those pictures. I just dont see a point.
     
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  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    It is absolutely wrong to pass a message of someone passing away without the consent of the kith and kin. Even worse is posting the departed soul's picture. Similarly, we need to be careful about communicating the messages given to us for onward transmission.

    Once my boss's wife called me and told me to pass on the message about her father-in-law's passing away to my wife as they were very close. I completely forgot about it for nearly 15 days. When we visited them, my wife asked, "How is thatha ("Grandpa")? My boss's wife replied, "He has gone home". My wife asked, "Did patti ("grandma") also go with him?"
    Luckily, my boss's wife understood she wasn't aware of her FIL's death due to my carelessness.
     
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  8. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Beautifulsmile,

    Since your opening sentence asked for other viewpoints, here is mine. In old days there used to be tradition that all family members come to view the deceased person and pay their respects. It is called ‘antim shraddhanjali’ last view and similar terms in other languages. Even in western culture they have a viewing before burying the person. HW was brought to DC and kept there for the benefit of those who lived too far away to pay their respects. All this background to explain that there is nothing ghoulish or bizarre or weird about what your relative did. He/She was probably being considerate for the sake of those relatives who lived too far away to travel in time to see the deceased. For lesser mortals now since we are all global citizens the bereaved family often through WhatsApp or FB posts a picture of deceased so relatives can view and mentally pay their respects. It is kind of a closure for those who knew the person or were close to them. Also probably since it was unexpected death the person posted the pics to confirm the shocking news. What they did is quite normal. It’s fine that you personally didn’t like it that is your choice but what they did was quite ethical, within the norms.
     
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  9. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    Those people, they are idiots.
    If you wish to scratch them off your whatsapp, this is the time to do it, after telling them what they are.
    A family has the absolute first right to convey their sad news to others.
    Posting pictures is a terrible thing to do.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2019
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  10. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    POsting the news of demise is OK, IMO. If they were all part of a whatsapp group, the people who conveyed it on the group probably heard it from the immediate family. But posting pictures - definitely no.

    This actually happened in my family recently, with 2 deaths within months of each other, a relative here in the US was really sad and wanted to see the deceased one last time apparently. So her parents were there holding a phone for her to see, much to the blatant disapproval of the others there, while the rituals were in progess before the deceased were taken off for cremation. For one of them, the priest who was performing the final rituals scolded them not to do such things. It was spoken about very disapprovingly by the entire family.

    It is the bane of instant communication abilities. While there's a lot of good about them, there's also things like this!!!!
     
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