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Unusual Sexual Behavior From My Son Friend

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by soni1987, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. soni1987

    soni1987 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear All,

    My DS is 6 yrs old and one family always visit my neighbor house, who also has same age son.
    My DS and this boy are very good friends and always get along very well. Though both of them are bit naughty, especially this boy.

    Usually his mom n dad comes to visit my neighbor and his son directly enters my house, and stay with us for 3 to 4 hours, during this time neither his parents inquires about his whereabouts nor wish to take him to neighboring house. I get a bit irritated due to their naughty behavior, i have to keep an eye on them and cant do any house work. Whereas they close the door and come out only once they are leaving for home.

    Recently few days back when my son and this boy was playing together, my son shouted at me that this boy is asking to play with his private parts, towards which i went to them and told him nicely that this is not a game and should never be played ever. Though i have already warned my son not to show or let anyone touch is private parts, he shouted and told me this.

    Eventually later that day, i told his mom privately about this issue, she started crying and making scenes ... like what to do, how can my son do such a thing etc. I said relax nothing too serious, might be ur son's friend must have thought him something like this.

    Later that day she is calling me and telling my son was actually telling about something else for which your son misunderstood. I said ok no problem.

    After inquiring with my son, he told me " his friend unzip his pants and told to play with this, after which my son shouted and suddenly zip the pants out of fear"

    I know this boy is also innocent as per his age and might be just repeating someone else's behavior.
    But i am tensed now, should i let my son play with him anymore or not. How to let my son ignore these incidents and inform me whenever repeated from his side or any other person.

    I think personally sexual education must be given to kids in a positive way.
     
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  2. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    I see two issues here,

    Issue # 1 the parents just letting their kid barge in n not bother about his where abouts

    Issue # 2 private part touching


    Regarding issue # 1
    Since your son has a good time with him, you can try to control the situation like
    - ask his parents to let you know before coming via a call or msg instead of jus barging in unannounced.
    - confine them to one area, either outdoors or indoors.
    - n make sure both of them clean up together.
    - speak to his parents for shared supervision, so instead of you supervising for the whole time, tell them you take turns 50-50, no closing door n not bothering n all.


    Regarding issue # 2
    Tell your son "Just like how biting, scratching or hitting is wrong, touching another person's private parts are also wrong." Don't make it look like it's a special problem, let it be just one of the normal problems.

    Appreciate him for letting you know right away n that he should continue doing that.

    Seems like the other kid is curious, I have heard of this, just different variations. It needs to be handled positively n without extra dramas as the kid is still very young.

    Teach your son to handle any situation first rather than telling him to ignore n see how he copes then help him accordingly.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    I too faced the same problem. I don't invite that boy to play and told my son that this is not right thing. Also if that boy come to play I don't let them sit in separate room with door close that they used to do earlier.
     
  4. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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  5. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    OP, you have to teach your kid what good touch and bad touch is.. but in positive way. Don't be upset.
    It is quite natural in this age if they play with their own private parts, but not good to touch others or allow others to touch theirs. Here is an article

    Genital Play: What's Normal, What's Not | Ask Dr Sears

    I won't stop the kid. Instead allow them to play with new set of rules . Keep an eye on them. Limit play time to one hour. Need to inform his parents also about this. If there is no effect, then only think about limiting interaction with that kid... but how long can you do it.

    Running away from the problem is not a solution. He may face similar situations in future from other kids or anyone else . So teach your kid to face the world with wisdom and teach them what to do if they face it , but in a positive way. Here is a video for example.

    Talk about it to your kid and show videos on it ..one example below..

     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2017
    SunPa likes this.

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