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updates on MIL

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by deepideepi, Mar 14, 2015.

  1. twinklingstar

    twinklingstar Gold IL'ite

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    have not red all the posts as m shakehead but still this is good place for really worried people to vent and become Chillout!
     
  2. JustMyself

    JustMyself Gold IL'ite

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    This is NOT entirely correct, as the chromosomes responsible to determine sex is only 1 out of 23 pairs in humans.. Rest of the 22 chromosomes determine the body features and characters of the child as well.

    Regards,
    JM
     
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  3. RedFlower

    RedFlower Silver IL'ite

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    My MIL has come and is here for days. I expected a big fight will be triggered for each and every action of mine. Since she was avoiding me on phone for the past one month, my FIL was acting as an agent between us. But I ignored that set up and
    started asking her casually what to do for the next meal. She replied and it went on smoothly. Till my FIL(FIL had to go to BIL's house) is in our house, she was shouting at him and I was out of coverage for her bad behavior.:hide:

    When I remove me from the scene and see her as a person, she always wants somebody to bear her shoutings and scoldings. After all the shoutings, she ll come back and talk as if nothing has happened. And FIL has been the target till our marriage.(I am the first DIL of the house) He rarely shouts back. MIL would scold him even everything is going smooth. Even now, she is here with my SIL's son, who is just 2 years and would shout that innocent little boy too, if he happened to do anything wrong.

    But I never ever been in this kind of 'always shouting/scolding' environment. My parents, especially mom is so quiet, knows when to talk and when not to talk and is so sensible.

    So in the initial days, I felt this as a big torcher. It was not even a month after my marriage, When I came back from office, she used to say, 'periya collector vela pathuttu varanga...'(Ohh... You coming home after doing a big collector job)
    DH, being a typical Indian son, cant withstand a word about his mom. The behavior of my MIL coupled with relationship with DH, which is yet to get matured made me crazy.:oops:

    But when I look back all these and analyse...She is shouting and commenting at everyone, not only me. So I cant see this as a MIL-DIL issue... it is more of her personality problem...

    When she shouts at me, DH doesnt see anything wrong. DH would say she is elder and you have to obey to what ever she says and would blast at me before everyone.

    When MIL shouts at FIL, DH would feel how poor his dad is and why is mom shouting at him often. DH just feels that way but would never say a word against his mom.

    Now this time, when MIL started her things against DH on some instances, he couldnt bear her and started shouting back.

    MIL is now 55 years and celebrated 35th wedding anniversary 3 months back. She has been this way for this long. If my mom behaves the same way... me, my sister and dad would not be talking and would go silent with her. She would start feeling bad and would stop. This applies to everybody in my home. But here neither FIL nor any of her children arent ready to take any steps to correct her till now.
    Now I am used with her high decibel shouting and know how to ignore her. I sometimes direct her to my DH. So when FIL is not with us, DH is the new target.:biglaugh

    In this 2 years of married life, DH has become understandable. We have developed new language of love and we have some signs of expression that we do even everybody is around.

    Though I am adjusting with everything, I cant withstand certain things. She is extending her stay. Dont know when she is startingg... Witsend
     
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