Unspoken Language

This is about unspoken language or language that is still alive but not spoken. I am not talking about Sanskrit. In a world where the strength of vocabulary plays a prominent role, this skill is effective and communicates what is being thought about. Yes. It is unspoken element of communication one uses to reveal one’s true feelings, emotions through gestures, facial expressions and postures. Depending on the culture, it is understood differently.

When my business partner moved from Italy to the US at the age of 11 or 12, he didn’t know a word of English and hence you used body language to communicate with everyone. This habit has made him an expert in reading body language over a period.

A mother understands the child by its actions before he/she begins communicating with her. As tired the young mother is, she could easily read why the child is uncomfortable.

Let us take for example communication between the spouses. After they understand each other, the body language communicates a lot more with each other than spoken words. A simple stare when a topic is discussed in the presence of others would not only arrests any more uttering but also motivates to quickly change the topic. In a joint family where everyone is assembled in the living room watching TV, when the spouse calls seeking help, mostly it is to discuss something privately. Even a simple drop of a vessel communicates so much about the disinterest of the spouse. Even lack of enthusiastic conversation conveys to review all that happened since morning.

With the smartphone and other gadgets active almost all hours, communication with the teen children also requires a little more effort than normal. They only answer in one or two words at best and only on need to know basis. Further questioning sometimes results in shrug of the shoulders or a simple “whatever” response. Therefore, the eye contact and the demeanor when our line of questioning is responded becomes key to learn more.

The body language is differently read in various cultures. Sometimes, “Yes Sir” is viewed as sarcasm in America where the first name is used to address people unless they are professors whereas it is extremely common in Asia and Europe. Folded arm is reverence in India whereas it is an indication of someone being disengaged, disinterested or unhappy in a conversation in the US. A firm handshake is considered as confidence where as a hand extended looking downwards is considered indication of domination or superiority.

In criminal investigations, the investigators use very effective tools to draw out the maximum information from the person being interrogated. They closely watch the body language of the person to understand how much they could rely upon their responses. Even when someone is not opening their mouth, their looking down indicates “guilt” sometimes and looking up indicates “catch me if you can” attitude sometimes. Sometimes they make the interrogated person stand up or the investigator stand up to communicate that they are running out of patience.

Psychologists and Psychiatrists study a lot from the body language of their patient. If they are accompanied by someone who is intimidating, they can understand from the patient’s expressions and ask that person to leave so that they could discuss one on one with the patients. The finger moments, hand gestures, sitting posture, eye position, shoulder moments, position of the legs, etc., communicates a lot to them about the condition of the patient.

Understanding the pets is an interesting part in life as well. They sometimes communicate through their wagging (when they are happy) or hidden (when they are scared) tail, eye contact to communicate something, quick movement to express their excitements, circling the same place to express the urgency and many more.

When I eliminate the spoken language and begin watching only the body language, it opens a whole new world to me.

 

Dear Satchi,

Thank you for your very first response. It only shows the love and chemistry between the parents and the child when you fail miserably when you attempt to tell a lie. You need intense training from Trump even today.

Yes, it is important to learn the body language of those helping us at home. Even the gossip they share with us would have embedded message for us. If they are appreciating a neighbor of being generous, it means, she is expecting something big from you. Sometimes, you can even predict the previous day whether they are going to show up for work the next day or not.

Viswa

 

@Gauri03,

Tell me about it. Even my mother used to tell she has not only vision on the back of her heard but also an XRay vision to see from the distance. When she leaves the house, she used to lock a cupboard where all her nice tasting sweets used to be stored and warn my brother and I not to touch them as she would be able to see it wherever she was. There is a lot of difference between boys and girls and we never believe her threat even once.

Soon after she left, my brother used to lift me to access the top drawer so that I can remove it entirely from the cupboard. Then we both have unlimited access by inserting our entire hand from the top to access any amount of sweets. Unfortunately, my mother knew our tastes and if the regular laddus were missing, it was me and if Rava laddus were missing, it was my brother. We both used to get punishment.

You and your hubby are definitely too good in your understanding of each other. My MIL tells the same everyday about my wife and I. She definitely knows how to communicate with me without uttering one word. That reminds me about my FIL who used to be schooled not to say certain things in front of the guests. He used to exactly say that and when my MIL used to stare at him, he used to reply in front of all the guests, "Why are you staring at me? Did I say something that you told me not to say it in front of them?"

Viswa