Update On My New Job..

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by anika987, Feb 23, 2022.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    So far going fine. Few things I need to work on..

    1) I work in a company with 30 employees and I am the only Indian out there.I live in the US for more than 15 years and this shouldn’t be a problem.They are actually helpful and polite but I don’t know why but I feel meek and slightly nervous..I don’t show it but I can feel it.I don’t want to do anything stupid and so extremely careful.How do I overcome this? I am sure you guys work with people from different ethnicities.

    2) I want to go to India for 3 weeks atleast coz it’s been 4 years since I met my family..
    They told me I don’t have a paid vacation and it really does not matter to me.Is it possible to workout a three week vacation?

    3) I am extremely on top of things to the extent nowadays am putting work before family and I hate that.I don’t want to do anything stupid in front of them.How to relax more?

    4) On and off I miss my comfort zone..Will I become okay soon?

    5) I try my best and work hard and I can only make do with whatever smartness I have.In my mind..everyone working around me looks super relaxed and smart.How to ease out more?

    Tips please!! Anything to make me relax would help.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    If you just started working there I would not take a vacation so quickly, unpaid or not. Especially since you have joined work after a long gap. 3 weeks is considered a long vacation and it might not create the best impression. I would wait at least 6 months to a year.
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Yeah am looking for sometime in august summer vacation.Before talking the job I spoke to them about going to India.They said as long as you don’t leave for the entire summer.So I assume I can check with them for 3 weeks
     
  4. Caide

    Caide IL Hall of Fame

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    @anika987

    Due to this COVID, I misread your vacation as vaccination :BangHead::BangHead:.

    I think you can ask your colleagues about the rules and mind sets of people there about vacation taken. If they are ok with it and if you are not assigned much work you can take vacation. But be sure it wouldn't be reflected in your work process professional files.

    And about your nervousness/comfort zone, at start it will be like that as you are dependent on someone for learning the job. But once you have learnt the process you will become more comfortable so don't take it to your heart.

    Just enjoy plus as you are now be careful . Remarks matters

    All the best
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2022
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Anytime feeling low just have little chocolate and think of some Disney cartoon characters like Micky mouse or pets at home & hum away tunes that are always close to your heart.

    Please click your highlighted quote above to see my at seriatim responses.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God Bless.
     
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  6. MadhuRK

    MadhuRK Finest Post Winner

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    Dear Anika,

    It is only natural for you to feel stressed and nervous. This is not about Indian or Caucasian, anybody on a new job will feel this way, some disguise it better than others. Some are racially conditioned to put on a super cool and confident persona, some others are racially conditioned to appear to be meek, submissive and servile. But if you peel the layers out, you will realize not the same, but similar insecurities and fears. Fear of failure, fear of shame, fear of under-performance these are all common fears among humans and even animals, only the degree changes. Why am I saying all these things to you ? Just for you to internalize and accept that its ok to feel this way. This is the first step.

    Second step : It sounds like you are constantly walking on egg-shells. This puts a huge mental strain on our energies. Typically what works for me when I'm in an uncertain situation is to make it less uncertain. So I reach out and get to know my colleagues and friends and peers or any other "I hear a sound in the darkness" very well. You are still new to your job. Use it as an excuse. Just say you are new to the job and would love to catch up over coffee or lunch. Food is a great leveller and an easy shared experience that helps build bonds. What you know well cannot surprise you. It might still hurt you, like a migraine headache but knowing it is better than not knowing it.

    Third step : Unshackle yourself. Be your own real personality and bring your true authentic self to your workplace. If you have been conditioned to dress a certain way, speak a certain way and in general feel very mousy, this is easier said than done. I'm not asking you to walk in naked but unlock your quirky side. Wear a beautiful kurti one day to work, put on your headphones and gently hum or slow-dance in your desk if you like movement, laugh freely, share a yummy burfi (not a cookie) with your colleagues, bring a small house-plant and water it everyday. Slowly but surely you will see the positive energy getting reciprocated.

    Right here in IL we read so many horror stories. The divine cosmic energy which gave you two hands, two legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, parents, husband and kid, 3 meals a day, a beautiful home, car and now this job knows how to take care of you at all times. Consider yourself a blessed divine child. What is there to fear ?

    Let go of all fears, all expectations, all worries, all conditioning and just be. You will be just fine.
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    thank you.I don’t know why I feel jittery..
    Also since am the only Indian working in the company..on a lighter note everytime I come to my community it is like going to India.An Indian Vacation everyday!:)

    Still I feel some uneasiness and extremely careful.Do you guys work with people from other ethnicities and are comfortable about it?


    Also the way I talk is with Indian accent and sometimes it feels weird like am
    Judged but people seem to be minding their own business only..

    In my office..they r polite to me and I am the one feeling odd..I will blame only myself..
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Also..even after coming home my mind is only swirling with office tasks and how am going to be tomorrow..how do u guys relax at home no matter what happens in the office? How to let go
     
  9. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Just be cool and observe your new colleagues to figure out the rhythm of your office. In some ways it’s actually an advantage not to have too many desis around.
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Oh actually I have heard this before from many..why so?
     

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