In particular of Anuradha's brother's case, i felt the SIL was being unreasonably blamed.. It is her brother who earns 100k and the one who lacks a heart to help his parents.. Just he is escaping giving his wife's excuses.. That's not correct.. Anuradha is channeling all her anger towards her SIL.. The problem revolves around her brother and not SIL.. So i wanted to point that out.. No, Anu's SIL is far more reasonable.. She has not emotionally blackmailed her in-laws and got them to live as servants in her house.. Just she has chosen to stay far away from them for xyz reasons.. In my particualar case, till my grand dad passed away, my grandparents were in no way affected because of my mom as they lived in our native town.. My parents lived in bangalore.. So they were living separately.. Grand parents had their own source of income (farm+rent+pension) and at times dad helped too.. But problems arised only when widowed grandma came to live with us.. I hope you can see the difference.. When grandparents were staying separately they didn't suffer because of mum in anyway.. That is why i'm wondering how anu's parents are suffering as their DIL is living far away from them? .. Similarly if you see the DILs cases, there is trouble only when they happen to live with bullying in-laws under one roof.. When they both are living separately there shouldn't be much trouble though in-laws are bullying type.. When DILs live in joint family set up, live with in-laws on a vacation to india, in-laws come over to live with them.. During such times maximum problems arise .. Definitely Anu can speak out.. This forum is for everyone, and i donot intend to supress her.. I just tried to figure out why exactly she was channeling her anger towards SIL?.. Which sounded unreasonable to me while her brother was at fault.. I responded only when this story was narrated to counter one my previous posts..