Hello all, I am a 30 Sikh married male seeking advice from all the ladies out there. Mine was an arranged marriage a year ago. I am a liberal minded guy who has lived at many places as a bachelor with friends from almost any Indian community. In my opinion, eating preferences are best kept individual. I eat non-veg and have no issues with veg. people but they don't happen to feel the same way, and this I realized in a hard way after my marriage. My wife "hates" non-veg. This was an arranged marriage but I told her and her parents clearly that I do eat non-veg but "she need not cook for me". They interpreted the quotes as "I'll leave non-veg after marriage!". They somehow convinced my wife that by persuasion she would make me quit non-veg. In fact, my MIL and FIL had the same history where my MIL had a victory (These things I happened to know later). We got married and came to the US, the land of free (just me and her). Now, my wife first expected me to stop eating non-veg at all. To her, this was a way to show her "my commitment and love" for her, and I am not being sarcastic or anything, this was the case. The result was fights and more fights as I simply told her the fact that this was wrong on her part. Me cooking meat at home was simply out of question in that scenario. Slowly, I won my right to eat outside in restaurants. My wife went to India for vacations, and one day I cooked meat. On a phone conversation she asked me what I had cooked, and I told her the fact. She claims now that I broke her trust. She didnt expect that I would cook meat at home. I have never committed this to her and she acknowledges this, but me not cooking meat for 10 months was like a settlement for her. Now I simply can't take this pressure of being forced not to cook. I don't feel that I belong to my home. I am a good cook and many of my friends were "fans" of my non-veg cooking. If I tell my feelings to her, she accuses that I care more about my friends than her feelings (being selfish), and is insecure about me meeting/inviting my friends at home. That way she has made me a loner in my own house. I am a guy above all taboos and prejudices and have never forced my wife to adopt any particular lifestyle (food, clothes etc.). I don't even want her to cook non-veg for me. I don't consider her a cooking machine anyways, and help her in the kitchen in all possible ways. But she thinks that by leaving her parents for me, she has done the biggest sacrifice and now my concerns are trivial. I have contacted her parents in this regards but they say that compromise has to be made from both sides and so u should leave certain things for her too. My parents are helpless as they are very simple middle class individuals who have put all their lives in building their children's future. All the above said story can be repeated for alcohol. I am not an alcoholic. I am a highly qualified person who graduated from a premier institute in India and just finishing my Ph.D. I take alcohol occassionaly on parties and get togethers and have never been irresponsible about this. I sure don't hate alcohol and don't mind serving it to any guests of mine. I made a commitment to my wife that I would never take alcohol alone at home but only with my friends occasionally. She is not even comfortable with a bottle sitting idle in our home. She infact threw a half bottle of scotch away without consulting me. I feel as if I am a prisoner at home. She is a small town girl, with an IT degree, who has not seen any world beyond her parents. I belong to the same place and so thought that things would be fine. But I have been out form my parents home for last 12 years for my education and job. Now finally the situation is this, she doesn't want any presence of meat and alcohol in our home. She cries a lot. She knew that I took meat and alcohol before marriage. I feel deceived and controlled. My parents are sad about the whole situation. What is a probable solution?