Hi all, my post could be random and more of a venting kind. I’m in late 30’s married and w kids, still feels like I haven’t lived well, or being loved, or feel content w a partner. Is unconditional love deprived by all women. Or is it just me, after divorce I felt, I finally met love of my life. I was again mistaken, feels like I will never find love and this life is just over. Is love an adjustment, or fulfilled w conditions to be called as, what’s the deeper meaning of love. Is it one cannot live without other. How come I never connected that deep w my partner. What’s missing, why am I not worth loving. We have two kids together and often fight over differences. I almost gave up, I shall accept him the way he is. No efforts from his side, when I try it feels like I’m trying too hard. It should be natural isn’t it to love or to be loved. Is marriage the reason for no love, u loose the connection w fights. But even before fights started, he never showed expression of love, it was like go with the flow kind. No Words “I love u” which I always yearned to hear, no hugs after coming home from work, no flowers, no dates, no physical binding like touching, a kiss hear and there maybe when In no fighting mode. I used to be the one who always showed, after many rejections I stopped from my end too. Is there a fix to this.. to me feels like he cannot love anyone, too selfish and even words he uses very scanty. Shows extreme love towards his mum dad siblings for them he has abundant. When it comes to me he has certain limitations. I have good looks and Carry myself well when I go out, at home I’m v casual care much on what I wear or how I look, does all this matter. Earlier I used to think he must be impotent to be not having feelings as to he never initiates, but after drunk he would convince me to get it when I’m least in the mood after his bad drinking episode. This viscous cycle is never ending. I Must stop expecting any change and accept he’s going to be like this for the rest of his life. I still feel could be some health related, he denies to accept or get checked. As he only does sx to get it done for his pleasure and rest what woman seeks from a man is all irrelevant to him. I tried telling many times I need connection and love to be into it, seems like he just doesn’t care. I am still struggling to find peace in the relationship. While looking at kids just doing the needful in daily basis. Life has become monotonous w same routine and no loving moments to cherish. A love less marriage here I am, again. What is a mans perspective in this, wouldn’t he want to satisfy his wife, doesn’t it touch his ego in this matter, for other things shows full of ego. Is he taking me for granted. Or he is just not into me.