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Understanding Friends Who Are Organizing In-person Parties Soon After City Reopening

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by startinganew, Jun 3, 2020.

  1. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    Some of our friends are organizing parties now that our city is allowing gatherings. We are politely refusing explaining that we want to continue to stay-home for a few more weeks (atleast) and are not yet comfortable enough to get back to socializing. In fact we plan to be as conservative as we've been all this while. We want to observe how the situation plays out - it's been only 3 weeks since slow re-opening has begun in our city.

    It's bothering me incessantly (day and night) that given all that we're hearing in the news - the best thing to do is stay home if we can possibly continue to do so - why some are choosing to go ahead with back-to-normal lives. Help me understand what motivates them, how you or they possibly are justifying the risks involved.
    what are you planning to do? Any activities you are going to resume?
     
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  2. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    These are parties for 4 or 5 families only. And I understand they want to begin to open up their social circle to include the same very-close 4-5 families consistently. They are still avoiding public places.
     
  3. Sreevidyaa

    Sreevidyaa Silver IL'ite

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    Neither can I understand such people. I think it’s just this attitude that if people are young and healthy then they think that “I am not going to get Covid19 and even if I get I am not going to die”. Probably the general attitude that country is reopening so it’s fine to gather. What they fail to understand is some countries are reopening without adhering to the guidelines to safely reopen, if you are in USA. So you stay safe, that’s all in your hands.
     
  4. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    I have heard that in my area some desis were already meeting in groups of 3-5 families even when such gatherings were not allowed. I guess they love each other's company so much that cannot stay apart and 6-7 weeks of Zoom meetings made them desperate to meet in person. I can only salute such affection and bonding from afar.

    Coming to the actual question - understanding what motivates them: One part of growing older is that the time I spend musing about why people do or don't do somethings has gone down. Earlier, I used to spend quite some time after dinner recounting to better-half some things my friends did or did not and ponder why. Now, I still mention the things but get up sooner from the table with a 'to each their own I guess' shrug and conclusion.

    My friends find some of my shelter-in-place choices hard to understand. Once our county started allowing people to venture out to parks and trails, we started going each weekend. The open spaces are deserted enough and easy to main lots of distance from others. I also had driven quite some distance twice or thrice to drop off essential supplies to friends' front doors. After checking instacart 20 times in 2 hours, my neighbor and I finally just came up with a way of safely doing our own shopping. I went to Costco, she went to Indian store, we maintain a running account spreadsheet. : ) All these were considered "not advisable" by some of my friends.

    Then, I had another friend in a different state who scolded people on FB for going out to buy milk. : ) And, for ordering non-essential things on Amazon and putting at risk the health of Amazon warehouse workers. She and her husband apparently manage to live with what they have for months, including much-coveted yeast for baking. : ) : )

    Summary of the story is people do what seems right to them. Each person's risk appetite and safety precautions level varies.

    For us, nothing is going to change. We got some take-out, will still get it. We did some grocery shopping in person, will do it. Meeting friends: no as my friends are calling cleaners and all to their houses. Like little children rushing out to play when the rain stops.
     
  5. steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    I think many don't seem to take it seriously or underestimating the risk.

    In such situations it's really an issue of one's intelligence and smarts to feel the pressure. Covid is too easy to contract and not well understood about the long term effects on human body even if you survive it.

    It's smart to politely refuse. Maybe they need to know that inviting people is an imposition on them in these days.

    It's not good to be sheep at these times!
     
    hermitcrab, anika987 and startinganew like this.
  6. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    I think different locations different kind of people.
    I started going to office for work and our office is fully staffed everyone following best practices to avoid spreading germs. My coworkers order food, eat together and sit in a tiny confernce room. Where I live, stores are back to normal only differnce is people wear masks and they sanitize the carts and stay 6ft distance apart. We go to store as a family, sanitize hands before get into the car and keep non essential stuff in garage for until they are needed. We did meet our friends in our house, just one family of four. Our city is almost back to normal !
     
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  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    It depends on how the situation is where you live. In my county the cases have still not plateaued so we are taking all the precautions possible.
    In many other places things are in a lot better shape so people are more relaxed.
     
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  8. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    I don't get this. Do people think they can play hide and seek with covid 19?
     
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  9. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you all for the responses. Felt good to read how you all think.

    My unrest isn't abated though. Two of them in this group are considered high-risk. :-( But I am trying to tell myself - our risk-taking mindsets are different. I have to allow them their own choices and decisions. Just like I have all the freedom to follow my choices. Opening up to a close set of friends they fully trust - is according to them a safe bet. i.e. the comfort they are going to derive is worth the increased risk according to them.

    I titled this as "understanding my friend's" choices...but one thing that I am leaning towards is that - maybe this is about understanding myself. I have grown comfortable in this new way of life. I have been fortunate that it wasn't a difficult time for me. As an introvert, I have enjoyed more time with my family and how much simpler my life has been without having to navigate so many extra decisions/planning/socializing/etc. I love my friends but only enjoy 1-1 conversations and dread the so called "get-together". Maybe the inevitable return to normal is what is bothering me - I don't know.
     
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  10. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    We are like your friends. There is a select group of friends we have no problem socializing with. We haven't met anybody in a large gathering, but have been meeting a few of them 1 on 1. Some people crave the social connection and I wouldn't blame them as being irresponsible or anything, as long as they take precautions of not being sick.
     
    anika987 likes this.

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