Friends, this is based on one of the feedbacks that I gave VR many months back in this forum. I have developed on it. Does marriage satisfy your emotional needs? It is yes & no. This is strictly my point of view! You are welcome to disagree. Yes, because it is deeply ingrained in our psychology that this relationship is for keeps. So we compromise, many times unknowingly, but more often unwillingly. No, when disillusionment keeps on cropping up at every stage, with expectations being unfulfilled on every aspect of life. Yes, because there is intimacy, responsibility is shared (to a certain extent); occasionally there is somebody to reassure you when there is a crisis. No, when, intimacy switches over to autonomy suddenly, withdraws when domestic responsibility is overwhelming, needs reassurance that we can tide over the crisis, if any. Yes, when we receive attention and praise, when they are accommodating. No, when we are neglected, when they refuse to open up and talk. Yes, when they give us space and we give them the freedom they want, on specific terms. No, when they argue it is exclusively their right to be free but not reciprocally, resulting in conflict. Yes, because we give and want love, compromise and support. No, when it becomes one way traffic. Yes, when we get understanding, caring and reassurance. No, when appreciation, admiration and encouragement touch an all time low, over the years. Yes, when he gives support at difficult times. No, when he points fingers only at you during difficult times. Yes, when they love us without our ever having to ask for it. No, when they think they give us more than what we deserve. There is no “yes” or “no” that can be a correct (true?) answer .Our emotionalneeds can never be satisfied fully even if he or she is the best person in the eyes of the world, but it is only acceptance of the spouse for whatever he or she is, that can give us emotional satisfaction. Over the years, unknowingly, a thread of mutual dependence starts growing between the spouses - this, I say, as a much married woman! Besides acceptance of the spouse with all merits and drawbacks, unconditional love is the main foundation for a marriage to last. Neither should be a fair-weather spouse. This makes one feel wanted, whether the other expresses in words or actions or not. To be continued next week. Love, Chithra.