Vbaba and naughty selfies

No, Vbaba is certainly not a typo. We have heard of Sai Baba, Nirmal Baba, Baba Ramdev, Baba Black sheep etc. But who pray is Vbaba? Before I talk about that august personality I must bring before you a criminal case that must be written in golden letters in the annals of human stupidity.

It is the kind of case for which you don’t need Sherlock Holmes to catch the culprit. The dumbest beat cop that ever existed would have done the job perfectly. It is all about a Bangalore techie who decided to bump off his wife when he found that she, a teacher at some institute was having a red hot affair with one of her students.

But before bumping her off he wanted proof of her infidelity to show to his in-laws what a wonderful daughter they had. And so the idea of virtual baba or Vbaba was born.

Gokul Macheri, the genius techie, who like me was a firm believer in the stupidity of Homo Sapiens, created a fake email ID in the name of “Baba” (Arrey baba!!!!!!!!!!! Didn’t he give any fancy firmst name to Baba?)sent messages to his wife introducing himself for an astrologer and asking for nude pictures of her and boyfriend under a shower so that he can use them to strengthen the bond between her and BF.

The lady, the first dumbo in the case, obligingly takes naughty selfies of BF and self and sends them to the Vbaba. With proof in hand, hubby dearest bumps her off one fine day , fakes the death as accident and nobody has any second thought about it afterwards.

But he didn’t stop there and went on to prove that he was a genius and ended up proving that he was number 2 dumbo in the case.

You see our man was obsessed with his friend’s wife, wanted to get rid of amigo Saju Jose and have her all for himself. So he launched a further plan to frame him as a terrorist He set up a page for an imaginary Islamic group on Facebook using his friend ‘s ID and posted Islamic radical diatribes on it including attacks on RSS and Narendra Modi . But no ripples were caused.

Disappointed at not putting his friend on the top of anybody’s hate list, he phoned Delhi’s Indira Gandhi International Airport and an airline office in Bengaluru and made a bomb threat. That put him in police net When they gave him a few friendly taps, he sang like a canary and admitted to everything including the murder of DW.

May be this guy was smart enough to fool a dumb wife with Baba identity. But the attempt to frame Saju Jose showed that he lacked the brains to be a successful baba. How can you balme Saju a Christian for Islamic terrorism? Who was going to buy such a stupid plot, not even someone trying to make a Bollywood potboiler.

Now the real attraction for me here is not Goku or Saju or their spouses but Vbaba. Unknowingly Gokul Macheri has come up with a fantastic way to have the cake and eat it too.Now if you want to take up the flourishing career of a baba you don’t have to appear in public in flowing saffron or white robes or flowing beards or Afro hairdos in which whole lot birds can build nests.

Instead, you can be in your jeans and tees or if you like smart suits. All you have to do is to sit in front of your computer. Create the identity of a baba and maybe open a facebook page in the name of that particular virtual baba. No need to post your photographs. You can be Adhrushya (invisible) baba. Who knows if you are lucky enough even your own wife will become your follower without actually knowing it. That way you can have revenge for being forced to toe her line 24X7.

You can become an agony uncle (agony aunt sounds a bit too feminine isn’t it) for a whole lot of gullible people sorry devotees and dakshina from them can be sent to some numbered Swiss bank account.. (This should make you understand that you should catch only the real big fish).

If devotees crave for personal darshan, charge a huge fee which only the super rich can afford and this would keep the hoi polloi away. Give darshan with a mask on in some remote place and convince the idiots who come for darshan that if you remove the mask your benevolent look will turn malevolent . If they are stupid enough to seek your darshan, they would be dumb enough to believe this too.

And you can continue being an ordinary Joe in the eyes of your relatives, friends and neighbours who unknown to themselves could be your followers enriching you .Who knows as a bonus they might send you naughty selfies too! You might end up being called Selfie Baba.

 

Satchi, the problem with gobbledygook is that we have a tendency to believe anything that is incomprehensible as profound. That is precisely why babas sell like hot cakes. They package their drivel as spirituality.

 

Cindrella thanks a ton.

 

Surekha, you hit the bull's eye. This is the best business nowadays and you can mint crores of rupees.I suggested hiding the identity because you can mint your fortune while leading an absolutely normal life as an ordinary guy. Normalcy has its own joys you see.

 

Viswa the latest in the case is the Christian friend is no brighter. Our techie friend pretended to be a bishop in an email and made him confess that he used to visit sex workers in his wife's absence. I think if they make a movie of the entire affair it could becalled Dumb.Dumber, Dumbest.

Kamalji being a solid businessman can handle investor relations himself.I will handle the Vbaba part of the business.r.