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Understanding Corona Virus

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Feb 5, 2020.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    NOT-SO STATUTORYiF WARNING: iF YOU CONSIDER THIS AS SERIOUS STUDY OF THE ISSUE, YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK

    The first thing you have to understand about Corona Virus is that it is not the name of a Roman legionnaire from Asterix comic s who is greeted with "Ave" by his fellow Romans and is pummelled by the indomitable Gals drunk on Druid Getafix's magic potion. There is very real danger that coronavirus could be mistaken for an unfortunate Roman posted in one of the camps around the Indomitable Gaul village for if we have legionnaires with names like Christmasbonus and Ginandtonicus why not Coronavirus.?

    After recognizing that it is a virus and not a comic book Roman Legionnaire we can start to clear misconceptions about how the virus infects people. No, it is not caused by eating Chinese food. At least not in India. For the Chinese food here is not the real McCoy at all.

    No self-respecting Chinese guy will even put one toe on the threshold of these so-called Chinese restaurants. Silly Sicken? Seriously? (That's how many restaurant menus in Tamil Nadu mention chilly chicken).If he is bold enough to enter the restaurant he would rush out in sheer desperation seeking to be infected by all the strains of Corona virus.

    Even the staff of these joints are quite geographically challenged, having never been north of Ludhiana. Ask them where China is located and you might get a very surprising Answer: Europe. That qualifies them to write UPSC exams but not run Chinese restaurants.

    Let us look at the symptoms of corona virus. You get cold, fever and breathing problems before you give up the ghost. Cough and breathing problems are no big deal for us residents of Delhi-NCR, with its extremely high levels of pollution. Cough has actually become the trademark of Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kewjriwal. If cough and breathlessness go we probably would miss long time friends. So the real criterion could only be a blood test and isolating the suspected victims until the test results are available.

    Not everybody is unhappy with the situation though. Mask makers are dreaming of stumbling on a goldmine. Masks that supposedly keep the virus at bay are already selling like hotcakes with panicky people buying them at a premium. Who knows, like the crazy guys we are there could be designer masks soon. Crimes could increase as you can't tell whethern someone is wearing a mask out of fear of the virus or to rob a bank. Some wise guy might chuckle: "Now you know why I put ny DW in a burqa"
    Pharma companies are also looking at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It could be a windfall for them in the form of anti-biotics and vaccines. And I am sure their focus will be on vaccines rather than on anti-biotics. After all, anti-biotics are only for the infected but with vaccines you can laugh all the way to the bank with money rolling in from terrified people.
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello: That is funtastic my dear @Balajee .
    2. I am game for this post. Silly Sicken prices drastically slashed in chennai yet no takers. They cover their nose while passing these wayside and big Chinese hotels.
    3. Which animal responsible for this novel coronavirus2019. Is it snake or rabbit or monkey.
    4. Oh my god people avoid zoo.
    5. Fiancé told fiancée no meeting in rendezvous that Chinese hotel in Marina or in vandaloor zoo. Revenues in zoos and Chinese restaurants taking a plunge.
    6. This woe add to existing un employment of employable literates and illiterates. Swiggy sends SMS offering phenomenal discounts for Chinese food. Bonanza for boozers.
    7. Media reports unprecedented downtrend in productions to China and from China. China related Indian shares nosedived.
    8. Since Xi Jinping visited Mahabalipuram few months ago, I would like to know whether I should cancel my trip to shore temple with my guests. ( not from wuhan)
    Thanks and Regards.
     
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  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Your not so statutory warning surely ensured that I was drawn to your snippet!!! :-D "Silly, sicken!" Maybe they are trying to pass a message to the public about the quality of the food???

    The reverse can also hold true. Allow more people to be infected by ensuring that no vaccines are developed. The antivirals would sell like hot cakes and the pharmas would be laughing all the way to the bank. In fact in the long run that would be a greater source of income to them than just vaccines.
     
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  4. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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  5. sln

    sln Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Balajee,
    Many youngsters in our complex have already started wearing masks.I think ladies will be given the responsibility of locating bats if any.Earlier when we went with cough and fever we had to have a blood test for Typhoid,Dengue and Chikungunya.Now they will add coronavirus.People who are coughing and having fever will be kept at arms length. with one exception ie the maids without whose help nothing will move at home. On a serious note it has brought to light the obnoxious eating habits of the Chinese.
    Regards.SLN
     
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  6. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Thyagu sir, what do you have aganst Vandalur zoo? I think it is a perfectly safe place for a date unlike Chinese (within inverted commas) restaurants. I am no fan of sicken oops sorry chicken silly or otherwise. I chicken out whe n someone mentions chicken. Yeah better stasy away from Mahabalipuram. The chinesen might have left behind a few strains of Corona vrus as a parting gift.
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:LOL.
    THANKS AND REGARDS.
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Sin looks like many youngsters in your complex have developed a corona virus complex or is there an ulterior motive behind all those masks? When your face is hidden behind a mask you can indulge in er sin.
     

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