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upset to hear my hubby searching for women !!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by lovely26, Jul 16, 2010.

  1. lovely26

    lovely26 New IL'ite

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    Hi!!!!!!!!!


    Friends

    Yesterday my hubby had called me i spoke to him for the last time.He told me that to continue his generation he has to get re marriage so i told continue whatever you want u do. i don't have any problem.And even he said that i'll not ask you to give our kid to me so i said since he is not well he always fall ill you don't want him if he was alright everybody wanted him.I know i have to lead life without him even though i have soft corner for him when he said i have to get married i was upset for a second again i continue.What kind of human being na.they are just bothered about there wellbeing ruining others life.I'm strong ,sometimes i feel bad about my kid even though his papa is alive he has to live without his love and feel it's so unfair to my kid.But his papa already searching for another women to get married strange but true.

    I have to comeout from this tragedy please friends you all help me to become more stronger and to bear all this obstacles in my life.
     
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  2. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    If you are divorced why do you want to have contacts with him? Don't cause self injury by talking to him.
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  3. ArchanaP

    ArchanaP Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Lovely,

    Canwait is right. Do not answer his phone calls. It's for your good. The more you talk to him/think about him, the more it's difficult for you to come out of the past. Yes, it's very unfortunate for you and your son to suffer for your husband's mistakes. But it's time for you to come out of it and move on. I know it's easier said than done, but you got to try to move on. Try hard not think about the past. Spend as much time as possible with your son. Children are the best medicine to heal. Try not to go into past, but look forward for the future. I am sure you will find peace somewhere down the line. It's your life and do not let it go waste for worthless people.
     
  4. Dilchahtahai

    Dilchahtahai Senior IL'ite

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    I find it a little funny. If you guys are divorced, the marriage is over. Then why is he calling you to tell you he has to get remarried and this is for continuation of their family? To rub salt into the injury he gave you? And he managed to do that by making you upset..
    And here you are getting upset about the fact that he is getting remarried.. Honestly, if I have gone to the extent of filing for a divorce with my spouse, I would be so full of negative emotions that I would not call him to inform him of my future plans, of all the things..
    It is very hard to go and live your life without something or someone you are used to and I fully empathize with you on that part.. However, you would have to stop taking his calls if this is how it upsets you. At least till the time you have reached a point where it begets no emotions in you..
     
  5. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Some men do this stupid stuff like going back to someone in past but they are not starting anyting positive...their minds are just jumping around like rabbits. My guess is he is having a hard time finding someone who wants him so he revisited you in some fit of idiosy. Then to add to the insult, he talks as if his living son is not going to continue the line.

    Be strong and just let this all fly over your head like a black cloud and be gone. It's just mind games.

    I checked another of your posts about you son.....is his epilepsy not under control yet? You need to get that under control so he has a normal life. My friend's husband is an epileptic and he just got under control from a doctor in Delhi last year (previously untreated....a long story). He had to take some really strong stuff for the first month or so until they stopped entirely and then he tapered off, got a great new job and sees a great future.
     
  6. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Why does he has to say to you that to continue his generation he wants to remarry. Again even if you are divorced he has to be involved somewhat in kids life. Oh it is really shameful he can just leave you and kid and never enquire about your wellbeing and kids. His duty towards kid is also equal after divorce, morally and otherwise....But not many understand.. I can understand he not seeing kid daily or weekly but periodically he has to be aware of his kids wellfare and how the kid is.

    I can understand your feeling completely. You are a great mom and a great person .God will look after your wellbeing..

     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010
  7. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Seems like both of you are either confused or dont know how to handle this separation of yours...

    First of all he doesnt have to get married to continue his generation.. HE ALREADY HAS A KID with YOU (Incase if you both forgot)

    Second...When he told about his second marriage, instead of getting worked up on his plans, you should have reminded him about how his thought of continuing future generations is safe..i.e your kid...so you should have retorted back replying, dont give that reason of generations crap...if you want to get married and you need a woman/companion..do so..I dont care...but dont make silly reasons...as its quite hillarious:biglaugh:biglaughbecause you are not taking responsibility of your own son, and you are ready to reproduce some more:crazy


    Lovely girl...you really have to buildupon your self confidence and self respect. How could you let him walk all over you inspite of you both being separated. Next time if he calls, ask if its about your kid, if not..simply hangup....dont even entertain his calls. If he wants to meet his kid, only then talk to him. Period. You have to start keeping yourself busy. Really busy..might be take a vacation or go some place with your kid. Or invite everyone to your house for a small get together, celebrate your separation because I dont see any point in being with a man who doesnt care for his sick kid..he is such heartless..arent you glad you are not with him...look at the bright side of the things always...wht if he had put up strong battle for custody and you know he doesnt take care for the kid, how painful it would have been.but atelast he just gave up the custody too..isnt it good for you and the kid? atleast you shouldnt have to be scared about whether your kid is being given the right attention or not or medical help when needed or not..So think positive and be happy for what you have.,...dont dig past..its waste of time
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. mapleleaf

    mapleleaf Silver IL'ite

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    Don't let his search for other women sting you, instead feel sorry for the woman who is going to marry such a selfish man. Thank your stars that you do not have to deal with such a man anymore and that you can move forward without somebody bringing you down.
    He probably gets some kind of pleasure in seeing you worked up and upset that he is able to move ahead with his next wedding plans. Like the others suggested stop having any communication with him, but if accidentaly there is a communication and he tries to rub his marriage on you again then openly express pity over whoever he is going to marry, that should pour water over his big head.
     
  9. Visu2k

    Visu2k Gold IL'ite

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    You know what, he is just playing with your emotions. He just wants to poke you and upset you. Any sensible lady would first want to investigate about you and he also need to say why he completely left your son to you. No sensible person would be satisfied just by listening one side of the story. So this way you can be sure if he really marries someone it is because he fooled them into marrying him. By doing so he will only lead a fake life built on lies. Sentence like "Karma will come to bite" didn't become popular for no reason.

    Get your son treated for his condition. Consult good doctors and I heard that Hosmat hospital does have some very good neurophysicians who can help you.

    You continue with your life and get yourself engaged in activities that you like. Take your son to places on weekends and holidays. There are good places in bangalore to move around (like last week we went to bannerghatta national forest). You are a strong lady and it is not easy to overcome the pain and hurt so fast, become independent and find yourself a job. Really your dear ones should be really proud of you!
     
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2010

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