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Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by messedup, Jul 11, 2021.

  1. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Why the people are so shameless, ruthless and heartless. They behave like a saint, think like a devil and act like a monster. Nothing can prove them wrong. Even if they are abusing you straight away you cannot even react with expression. They will not leave you for that expression too.

    God please give me some peace some place to live with some good people on earth who do exist. Let me not believe that good people are hard to find.
     
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  2. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Why? What makes you think so? Answer yourself.

    What do they do? Hurl more abuse? Is that what you are afraid of?

    I don't know if your vent will make more sense to me if I read your earlier posts. Whoever people you are referring to, which I fail to understand coz I haven't read your previous posts, I can only say - "Respect yourself enough!" You don't have to take abuse whatsoever. Write down "why" you cannot change the situation or remove yourself from it. Trust me, even if your list has many "reasons" why you cannot, nothing weighs more than the worth of your life. Life is too short to be wasted in abusive relationships.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2021
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    I live in a joint family. There are many things that one has to adjust with to keep the family going. If you will keep telling others how bad they are this setup won't work. So for the time we don't have any other place to shift we have no other choice than to adjust. Everyone wants to live in their own way which they feel is correct and others have to adjust.
     
  4. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    I empathise with you @messedup. Hugs to you!

    I know. Been there, done that. I know how it feels to get choked in the name of adjustment.

    You don't have to tell them how bad they are. Tell them It's not acceptable to you.

    I had this fear of conflict, never stood up for myself and thought confrontation is the only way to let them know how I feel for which I completely lacked the knack and mental/emotional strength.

    Later, I learnt the hard way that we can always be assertive without being confrontational.You always can say everything without making an angry face or shouting. If there's anybody who should tell others what you deserve is "you". You are the one who must take the responsibility to let others know you deserve respect and for some idiots, you need to teach them "how" as well. On the other hand, if you are not standing up for yourself you are telling them that you are available to be walked over. They do it as long as you let them do it!

    But, it's important to stand up for yourself. If you keep letting this abuse inside you and don't stand up, it is going to kill you from inside, deplete your self esteem and no one including you will be able to build yourself back from there without external help.

    Please put "yourself" first. I know, somehow deep inside, it doesn't sound right. That's how we were brought up - to shut up and keep sacrificing. Others first and that thinking about yourself is being selfish. We saw our mothers, grand mothers doing it and we were taught with living examples since childhood. It takes effort to steer yourself to the thinking that "you" are also important. But, It's worth the effort.

    Is it temporary? It in itself is a huge relief.

    Maybe, it's time you let them know you don't agree to this. For start pick some real big stuff and start trying to make yourself heard.
     
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  5. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for understanding dear. Its really difficult to always handle without anger. Many times I try to not to show anger and covey my things in other ways but it don't stop them. They keep on doing things that irritates me even more. At the end I get too angry but not able to show all. Every setup they have done as per their convenience. They do very little and sing more and I quietly keep doing the things to avoid any fight. Even after that they keep showing how great they are.
     
  6. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hi
    People are born based on their past life merit and demerits.I feel every life is a opportunity to change themselves,for this, one has to go certain stages in life; grow, mature, develop, improve.Many ignore these stages, that results to what you posted.Its just matter of attitude that's it, people ignore it.In other words inspite they know they are wrong they neglect the pratice to be good,the fact is soul records everything what we do in our current life,In every life body changes but soul get transfer and it carries all we did in past life.I think people should adopt spritual way to transform,so that they can purify their soul.By profession I am lecture when ever I get chance,I do explain my students about this,and often we discuss with our closed ones,this way we can have more good people around us.You know, what I do I put in my whatsapp status good quotes, especially Bhagavat Gita Stanza, atleast people get frequently update.I feel we should do what we can,rest God will look after.
    Regards
    Ratna
     
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  7. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    That's a nice thing to do. I too try something on and off. I read holy books like ramayana and geeta but don't know how I leave it in between and keep focussing more on my problems and remain busy with my irritated thoughts. Starting it again is difficult but I do start time and again. Will try to start it once again. What else can I do? Can you explain it more. I do have my interest in this topic and want to purify my soul and stay away from these negative things.
     
  8. RatnaMalliswari

    RatnaMalliswari Gold IL'ite

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    Hi
    Take baby steps in process of doing,think what is the minimum time you can allot for this ,start with that time.You will get habituate of doing it,but do in the same time.Do meditation and also read any book regularly which enhance you.
    Regards
    Ratna
     
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