Hi all I am once again at loggerheads...yesterday situation became so worse because of mil..me n my h were fighting and she ran towards me calling h name..I just signalled back off with my hands..that's it she started screaming in abusive language in short complete character assassination which no girl would like to hear..I too was so angry that I sat there saying tell whatever you want to..told h to shut her up..he started manhandling her and when I tried recording the scene he threw my phone and manhandled me as well so I kicked him..all this front of my baby..I told I 'll call police and he took me forcibly to our room and locked the door...they were fighting...I locked the door and went to sleep with lo Morning he came and asked me of my decision..I told am booking tickets to mom place today and 'll leave with baby..he told your wish is mine whatever decision you take I ll follow..I told I can't.live with this female anymore..I and baby would live in a home..you rent one more for you both as this state is new to her and she doesn't know language or go wherever you want...he told OK.. Iam leaving tonight..is my decision OK girls?
Your problem is not quite clear though. Looking at your other problems with MIL, you are right. Your decision to leave her is also right. You can't live with her, unless your H could give you physical and emotional protection to you and the child from his abusive mother. He must prove himself to be the husband and the father of the kid before he shares the house with you. Until then, you rent a house. Keep a maid. Bring your parents to the new house if possible at least for the initial period. Start living independently on your own. Ask H to visit whenever he wants to visit. But restrict him from the child's matters until he proves to be a good husband/dad. Don't allow him to take the child on his own. Focus on your career, and other matters of life. So that you will slowly forget this mess. Your husband will come around the moment he misses his life. He will understand that his life is not under his mom's feet but with the family he created. Until he realize this, there is no justice for you or the child at his place.
No. I'm sorry it came to this - it is brilliant thst you ignored your MIL, but when your husband is standing up for you, there is no reason to stoop low and record it. You need to take the high road. Always. And why kick your husband and create a scene when he was standing up for you? you seem to have started out quite well ignoring your mil... Leaving your marital home isn't a solution either. What about your job? I was under the impression that your MIL had a seperate home and was staying with your temporarilym isn't that right? Do not seperate from your husband unless he is the one abusing you. And while you are at it, do not abuse your husband either. Enough that your mil is acting like a brat. No reason got you to follow her suit. Apologise unreservedly to your husband for your particular behaviour and state clearly that you wish to live with him; however you can't stand his mum treating you like this. Either she cleans up her and act and treats you wih respect or she leaves. absolutely no reason to break up your family unit. It is like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
@guesshoo, her husband verbally says that he is with her, but when it comes to materializing his word, he is no better than any other momma's boy. From all her posts, it is clear he is sitting there as a silent spectator, and enabling his mom to abuse her. But at the end, he is great at pacifying her with love and emotions. That's not what she wants, right? She wants him to protect her from the abuses right away, and ensure there is no further abuse from his folks. That's the beauty of any husband. I think the prolonged hatred, and abuse has made her to stoop too low, as a matter of self protection. This happens.
OP....I agree with Guesshoo here. The nasty woman and probably your hormones are turning you into this mess.There was no reason to behave like this with some one who was trying to protect you. I would say ...apologize and hug and make up with him .Let him know his mother is turning you like this and soon he will have two to handle. Op ...I always believe that nasty insecure people like your mil do not change .You can let them run the home or whatever....they will never be happy and not let others be happy. I would cut out a person completely if she objected to my breast feeding my child.That is a nasty thing to do and only a sick demented grandmother can do it to her grandchild . Tell your husband you want a home away from the nastiness that his mother brings. Take two small places close by ...even two single bedroom apartments will do. Stay with your child in one and husband .Let mil stay in the other and let your husband take care of her. Better still ...tell sil to take her .After all...she is the one she loves.She is the one whose marriage she is not hell bent on breaking.
OP, if you want to continue your married life, my suggestion is not to leave your marital home. is the problem your husband? Think long and hard before you answer. If the answer is no, then, getting out of that marital home may or maynot change things. I havent followed your other posts but if your MIL is abusing you, is there a way to send her away? Most men, when left alone with their moms dont realize the worth of their wives. Thats just my opinion.
Dear @SGBV @guesshoo @yellowmango Thanks for the responses..I forgot my mail Id and password so created a new account to get in touch and update the events.. I came back to my mom's place..before coming back I searched for a home nearby and told h that me n baby will live in it while he can decide what he has to do..he was helping me out and we finally found one..mil was at her worst..she has already packed her bags to leave to her native and was complaining to sil about us..when h told that she needn't go and that we are working on two homes concept she abused him saying I won't stay here..I ll go to native and if relatives ask they ll spit on your face for being ungrateful son..( they don't have a home anywhere. So had to rent there).. With this I came back with my infant all alone in the night..this was the most painful experience I ever had..next day sil calls and supported me saying she will send mil back to native..she told mil is not listening to anybody..now h is making arrangements to settle her there @guessho let me be clear mil lives with us..we all live in my city of posting in my home..there is no concept of in-laws place..and h always forces me to adjust with her..he tells all mil are that way you should learn to ignore..you should not have married etc etc..ignore how much..sil was v clear..he always hid facts about her and felt guilty for standing up for me..instead he covered up abuses by pacifying me..I am weak emotionally and physically.. Now am afraid really afraid..he calls me but we talk only one sentence..my mil will put tons of guilt on his head before leaving..am afraid will the love we had would die out? I love him..please let me know how I would get past this phase without losing my self respect??
