Very Confused About This Cheating Relationship

Hello Ladies,

I am very happy being found this forum. I really need to tell my agony which I am keeping it in heart for the last 3+ years ever since I am married.

I am 29 years old and has one baby girl who is 2 years and my husband is 35 years old.
I lost my dad 4 years ago and had to rush in for marriage within one year since our customs says after passing away girl should get married within one year otherwise they should not until 3 years. It was very touch situation for my mom . We are siblings me being the eldest and having 2 younger sisters and younger brother .

 

One day got a proposal though mediator and his aunt stays in the village called my mom to talk and they came and saw me said ok .

We stay in bangalore and my husband family too. However his parents never taken responsibility of kids and he has one elder sister at home who is not married and younger sister got love marriage .
We were not bothered about that as we wanted educated and gud hearty guy. Me being an software engineer always been on merit and talent all through my academic and career . This guy just moved to singapore for working . My husband family said he has done M.C.A and has property in village . We believed it and I am from affluent family where my father did everything for the kids . Be it property or anything luxury .
It was a grand marriage where many of his relatives surprised by wondering how he got me and my family . My family is well respected in the society and has got brand name too.
His family was demanding or greedy the more we give the more they started asking during the marriage and post marriage as well.
After marriage got to know he is just 10th pass and ITI for 2 years .in Karnataka the people do ITI ,training after 10th std. I did not ask him since he is my husband and want to move on being eldest daughter and didn't want to tell my family also.
In fact before the marriage until printing the invitation his aunts(mother in laws sisters) were telling he has done M.C.A after we got the invitation cards printed along with education me B.E and he as M.C.A that is when she said he just did I.T.I
We family felt fine move on otherwise big embarassement to whole family . We thought ok move on with this proposal.

 

His family is very show off.though they are poor they are very good showing off.my husband too very much. Before marriage he Said when he came to see me for he first time, he did M.C.A and respect women flashing off his branded watches and all other accessories. I believe him .later after marriage got to know his true character.

All he is very much fascinated the people praising him always this is his life motto and goal and he is ready to do anything for that .

He is a system administrator ,working in Singapore which requires frequent travelling.

All his life he had zero savings and buying expensive luxury gifts to his family members . Branded watches, mobiles and many luxury gift items

After marriage I came here. he and his family had super duper grudge on my family and me. He is a lax man for his aunt and puppet to his family . He obey her words only.he does whatever she says . After marriage we being newly married couple never stayed in my home.

 

My mom is very silent and innocent too . Before marriage they were demanding and she said fine you will b happy once u go there . She was not saying anything . They wanted to host lunch to all our relatives .which is a custom in Karnataka marriage .but they kept on saying u till marriage and later did not talk about that . My mom never asked and instead she said your husband should himself spend and rather than save money for buying home in Bangalore and get a name in the society let them not to think the we have giving girl to poor family.
In fact marriage was grand celebration with 4k people attended and recorded in that function hall. Everybody still praise my Mom and brother for arranging like that . From his family there were very handful number of guests from his end. .
my Mom being alone handling the guests on stage .

Their intention was rule the function hall.but when they saw the crowd mostly from our end , nobody from my husband end came on stage .that's different story .

Just before leaving, my husbands left first for Singapore .his aunt asked him to check whether they got so and so grams of gold from my mom . He came and asked me .i said they never discussed about grams. He left telling his aunt and next day I was at his place . His aunt asked me ur mom told this grams . I said I was there when both family talk about what to give and what not to give . My mom never said that . She said will discuss with my Mom . Later she was calling everyday to my husband to check if I had told him my mom gave 300 grams . In between she was speaking badly of my mom and my family . My husband developed ha trims towards me no my Mom no my sister and brother .

I came to Singapore and my husband treatment was very bad from day1 . There was no Newly married couple love and affection . All he expected is to if his family is happy with me ,then he accepts otherwise he never used to accept me. I should continuously keep calling them so they should feel happy . Then he used to accept me .otherwise no , that's when I got know he cheated me by marrying for money . He had a bad character inside .

On the other hand his family one day attacked my mom and sister checking the absence of my brother at home .they yelled at my mom and sister and scolded my sister for no reason.they had grudge on my sister for no reason.

Days passed on I became pregnant . I Had hard time as I felt lonely most of the time.I have to tell that he is his family oriented and always brought up outside.always having food outside and never think about savings. his family also like that.I felt strange when i got into this family. in fact they got him married to me because of money which his aunt told me. I felt very sad about my state. because i had got wonderful proposals before i kept on rejecting it .finally i got this kind of guy.

 

My husband never interested in posing pic with me. I used to cry in silence .Slowly I got to know what kind of guy he is after 1 year. during my pregnancy, i always wanted to spend time with him. he was like he wants to enjoy with friends when friends call him. he was not even getting though of , hardly stay in town and spend time with my wife , she is pregnant now.

his family wanted boy, i delivered girl. his mom didn't bother to see baby until 11 days. first day she came and went off. he was also sad but was not showing. by god's grace am blessed with beautiful girl. ( i am sorry to say this, but he and his family treated us) now he likes and loves. although she never used to go him until 1 year except everyone .

even now he travels, I take care of everything , searching for rent home here managing finance saving penny by penny for our baby and to give her good future... i used to love him until few months ago. now I take care of his finance and home working and taking care of the baby everything. i think what is his role in my life.

 

AM I leading happy married life ? he does not care me or love me ? he show off that as if he loved and care. he is not intelligent or any characteristic of responsible or educated guy .he does not about his career path. all he knows is working as system admin for all through his career.
he cant teach my kid basic maths also. in fact he does not know addition and subtraction also..i have to be super woman to take care of everything I cant tell this to my family.

since i have sister and brother to get married. i do not want to burden my mom on this .

 

I am very sorry for the long post. this is my 3 years burden in my heart. where i can not share with close freinds or family members.

would like your feedback on that. thanks a lot for reading it