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Unconditional? Love?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by satchitananda, Jun 7, 2019.

  1. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    "I was out of my body and all I felt was complete love, unconditional love". Every single of them says this. Every person who has undergone an NDE.

    Makes me wonder. What is love? More specifically, what is unconditional love? How do we recognize unconditional love when we see it? Is there any unconditional love in this world?

    Parents, if anybody, may provide unconditional love. But do they really? What is all that business about disowning kids who choose their own partners, make their own decisions in matters concerning preferences of profession and so on?

    As far as spousal love is concerned, I would not even go there when talking of unconditional love.

    What about a child's love for its parents? Maybe - in the early years when they are still innocent and truly untouched. After that love is traded for the latest I-Phone.

    Friends? I don't know. Maybe that is a matter of luck/karma.

    Pets? There I would be willing to believe that dogs are capable of what comes closest to the definition of 'unconditional love'. And that only those of us can experience, whose family will love them unconditionally enough to allow them to get themselves those precious beings called 'dogs'. The rest can wait to have an NDE or to cross the veil.
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2019
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  2. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Satchi,

    You made my day with the statement above. I enjoy this everyday and I can relate so well with this.

    With respect to unconditional love, I read this quote that impressed me the most to explain what is unconditional love.

    "What is true prema (love)? Pure, unselfish love towards all living beings considered as embodiments of the Divine, with no expectation of reward, is true love. “Adweshtā sarvabhūtānām maitraḥ karuñaivacha” (“free from dislike, friendly and compassionate towards all beings”) with this attitude, when one regards Divinity as present in all beings, only then he or she can have true love. Whatever be the vicissitudes one may face, whatever be the personal sorrows and pri-vations one may undergo, true love will remain unaffected. Today, when any difficulty arises or when some trouble crops up, love turns into ha-tred. True love is the sweet fruit that grows out of the fragrant flower of good deeds. Love rules without recourse to the sword. It binds without laws. Only one who has such true love can be described as human. The person without such love is human only in form. Like the lotus which blooms when the sun rises, the heart of a human blossoms when love enters it. Like the glow of the flame in a fire, like the rays of the sun, like waves in the ocean, Divine Love is the basic quality of a true human being. It is only when one is filled with pure, unselfish love that he or she can be called a human being."
     
  3. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    @satchitananda
    :hello:Yes it is yet another thought provoking post by you after long hiatus.
    2. Once “I” is out of body, what remains is known as dead body or corpse. Then where is the question of experiencing the so called “LOVE” and if The left out “I” experiences that mystic “Love” the dead body knowing that does not arise at all!
    3. In conditional love one is expected to take care of the other Loved one or ones whereas in conditional love it could be “exchange” or bartering something? I am flummoxed.
    4. Pet animals too seemed to be in “conditional love” category. If you don’t provide food and starve them - then one would know whether love exists between the pet and the person.
    5. In the very nature of the scheme of God, Love appears to be conditional between any two lovers - it could be souls or souls of Nations.
    God bless us with His Unconditional love.
     
  4. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    I too feel there is nothing like "unconditional love". If it's human, there is a condition for everything. Even dogs provide unconditional love with an expectation that you don't ditch them. The only difference is unlike humans they cannot express their disappointments verbally. As far as parents are concerned, I used to feel frustrated at times earlier, but not anymore. Parents are human beings too, just because they fulfill most of our wishes due to a sense of bonding and responsibility doesn't mean that they are obliged to do it life long. A time comes when they too are frustrated. Age has caught up with them and they do not have the same mental, physical and financial strength as in their youth. To not agree with one's preference of spouse is understandable - it's not like a new toy or accessory, the spouse is a new family member with whom they need to adjust (in some cases a whole lot), I think as far as profession is concerned, they are fine to the extent that they don't need to undertake any financial responsibility. Once their involvement is inevitable, they will express their reservations. When one wants to do something unconventional, they have to face heat from all quarters. And children's love - if you switch the roles you can understand their feelings. So I have now come to a state where I believe in the hindu philosophy - anything that is born is meant to die and anything that is human will falter. We are not divine, we can only try to be as good as possible with limited human abilities. If we cannot get love, let's give it and pray that we have the strength to love ourselves and others reasonably.
     
  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    In all transactions (even nuns ministering to the sick has the underlying motive of reaping souls for a certain sub-division of heaven ;)) there is usually a win-win result. A and B in transacting love, would mutually satisfy (& often exceed expectations too) each other's conditions, before "closure" happens.

    Unconditional love is a poetic allusion that is felt a lot more when explicit dialogue about conditions are totally absent, and never talked about. As in...
    Mrs X = sometimes I wonder how I came to deserve you :kissingheart:.
    Mr. X = same here.
    Recently I chanced upon an entry in "Wiki_How" on "How to sweet-talk a girl". I am not making this up at all. It is recommending that the boy find out what the girl likes, and put it out in heavy doses.

    Obfuscating crass things like "conditions" can be achieved through inane nonsense that is enthusiastically shared.

    upload_2019-6-8_11-10-42.png
    w/ thanks to the post in link.
     
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  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Every move is a transactional analysis - A child an adult and a parent.
    Love is sweet nothings uttered in silence?!
    Thanks and Regards
    God create a world devoid of Love & Hate.
     
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  7. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    'Self-love' is the best kind of unconditional love. How many of us actually know that loving thyself is the need of the hour ! We criticize, demean, loathe - I mean the list is endless when it comes to 'us' treating 'us'. Why can we just love ouselves unconditionally first ! Why do we expect unconditional love from the rest of the human world !! Its best know that the 'Universe gives you back what you give to the Universe'. So why not make urself your universe. Love urself so much, unconditionally that you dont feel the need another human or living soul to love you, surprisingly all these come automatically to you as you radiate so much love from within that every living soul is attracted to you like a magnet ! Start with saying looking at urself on the mirror that I love you so much, you are my soulmate, my partner my everytin. U will feel an unexplainable change. Smile, its contagious and when you are all about self-love and proud to have u beside u the smile u give is that of a confident person, and every living soul is attracted to you. You dont need a NDE to experience that kibd of bliss. Own urself, love urself unconditionally. N see the wonders it does to ur body and mood. Often we humans constanly rely on approvals from other humans and so portray the best version of ourself....is that really neccessary. We all have one life, this life - simple logic - we came into this world alone, we leave this world alone so do we still need other people to love us unconditionally ?
     
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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:Well said. In that case, Entire Cosmic energy would contrive and conspire to love one and make others too perhaps love him or her.

    2. Is narcissist includes self love?

    3. Monks in forest in solitude in caves for months on end, perhaps love themselves squatting for long, meditating experience everything of cosmos in a nutshell in their own universe ending up with inexplicable bliss.
    Thanks and Regards.
    God blesses those in caves.
     
  9. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    Would anyone gifted with truly high self-esteem need to insult others to feel superior, attack anyone who criticizes them, treat people like playthings, pick “trophy wives” and “trophy husbands” over loving partners, demand constant accolades or—in intimate relationships—perfect unwavering attention, and finally, devalue love and relationships? Thats the kind of self-love narcissist portray.

    A narcissist can make it look like love. A narcissist can say the words of love. A narcissist can think it's love. Unfortunately, when involved with a narcissist, you are enmeshed but not in love.
     
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  10. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    I too feel that there is nothing like 'unconditional love'.Even a Mother's love which is stated to belong to that category, becomes conditional on many many occasions.
    The question is why you should have unconditional love? Nothing comes free in this world, including love.
    Bagvan sathya Sai Baba used to advise daughters-in-law ,just to pretend to love MIL,though it may not be genuine. His view is, once you pretend to love, loving would become a habit which forms an indelible pattern in the mind set up and afterwards you will start loving her .
    Even taking this example, that pretence itself is conditional, either to win the favour of MIL or to avoid frequent conflicts at home.Even a sage is called'Mumukshu' because he desires 'moksha'. It is a condition of loving God also.Sages did penance to get boons, a condition.
    I don't consider conditioning is bad because it inculcates some lakshya or ambition followed by discipline.Everything ,including service in the hospital is conditional.When the love is exhibited in the form of service, and if the service has a motive, it is conditional, though it may not be selfish.
    Better love with condition,though it is mingled with some pretence.
    jayasala 42
     

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