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Unruly Teenager To A Responsible Mommy:)

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by anika987, Oct 11, 2019.

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  1. Oct 11, 2019 #1
    anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I know what I am doing!
    I am leaving the house right row!
    I Hate you and my life!
    $&@$&&”/)$&@( all bad words)
    Yeah yeah whatever!( Rolls the eyes)

    NOPE..that’s not my kiddo.that was ME as a teenager:)

    Now my six year old(!) is already doing the above and Everyday I apologize to my mom in phone for what I was:)

    call it generation gap?Don’t know..

    I was a bullied teen and my anger was shown in a soft target..MY mom:(
    I am so so so so sorry mom..words can’t describe how terrible I feel for being towards you..

    karma is really a *itch!

    I told myself when I became a mom that I will be all that I expected which could have moulded me to be a better person which I didn’t get during my school/college days.I told myself since I was a crazy,arrogant,angry teen..I knew exactly how to deal my child if she is anything like that but BOY! Was I wrong!!!!

    I always wanted to be heard,people being calm and listening and helping me out and I tried to be all that only to be taken for a ride!:) Do you think my child cares?heck no!!

    she thrives in negative attention and she feels good to rile me up which I used to and it is draining..hmm my poor
    Mom!

    I became super insecure after my dad died coz my whole world was centered about him,he was a powerful
    Man and family and people around were scared of him and I felt
    Protected.Once he died..every Tom,dick and Harry started taunting me and unable to handle that..I fell into deep insecurity and hence is history..

    but what’s the problem with my six year old!She has friends outside,teachers give very good review of her,she is very nice to people and confident and outspoken but with me she is THE DEVIL...

    she recently spoke about dark,white skin in front of people and I was thrown dagger looks and how I cringed! Coz I am someone who never talks about color and condemn people who discriminate and my own daughter did that! When asked she said her teacher read a book about how dark skin prevailed and later white people assimilated.The book potrayed as if dark skin was superior but it backfired!!

    This thread is not a sequel to my other threads but just some thoughts about motherhood and a sorry to my mom.

    MY good neighbor has a wonderful daughter and I have seen her everyday from the age of five and she is an angel.To add to the fuel,she keeps saying “oh! I never felt like raising a kid.She is super easy”..Am I jealous or what:)

    Motherhood is tough..but some make it look so easy and do it all!!!!
    Kudos to super moms!
    People who have it tough..hang in there..this too shall pass!:)
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
    #1
    Tamrakshar, Metamorphic, Rihana and 4 others like this.
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  2. Oct 11, 2019 #2
    shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    We all did that. Sometimes even I feel bad about things which I spoke to my mom back then.

    Sorry not to hurt you but on a lighter note :blush:

    51EA6483-ABD9-4146-B119-738768B82ABC.jpeg
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
    shravs3, Oct 11, 2019
    shravs3, Oct 11, 2019
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  3. Oct 11, 2019 #3
    anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    True quote:)
     
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
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  4. Oct 11, 2019 #4
    SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika, it is refreshing to see posts like these from you . I see glimpses of your true spirit here.
     
    SinghManisha, Oct 11, 2019
    SinghManisha, Oct 11, 2019
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  5. Oct 11, 2019 #5
    Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe, she is taking you for granted.

    Give her a little quite, from time to time, silent treatment. Do not go after her.

    Also, just a thought, girls who are mean now, will be successful in life. For her own survival, she is on the right track. People are mean out there, and she is arming herself up.

    Another perspective- hopefully she doing all okay in school because like you said, kids who are not doing okay take it out on the person who love and feel safe with- you (mothers in general, like you said you did).
    Please check on this.

    If she is just being mean, and she has no problem in school, then concerns is different.
     
    Vaikuntha, Oct 11, 2019
    Vaikuntha, Oct 11, 2019
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  6. Oct 11, 2019 #6
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    True. Glimpses of Anika's true spirit.

    The Master of Words (Novalis) once said it so well. Appreciation For The Fellow Ilites
     
    Rihana, Oct 11, 2019
    Rihana, Oct 11, 2019
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  7. Oct 11, 2019 #7
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    ROFL. : )

    It all comes back in life, doesn't it? : )

    My DD once took a well-known story that had a cruel mother, and re-wrote it in her own handwriting in one secret journal, changing it slightly so that the cruel mother's words and actions resembled mine at that time. To this day, she denies the similarities. :lol:
     
    Rihana, Oct 11, 2019
    Rihana, Oct 11, 2019
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  8. Oct 11, 2019 #8
    Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    In seeking lessons from History the OP could think back to what caused her to snap out of (or set aside?) her feelings and get on with life -- college, job, marriage to NRI, baby, travels to india, angst with everybody and self about career etc. etc.
    How/why did that transition happen, when ?
    [​IMG]​
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
    Amulet, Oct 11, 2019
    Amulet, Oct 11, 2019
    #8
  9. Oct 11, 2019 #9
    ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    That’s a nice write up @anika987

    sometimes when my kid gets angry with me, his body language clearly shows, he grunts, throws hands in the air, angry face, stops talking, turns n walks away .. I will then point to my dh.. he will smirk n whisper ‘where will our genes go ? Now you realise what our parents went through’ Then we will be like ‘oh karma’

    When I am being strict with my kid, my mom will be like ‘don’t be so tough. He’s just a kid’
    Then I do the flashback swirl N say ‘you have hit me black n blue for things that were 10% of this n am only yelling’ she just shrugs n walks away with ‘that’s different’ :facepalm:

    I sometimes feel like the generation that got stuck in the middle. Listen to parents n expected to listen to the kids. When will anyone listen to us ? When will our time come ? (Am talking about expectations)
     
    ashneys, Oct 11, 2019
    ashneys, Oct 11, 2019
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  10. Oct 11, 2019 #10
    anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    ha ha true even my mom tells me to be as calm as possible with the kid but I know even I was given few beatings when I was half as naughty as mine:)
     
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
    anika987, Oct 11, 2019
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