Cliques, backbiting, backstabbing, gossip, giving unsolicited advice to those perceived as “juniors”, wanting to know too much personal details……
Not every one of things will necessarily happen everywhere, just listing the possibilities from experience. It’s not all bad, there just needs to be a balance. On a tangential note, I have never regretted taking time to observe before becoming friendly with my coworkers, but I have often rued the times I hurried trying to fit in. Sit tight, observe, read the room and proceed accordingly.
One thing I noticed about myself is.. I have emotionally matured a bit over the years and compared to what I was..I can understand people better. I am friendly but do not overdo it.I also keep it to a professional level coz that’s what works best for me. Hope I settle down better.Just want to relax more
@Rihana @Laks09 @MalStrom @Thyagarajan @nuss @MadhuRK @Caide and anyone else I missed or who can Understand my predicament.. Today was some lunch party in office.Everyone took food.I was painfully shy.They invited me but I acted busy and said will join them soon. I had anxiety issues in my past.They slowly creeped back in my mind.I also had brought some lunch from home but I did not have it coz I thought it won’t look cool at an office lunch. So I went to the restroom and gathered myself. Again since am the only Indian and one of the four women in the office..it triggered my anxieties even more!! My heart was beating so fast! I was also super hungry All the guys in the office casually gathered for lunch.I don’t know what overtook me..I suddenly went in and asked for a plate and took some food.Just smiled and we all went back to our desk. This is huge for me.I am sure in my office they all know am very shy and quite uncomfortable with the environment.They seem polite but am acting weird This is after 17 years in America!! The last complete American environment I worked was 12 years back..I could not manage this today. I am comfortable usually talking to people of different ethnicities but working along with them seems very weird.. Will my colleagues think differently ? I also don’t want to act like am feeling different from them.. Am I the only shy person like this at a workplace? You guys work probably with mixed ethnicities but how to be the only person who is Indian in the office and feel comfortable about it..I feel shy and uneasy many times.I talk to them casually and dress confident but inwardly I feel meek. I am doing my work quite well but atleast don’t want to act super shy as my personality type might not be too common amongst Americans.Usually they are very bold.
relax. do not overthink. non indians are no different, just different style of politics. seen that. that said. go , have a small talk about your commute or weather. avoid politics. asking personal stuff initially. you have to open up since you are not in IT. though slowly. Communication is a big deal . working with indians has its own benefits, feedback is quick. in my experience, non indians, give false positive feedback a lot to avoid confrontation which is not good atleast in my line of work.
Congratulations on the new job Anika!! I hope you love it !! New environments needs time whether it is Americans, Indians or whoever. For articulate people it is easy to fit into newer places faster. For the most part, look outward instead of inward. Instead of thinking what you are feeling, think about what others are feeling and thinking. Show interest in them and share something : weekend ( plans for the coming weekend and comments about the one which went by ), weather, traffic, current affairs, kids etc are easy topics ). Listen to radio on your way and back from work. You will have something to talk about and that's all matters with new people.
I have a problem with the environment more than the work.. I feel so different from them..finding it very very tough emotionally.. When I come back to my community every evening..I feel like coming to a vacation back in India and feel blissful.Infact ..I even want to hug my most hated person in my neighborhood lol..
