Unwritten laws of indian marriage........

You know at times talking straight also doesn't work, like for ppl like my MIL. She just doesn't want to understand that I don't like her constant interference in my life. Like her idea of how I should get my hair cut next time (I don't want a hair cut the way she wants still she will give lectures on how good I will look if I get a hair cut as she says)! She knows I don't want to listen to her ideas and suggestions all the time but still she has to say something and then make face for the reason that I don't do things her way. And she has to praise herself all the time.. usual scene in my house to which I have stopped bothering.

My MIL has this issue that I don't take her permission and do things my way! But why do I need her permission for doing every small thing in my life? I live with her it doesn't mean I owe my life to her and for every small thing I buy, I need her opinion! But who will tell this? When my DH tells her to back off she starts will all those tears and emotional tantrums! Now both me and DH have turned deaf to this, and I buy what I like, let her utter nonsense. How much shall I take? Everything in the house as to be done as per her wish but why do I need her permission to live my life? Did she live her life by her MIL's ideas? No, she has bee living with her DH and kids for the past 30 years of marriage, without her MIL! Then why she tries to control my life after living life her way!

Same here dear, I feel so irritated at times! I really don't understand why my MIL feels that I am trying to put her down when I do things my way. And then this thing that it's been 1.5 years of marriage and yet I need to improve! Yes, she tells this to my parents! I have told my parents to ignore her nonsense as she will praise herself and how well she has taught her daughter everything. I so wanna tell my MIL that my mom taught me everything good, but seeing u I don't want to be good anymore! I have started hating her for this drama.

 

You can't tell ur DH straight on the face that u hate his mother! No choice, u have to change ur words and say how bad and hurt u feel when ur MIL says things to u. Some DHs know their mom's habits so they understand whereas some don't and feel that their mom is right. And many a times he sees how his mother talks nonsense, so he also stops paying attention to it and asks u to ignore and stop bothering!! So that MIL doesn't get chance to create fights by complaining to her DS and ur married life is at peace!! hehehe

 

I wish there were written laws, how a husband and inlaws should behave

 

Be careful what you wish for! This works only if you are doing the writing. Otherwise it is: "Mein, Saas, adaalat se darkhaast karti hoon ki dafaa 1547389 ke mutabiq mujlim ko ...errr bahu, bahu, bahu ko ... errr is badtameez aurat ko kadi se kadi sazaa di jaye..."
Have to run .... translation for the uninitiated later. :rotfl

Translation:
"I, the MIL, petition the court that, according to statute 1547389, the accused ....errr DIL, DIL, DIL .... errr this ill-mannered woman, be given the toughest sentence.."

 

Thanks rise, infact you are right...it really shows how educated she is.Since I am the only daughter and didn't have people with whom I can share my feelings..today I am happy to find so many friends here who are actually helping me out to get out of this.

 

You are right and the example you mentioned here reminded me about how she bothers me about my hair style and she is behind me all the time about my dressing style...bangles..applying oil to my hir tooo..! But that's fine I getting used to her...!

Hmmm...and coming to the point of having a SIL..that's even more horrible...all the time she is the queen...My MIL and FIL both of them keep on telling that I should learn from her...i.e starting from how to cook to how much to cook...what to wear when...and infact even as to how to take care of my hubby as well I should learn from her...THE ALL IN ONE(so called)

 

Now for this problem I have a solution...I wish that helps you to feel good. You know this is purely my idea...whenever I feel that I am not able to stop myself or things are going out of control then I usually start imagining her as a cartoon character who keeps messing anything and everything in my life just for fun...and it's just a cartoon show that will end in no time .

 

If a marriage is more about DIL-PILs than husband and wife then the man's parents should be the ones tying the knot.