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Varalotti's Speech And Pictures - Part I

Discussion in 'Varalotti Rengasamy's Short & Serial Stories' started by varalotti, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    The Organisers, BAPASI, Mr.Krishnamurthy of NCBH, The two learned men who spoke before me, Dr.Arunagiri and Mr. Nellai Chokkalingam And My Dear Friends,

    Let me make it abundantly clear right in the beginning that I am not a poet. Nor can I boast of an exposure to literature, which my predecessors can confidently do. Neither do I hold a Doctorate, nor am I that learned. I am a mere accountant. A Kanakku Pillai

    We accountants are always grounded in hard realities. Not only our feet but our thoughts are also firmly embedded on the ground, We are overly practical people.

    Imagine a romantic scene. Let’s say it’s the Marina Beach. It’s the evening time. The sun is about to set in the West bathing the water in its reddish hue. A lover is anxiously waiting for his beloved. And there she comes.

    She is clad in a gorgeous Kancheepuram silk saree. Her silver anklets announce her arrival from a distance. She blushes a little on seeing her lover. She looks at him, looks down and then walks rhythmically.

    The lover raises to welcome her borrowing the words of the Emperor Among Poets, our Kambar.
    [FONT=TSCu_Comic]
    பஞ்சியொளிர் விஞ்சுகுளிர் பல்லவ மனுங்கச்
    செஞ்செவிய கஞ்சநிகர் சீறடிய ளாகி
    அஞ்சொலிள மஞ்சையென அன்னமென மின்னும்
    [/FONT]

    I quoted the same verse when I spoke in a college. One of the boys eagerly wrote it down and quoted it verbatim to his lover, with the idea of impressing her.

    And he got slapped on his face. You know why? Kambar uses these poetic lines to describe the demoness Surpanaka. And the boy’s lover was a student of Tamil Literature. The boy learnt the bitter lesson – not to quote anything unless you know the meaning and the context.

    Sorry for the digression.

    Let’s get back to the love scene happening at the Marina Beach. If the lover is an accountant like me he won’t be quoting poetry. He will see his lover coming in. He’ll look for details.

    He will see the gorgeous silk saree and think. “Why this stupid girl is wearing this silk saree to the beach? She will surely insist on going to the water. The saree will be spoiled. And the problem is that the saree can’t be washed. Dry wash or petrol wash will diminish the sheen. When is she going to learn.

    Why the hell does she wear the anklets? She might lose them on the beach sand. Trying to find a needle in a haystack is a breeze compared to searching for a silver anklet in a crowded beach.

    Let’s say an accountant like me hears a film song
    [FONT=TSCu_Comic]
    காதல் கடிதம் தீட்டவே மேகம் எல்லாம் காகிதம்
    வானின் நீலம் கொண்டுவா பேனா மையோ தீர்ந்திடும்

    [/FONT]The lover sings that the whole sky is the stationery for his love letter. And that the ink in his pen will be exhausted soon. So will she please bring the ‘blueness’ of the oceans to write the letter?

    Any other person will be impressed by this beautiful verse. But an accountant will think.

    He will Google and find out that even a low-end ball-point pen bought for Rs.5 is good enough to write for a distance of 3 kilometres or something like 25000 pages.

    With about a dozen of such pens procured at a cost of Rs.60 which is less than the cost of one litre of petrol, the man can write 3,00,000 pages.

    As a writer I am telling you it is impossible to write that much even if you spend all your waking hours all your life writing.

    I am reminded of my friend, a brilliant cost accountant who went to an exotic resort for his honeymoon. His brand new wife wanted to go for shopping.

    As you know the shops in honey-moon locations will sell even the most ordinary items at fancy prices. His wife picked up a bottle of perfume and gave it to her husband.

    The cost accountant looked at the price. A mind boggling Rs.800.

    “800 Rs., darlling for just 125 ml of some perfumed liquid. I am sure that the manufacturing cost of this damned liquid should be hardly Rs.50. The rest is profit, advertisement and overheads.”

    It was their last day of honeymoon and by that time, as it usually happens, the girl was fed up with the accountant’s ways of thinking.

    She did not want to look like a blonde before the salesman in whose presence her husband had uttered that profound statement.

    She fished out a Fifty Rupee note from her hand bag and gave it to her husband.

    “Come on dear, have this. Get me a bottle of this perfume without the profit, advertisement and overheads.”

    Needless to say that was a watershed event signifying the ending of the honey moon and the commencement of married life.

    The poet stands on the ground but his thoughts are elsewhere. He might be seeing a lark flying in the sky and compose a poem on it. On the other hand an accountant stands firmly embedded on the ground looking at the worm and worried about the infection it might unleash on the unsuspecting human beings.

    Please forgive me for my long introduction. I wanted first to establish my credentials as a professional who ekes out his livelihood from the stark realities of money and taxes.

    And with those credentials under my sleeve I tell you books are absolutely essential for a healthy living. And don’t brush aside my words as poetic imagination.

    When our friend meets us somewhere she asks “How are you?” And we reply, “Fine.”

    A single word that describes our current state of being. The word has a deep connotation. According to me it has a four-dimensional meaning.

    (To Be Continued)
     
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  2. vidchakra

    vidchakra Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sridhar sir,
    Wow! Nice speech.. Humorous and at the same time very meaningful...
    I am sure it would have been a big hit with the audience too :)
    I am now waiting for the next part of your speech..

    The photos are great too...
     
  3. SARASVADIVU

    SARASVADIVU Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Sir,

    As usual your subtle satiric humour is sprinkled throughout your speech:
    I'm sure the audience who would have been 'bored to death' by the speeches given by your predecessors in 'Pure Tamil-quoting a lot of literature that the layman can't easily understand- would have surely relished every iota of your mind-boggling speech!!!

    As was your speech your photos too are mind-boggling sir!

    Regards & love,
    Saras
     
  4. sreemanavaneeth

    sreemanavaneeth Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sir,

    Excellent and you have correlated with a poem and a song was amazing sir. You have highlighted the meaning in an unique way sir. Eagerly waiting for the next part. Photos are very bright and nice like your speech.
     
  5. nihasvin

    nihasvin Platinum IL'ite

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    Wow Uncle..Your speech is interesting...I wish i could hear it in casual Tamil and definitely it would be a treat..Please post the videos uncle..Aunty is looking gorgeous and how proudly watching your speech!! :)
     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Varalottiji, enjoyed the humour and the way you have highlighted the different perspectives that a single event or object can evoke. Nice pictures too.
     
  7. rgsrinivasan

    rgsrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    That was a fantastic beginning Sridhar - shows the amount of hours behind it. And very happy to see the young couple in the photos. Waiting to read further. -rgs
     
  8. raji2678

    raji2678 Gold IL'ite

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    Very humourous, and meaningful speech, uncle. The best I liked was the part of the accountant's wife! I am sure that you would have been a super-hit.

    Raji
     
  9. AkilaMani

    AkilaMani Local Champion Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sir,

    A very interesting speech... wish i had been there to listen to it in tamizh. Lovely pics sir!!

    Akila
     
  10. iniyamalar

    iniyamalar Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Varalotti sir,

    Nice to see the pictures and the speech.

    In fact when I saw a poster announcing the book fest I knew that you would be one among the orators.
    Yes, I was in Madurai for a short trip.

    I came to india for a week and I was in Madurai for two days. I was the chief guest for the teacher's day celebration in a school.(BTW, the school is my sister's. So no wonder there.)

    அன்னிக்கு, நாங்கூட மேடைல ஏறிப் பேசினேன். ஊரே கைகொட்டிச் சிரிச்சுச்சு..என்ன செய்யிறது பாசக்காரப்பயபுள்ளைக சொன்னாக்கேட்டாத்தானே?
    அன்னிக்கு அவிங்யகளுக்கு நாந்தேன் படையல்னு முடிவு பண்ணி ஏத்தி விட்டாய்ங்க. இந்த ஆப்புக்காக நா ஃப்ளைட் புடிச்சு இங்கிருந்து போனேன்.
    எப்புடி?
    நாங்கள்ளாம் அடி வாங்குனாலும் அசால்டா வாங்குவோம்ல??

    anyways, waiting for the next part of the speech.
     

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