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Us Citizenship And Green Card Related.

Discussion in 'Immigration Matters' started by EagerForInfo, Jan 28, 2022.

  1. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Ok maybe new year magic or whatever it is I’ve been hearing all month from Neighbhors ,friends that even before marriage also my husband wanted a citizen wife and married me in a week. So that is confirmed.

    But more troubling is he does not even treat me well. In laws have a history of ill treating daughter in laws. Along with the men who ill treat new bride ( even after she becomes old)

    I am hoping I can stay in this marriage for few more years till kids are grown up ( I have my job so believe me everyone I am not a parasite on him ). How can I avoid him not treating me well.


    And moreover how do I avoid him bringing his family members parents on green cards when the jerk does not even treat me or my parents well.


    What is the solution out of this ? The jerks Dad that is my father in law has asked for my pan card in India. Why the heck does he need my pan card. Luckily I don’t have one and never applied for one.

    what is the solution out of preventing his parents from getting green cards. I called the lawyer she said she can’t do anything. There must be a solution

    And believe me I am more beautiful than any lady in his family. They have no right to ill treat me. Including my husband.

    no way can I tolerate that jerks family from getting green cards THROUGH ME. HELP ME !!

    should I demand he revokes his citizenship and greencard and we should go to India. What is the solution ?? for every problem there will be a solution guess that is the hope that is keeping me going till now
     
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  2. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    You say you are willing to stay in this marriage till kids grow up. Are you sure that you will be able to tolerate the crap he and his parents throw at you? Are you sure you want to your kids to grow up in a toxic environment? It will affect them badly if you stayed . If you have plans of eventually separating then why not do it now ? The kids would be in a less toxic environment. You will be spared of the things you are exposed to and don't have to worry about his family members getting green card through you.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2022
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  3. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Even if I leave also he is already a citizen through me. He can easily apply for his family. I guess I am not ready to the stigma of a divorced women even though I’m already living like one. Moreover not sure what future will be like. All my relatives are old. I have no support. My father has heart disease. Don’t want to add to their issues
     
  4. curlytweethere

    curlytweethere Platinum IL'ite

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    If he is already a citizen why is he pestering you for documents? I would be wary of giving any especially financial records pan card etc. Why do they need your pan card for visa processing? Even if financial docs are required it will be form 16 or w2. Are they trying to buy something or take a loan?
    Do not worry about your relatives. If you talk to your parents they will understand infact it will be a relief for them that you are out of your misery. It might seem that your decision to separate might hurt them trust me they will be relieved that you stood up for yourself and that you can take care of yourself and your kids. It took 3 years for me to officially file for divorce after living separately. It was the confusion in me that took 3 years but took only up to two months to convince my parents. My divorce case is going on for past 4 years but never once have they felt that I shouldn't have taken that decision.
     
  5. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    Unless you stand up for yourself, nothing will change!
     
  6. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Feel free to keep writing, keep venting. Get it out of your system.

    For legal advice, may i suggest registering for forum.freeadvice.com. They will give more legal-oriented advice, but may not understand Indian culture as well.

    Just an option.
     
  7. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you for being there for me and listening to me vent. Thank you for the forum too. Will look for answers there too.
     
  8. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Its not easy to revoke his citizenship. https://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/can-i-have-my-husband-s-citizenship-revoked--1700594.html

    Ask him to move out if he wants to bring anybody home without your permission. Be firm.

    Talking, explaining, venting, going after him to him, wont help you in anyway. Detach, and be practical. Dont move out of your home. Consult lawyer to know your legal rights. It will help you even if you not ready for your decision. Now you need actions, not emotions or words.

    If there is no physical abuse and if you cant take a decision, wait till you are ready. Now you are wasting your emotional energy by considering him as husband and fighting unimportant wars. The best medicine now is indifference. But when you have to say something, be firm, sound neutral and convey the message. Limit talk to only a few sentence. Lecturing wont help. It will drive him away.

    So be practical. Consider him as someone there for kids, but not for you. Treat him as parent of kids and share only common topics and not your personal stuff. If there is any physical abuse, seek help. If there is any other problems due to personality disorder or other issues, protect yourself.

    No one can help you until you decide to help yourself.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2022
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