Valentine's day musings

hemchi · Feb 1, 2008

That was our second valentine's day (just 3 years back)! I had a lot of enthu and lots of plan.
I took permission from my boss and reached home 3 hours earlier...prepared a nice dinner...had got gifts and had even made a romantic scrapbook...and had made a card for him. [Hmm...dont where all those lovey-dovey ideas have gone off my head now?!] And hubby came, we exchanged gifts and let the tv play romantic songs.
I spread out the dinner on the table with roses to decorate apart from the food...and lit around 6 candles. Instructed hubby to turn off all the lights and tv. Hubby made a kind of a face...and said matter-of-factly...how do I distinguish the food items if there's so much darkness. I had to help him by arranging the candles to help him with the food types. He told me that he is a little new to this whole concept and convinced me to let the TV be on, since the romantic songs were still playing. Throughout the dinner, he maintained silence to my surprise. I was wondering what went wrong...and had my dinner too quietly. When asked him if the food was not good..he said it was excellent! :confused2:
The moment I finished my dinner...hubby started speaking....'Shall I turn the lights ON atleast NOW?!!'...and he jumped to the switch.
Needless to say...that was the first and last candle-light dinner we've had!

Anybody out there to share your experiences???

Aarushi · Feb 2, 2008

Hi Hemchi,

Your story is just soooo cute!! I couldn't help smiling and laughing when I read it!!

In our case, what we do is put on the lights in a nearby room so that we do have some light (apart from the candles)...

I remember a valentine's day 2 years back...The doctor had just confirmed that morning that I was pregnant ...to celebrate both the occasions, we went to an italian restaurant for dinner(we were trying it for the first time)...the food was fantastic and there was a nice romantic atmosphere with soft light and candles on the tables...had a wonderful time...

And then when we came out, we had the most amazing surprise...it was SNOWING!!!! :yes: Since we don't get much snow here, it was a lovely, wonderful moment...We spend a few minutes in the snow and then went back home happy..:-D

love,
Aarushi

kanaka · Feb 4, 2008

I seriously think it is the generation gap that makes me feel this way.

Among the youth it's a mania. Wasting money on cards. Do we affirm our affection to anyone by a public proclamation. Love, affection -they are very subtle for exhibitionism . kanaka

Aarushi · Feb 5, 2008

Hi Kanaka,

I do not see any harm if people want to proclaim their love in public. Holding hands, peck on the cheek, gifting flowers, cake or card or any other romantic gift...I fail to see what negative is there about any of this. None of this needs to be expensive or lavish.

I also believe that instead of subtlety all the time, people in general should be more open in showing their affection. In all kinds of relationships.

For example, I wish my parents hugged me more and told me more often how much I mean to them. Yes, I know in my heart that they love me a lot but when my dad/mom hug me after a long absence, the happiness I feel in my heart on meeting them more than doubles and triples. Nowadays I give both of them a kiss :kiss when I see them at the airport and it makes them shy but at the same time, they look very happy at my public display of affection...Again, I know that my husband loves me but when he surprises me with a single red rose while we are at the farmer's market, it makes me feel so cherished.

Married relations could also do with a healthy dose of open affection. Yes, the caring when you are sick or being there when you need somebody does mean a lot...but if one added to this, a few open declarations of love, life would be much happier for the people concerned. After all who does not like being told that they are loved... "Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishaara ho gaya" is all fine but sometimes being told verbally that you are loved is also important in making a person's happier...when I pushed my dad in giving my mom her favorite flowers on their anniversary, the happiness on her face was unmistakable. :thumbsup

I am in fact surprised why it is so awkward for people to see affection being displayed openly? Even worse, sometimes there is a lot of opposition..why is that? I never see anybody protesting when girls/women are being shamelessly eve teased or harassed day in and day out 365 days a year. But during Valentine's Day, I often hear on the news about the Bajrang Dal/Shiv Sena (or any other similar) moral police vandalizing stores, terrorizing innocent couples etc. mg:

I feel in India if you harass a woman in public, it is more acceptable than if a couple walks on the road holding hands.

Lastly, don't we celebrate all the major festivals in India? Even though they are also heavily marketed? Do we never celebrate any special occasion in our lives? By calling friends over, having a pooja, giving gifts etc? Then why make an exception of one of the most important bond of all, the romantic love between two people. :idontgetit:

I think the V-day is a lovely occasion to tell your loved one how much he/she means to you and make him/her happy.

If subtlety works for you, then that's the way to go, but if someone really want to celebrate V day, then why not! After all the card and flowers industry must also be giving jobs to thousands...

If my thoughts are too strong for you, then please forgive me...my intention is not to hurt you but give an explanation as to why I feel our society in general needs to be more open and less restrictive.

regards,
Aarushi

padmavathi m · Feb 5, 2008

hi aarushi, hemchi,

i love to celebrate :bananaValentine's day because my husband's birthday fall on the same day 14th feb.
not only me who celebrate it but even my kids (2 daughters) like to celebrate valentine's day since its their dad's b'day.banana:banana
now its almost 13 years since we got married. i have hardly heard anybody talking about V'day 13 years back. but now whole world is celebrating Valentine's day.
there is nothing harm in expressing love towards your dear ones. i feel in today's life style we need such days. otherwise we never have the opportunity to express.
i sometimes long for such days, since my hubby is in IT industry he has no time for his wife and kids. atleast on these occassions he tries to come home early. we go out for dinner. thats it.

anyhow i wish my husband a very happy birthday on the Valentine's day
a happy Valentine's day to everyone of you in IL

Arunarc · Feb 5, 2008

Hello Aarushi
hatsoff:hatsoffI just enjoyed reading this, and couldn't stop myself from repling to this post. You are right it is not necessary that you should show your love just on some particular day, anyday is Valentine day. To tell a person that you love her/he any day or any time is special. And I really enjoy the Valentine day. I love to watch the lovely young people enjoying themself and having fun and I really encourage this. My son is a teen and being a mother every year I ask him, what man you don't have a valentine?? I don't do much on Valentine day but will go out for dinner, My Dh doesn't like candle light dinners and all incase if i do so eagerly waiting when to on the light.Big LaughBig Laugh

Aarushi said: ↑

Hi Kanaka,

I do not see any harm if people want to proclaim their love in public. Holding hands, peck on the cheek, gifting flowers, cake or card or any other romantic gift...I fail to see what negative is there about any of this. None of this needs to be expensive or lavish.

I also believe that instead of subtlety all the time, people in general should be more open in showing their affection. In all kinds of relationships.

For example, I wish my parents hugged me more and told me more often how much I mean to them. Yes, I know in my heart that they love me a lot but when my dad/mom hug me after a long absence, the happiness I feel in my heart on meeting them more than doubles and triples. Nowadays I give both of them a kiss :kiss when I see them at the airport and it makes them shy but at the same time, they look very happy at my public display of affection...Again, I know that my husband loves me but when he surprises me with a single red rose while we are at the farmer's market, it makes me feel so cherished.

Married relations could also do with a healthy dose of open affection. Yes, the caring when you are sick or being there when you need somebody does mean a lot...but if one added to this, a few open declarations of love, life would be much happier for the people concerned. After all who does not like being told that they are loved... "Aankhon hi aankhon mein ishaara ho gaya" is all fine but sometimes being told verbally that you are loved is also important in making a person's happier...when I pushed my dad in giving my mom her favorite flowers on their anniversary, the happiness on her face was unmistakable. :thumbsup

I am in fact surprised why it is so awkward for people to see affection being displayed openly? Even worse, sometimes there is a lot of opposition..why is that? I never see anybody protesting when girls/women are being shamelessly eve teased or harassed day in and day out 365 days a year. But during Valentine's Day, I often hear on the news about the Bajrang Dal/Shiv Sena (or any other similar) moral police vandalizing stores, terrorizing innocent couples etc. mg:

I feel in India if you harass a woman in public, it is more acceptable than if a couple walks on the road holding hands.

Lastly, don't we celebrate all the major festivals in India? Even though they are also heavily marketed? Do we never celebrate any special occasion in our lives? By calling friends over, having a pooja, giving gifts etc? Then why make an exception of one of the most important bond of all, the romantic love between two people. :idontgetit:

I think the V-day is a lovely occasion to tell your loved one how much he/she means to you and make him/her happy.

If subtlety works for you, then that's the way to go, but if someone really want to celebrate V day, then why not! After all the card and flowers industry must also be giving jobs to thousands...

If my thoughts are too strong for you, then please forgive me...my intention is not to hurt you but give an explanation as to why I feel our society in general needs to be more open and less restrictive.

regards,
Aarushi
Click to expand...

Aarushi · Feb 6, 2008

Dear Aruna,

Thanks for your note of support for Valentine's day! :kiss Your description of candle light dinners in your house is so funny....:queen I agree, its is really nice to see couples showing their love...it makes me believe in love and gives a warm fuzzy feeling that all is right with the world...

Here's to love, luck and happiness in all ILites lives!!:cheers

love,
Aarushi

Aarushi · Feb 6, 2008

Hi Padma,

That's such a sweet tradition you have in your family!! Feb must be a happy month in your house!!

Enjoy your day and wish your hubby a Wonderful Birthday from IL!!

Love,
Aarushi

hemchi · Feb 6, 2008

Thanks Aarushi(its a cute name) and others for sharing your experiences.

Aruna, you are such a sport...asking your son about his valentine.
Padmavathi...you have a valentine-born hubby. That's so cute.
Kanaka...yes sometimes I do agree that youth(especially college kids) goes frenzy and buys a lot of cards, etc...considering the same red rose costing upto Rs.25 on that particular day! And as a couple we would not exchange the cards or roses in public right? Expressing love in a nice-acceptable manner is still good.

My hubby somehow does not like to eat out..and he loves home-made food. So I try to do some special cooking for him on such days. Though I would prefer to go out sometimes..hmm!

And yes Aarushi, as you said...seeing love being expressed openly in a nice manner fills me with positive thoughts.

I wish everybody on IL a very Happy Valentine's day!

[Now...this wish goes out to to single people as well...I remember Dil to paagal hein movie...wherein Madhuri buys romantic things for herself and wishes for love]