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Upset With In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Hana2018, Jun 11, 2020.

  1. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    Last week during my doctor visit they had found a lump in my neck. I called my mil to tell her that we aren't sure anything yet, after further tests and observations, I will get to know whether have to go under surgery or not. So I asked her can she come here for a few months in case of surgery. To my shock she told me your last co-sis is carrying with 5 months we haven't told this to many people yet just from today we started telling everyone. I will have to see if I can or not due date is coming and after that, so many rituals will be there. I know for sure co-sis is not going to come for at least 6-8 months after having a baby if she leaving at 7th month. I knew that MIL is not going to come here for sure, I just wanted to test them for one last time and wanted to show DH how they are. I hate to see ILs always supporting the last son. Their words & behaviors never affected me. But this time I am upset. mil treats co-sis like a princes, doing all chores for her even if she is sick. Whenever co-sis goes to her native for months together mil goes to their house every alternate day to cook, do laundry. When inlaws were here almost 2 years back my last bil got dengue so they preponed their flight 2 weeks and went back to India to take care of bil as if there is no one in India to help them.

    Inlaws are self-sufficient they are not dependent on 3 sons. As I know they did not expect any support from any of their sons. Since they don't ask for money/any financial support so DH took care of whenever there is something big expenditures like F-Law's heart surgery twice, changing house appliances, furniture, paying full years tv cable, internet, phone charges in advance. I am ok with these. DH is the 1st son no one's favorite they treat him like a stepchild because MIL don't like FIL & DH got FIL features & also DH is self-made man, very straight forward, practical, 2nd son(live in a different city) FIL favorite & the last son(live in the same city but 2hrs far from ils) is MIL favorite. FIL is a kind of narcissist, MIL is manipulative, liar, jealousy. In-laws were happy for our success or not even supported us emotionally. I hate to see mil's blind love & always favoring only one son.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    You know what your MIL is like. Why keep expecting her to change? And if she has such a negative attitude towards your family what is the point of calling her for “help”?
    I would be thankful that they are themselves keeping a distance. You can’t change her behavior, only your reaction.
     
  3. Hana2018

    Hana2018 Bronze IL'ite

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    True. But I thought at least she will emotionally support at this time at least for words.
     
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  4. Rumi

    Rumi New IL'ite

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    Sometimes, its best to not keep expectations to avoid disappointments like this.
     
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