Useless Friendship!

Hi Proud_Indian,

As Aruna said I feel you can mail or even talk to them. Atleast from your side if you have considered them as your true friend, just be open to them and talk to them. Tell them how bad you feel and try to find the reason for such behaviour. This is just a chance to find yourself if there is anything wrong from your side. Even after this they continue to ignore you, pls you too ignore them. They are not worth for your friendship.

There are lots and lots of people around you. Only if we talk to more and more new people we will know how different everyone is. Take the positive from everyone and enjoy with the new friends. We have to be true from our side. That can be done for sure.

 

Hi Proud_Indian
I agree with vennelaa.. these friends are not worth worrying about. Ignore them and make new friends. Dont think you are suffering cos you are not. You have a beautiful life and while I do agree that it is nice to have friends, it is definitely not pleasant to have friends who dont reciprocate.
Why dont you get back in touch with your other classmates/collegemates/roommates etc and create a new circle? You deserve better friends :thumbsup

 

Dear Proud_Indian,

There is no one to blame in the scenario that you have just described in your post.

You were friends by CIRCUMSTANCE and not by CHOICE.

You mentioned that the rest of the group still are in touch but you feel that you are being distanced.May be they do not share that kind of rapport with you as you would like to but when you were all staying together you gelled well as room-mates.Not all room-mates tend to become friends in the long run though you might have enjoyed staying with them.

This kind of friendship is difficult to last because if you had met the same bunch of people in your college days, when you had load of people around ,you would have opted to remain as acquaintances.I can understand the pain you are going through trying to fathom how someone can be so ungrateful after what you have done to them.Remember, you have helped them because you were also expecting them to reciprocate your feelings and love you.You also wanted someone to be around you.

Well, your friends are sending clear signs that the bond you guys shared once upon a time has lost some charm in their lives now since they are busy with their own personal lives.It is not an insult at you but it only means that time and distance has created a rift.I would suggest you to let go off any ill-feelings towards them and act normal.Do not go beyond your reach to appease them.You are probably treating this as your failure to bond with people but believe me the sooner you come to terms and be open to embrace new friendships in your life the better.People change over a period a time.Probably they have different circle of friends now.May be they belong to a different clique now like you would if you start to interact more socially and not ponder why your old roommates act so cold.

It is very unlikely that your friends are jealous of your success [ well you would know better].It is just that everybody has moved on and from your post looks like you feel very aloof now unable to figure out where you had gone wrong.You will find new friends who will bond now with you for what you are now.

I might sound harsh but think pragmatically from all angles.May be they have always treated you as a roommate and you showered them so much love and affection treating them as friends.There is nothing wrong with you.It is just that you will find people of your mindset who will love you unconditionally but there is no point in throwing oneself on someone who does not appreciate you for what you are.

 

Hi,

You should ignore such type of friends . I have also faced such type of situation. I also starting ignoring my friend and made new circle.

 

Hi Proud Indian,

I don't think they were your real friends at any time. You were taken for a ride. If they were true friends they would have atleast offered to share expenses and everything with you when you were staying together. How come you did not realize it? You are a clever and helpful girl but you have overlooked some simple facts of life. Create new friends and enjoy life.

Regards,
Abha.

 

hey proud indian, as everyone has said, it is just not worthy for you to try and get back those friends. When you "try", it totally beats the very meaning of friendship which should come naturally. as is said, "birds of the same feather flock together". so in all probability there is something common between them which they would like to share with each other, while you stand apart in that particular aspect.

let me tell you, i also have never been lucky in the matter of friendship. i have always been surrounded by selfish people. i too have gone out of my way helping people around. but the so called friends dont even bother to pick phone calls, or return calls. so i have totally written off such friends and ignored them thinking that they are not worthy of my friendship. i still have people around me who come to me when they need help, i go all out for them but then once its done, they are just nowhere around.
These days there is no value for true friendship - thats the sad reality ProudIndian. We need to be smart not to trust everyone.

 

That's ok. Past is past.

Next time when you make friends, please look past what they make and what you make. That may have been the crux of the issue in your story.

Your post did not mention whether they truly could not afford to pay their share or was it you who kind of took it upon yourself to pay their share.

People make better friends as equals no matter their financial abilities. Financial indebtedness (even if pardoned) leaves a bad taste among friends and sometimes make them avoid people who they feel indebted to.

 

Hi proud_indian,
Don't worry,
Leave them and dont think about them in your life ,make new friends, and be careful while making friendship.