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unaffectionate husband .plz suggest a remedy

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Kiruthigaranjit, Jul 14, 2012.

  1. Kiruthigaranjit

    Kiruthigaranjit Senior IL'ite

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    hai dear il's frds,
    i got married 3 yrs before .i have 8month old baby....now my problem is my husband doesn't care about me from the begining of our marriage.......i don't know how to make him to love me or engaged with me..now the problem is he always spending his time with his friends.he spends his weekend with his friends by drinking in our home and chatting with them for lot of time:cheers(almost midnight 3am)

    before my pregnancy too he did the same......but i just got angry with him and after 3 or 4 days i just talk with him and we never discussed about the problem ..and we both will be normal.......now i really got frustated and i asked him "why are you doing like this ????if you want to drink you just go outside have that in any bar please don't drink inside our home for our baby's sake.........."

    but he replied me "i do the same..i can't change for you or for our baby.for me friends are more important than your's...if you adjust with me you just live wih me otherwise you just get out of my life"

    main problem is my husbands friend who is sharing our home becoz of him all problem are bursting between us......when my husband is alone he won't drink........only he drinks when he got a company to share.......his friend is sharing our home before i got pregnant..that time his wife was also with us.......so he spents his time with her ..but now she is in home town for delivery ..she will be back in december .......

    my husband stays always in his room and talking for hours & hours........i don't know wht they are talking because they closed their room........my husband won't share his business matters with me and never ask any suggestion with me but always asks his friend who shares our home......

    he needs me only for cooking,washing and in bedroom:bonk...i don't want to live like a machine......i was not happy from the day of my marraige.......please give the solution whether i should continue my life with him or not.........i am abroad so nobody kows my problems...i tell my problems to you only.......

    WHAT DO I DO NOW????????????????????
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 15, 2012
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  2. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Why is your husband's friend in your house? He is married. And why is his wife also in your house? Are they saving money by staying with you. You be selfish. Pick a fight with that friend and chase him out. Your husband will be angry for sometime. But it will be ok. It is not like he is nice to you now anyway.

    Without your help, how can your husband host drinking parties regularly in your house? Do you cook for them and clean up after them?

    Have you ever showed your anger at his friends when they come for drinking in your house? If the hostess shows an angry face, most men will not come. They know their own wife wont allow this. That is why they are not planning these in their homes.
     
  3. Kiruthigaranjit

    Kiruthigaranjit Senior IL'ite

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    dear eandian,
    thanks 4r ur reply.but my mom is with me she do all that cooking and cleaning work for the sake of mine.......men who r coming to my home r not having wives here or bachelor frds only.even i showed my angry face to one of his frd....from that day he alone stopped coming to my home whereas others doing d same(shameless humans)....

    my hus itself cooks well..so he cooks , one of his frds wash the vessels.....this what happening all the week in my home.........

    i want to free from this devil's home...is my decision is right?????//////
     
  4. Kiruthigaranjit

    Kiruthigaranjit Senior IL'ite

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    plz give any so;ution to me................y no reply??????????
     
  5. delhidamsel

    delhidamsel Silver IL'ite

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    Ask the moderator to move this thread to married life section. You will get more replies.
     
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  6. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    VJ, could you perhaps move this to married life section? I think she will receive more suggestions there.
     
  7. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Gals...
    I have moved this thread to married life forum...
     
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  8. puspita

    puspita Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Friend

    Why dont you personally talk with that friend? Talk to him without your husband's presence. Otherwise directly discuss this issue with his wife...you told your husband drinks with friends only, not alone. It may help if that friend wont come frequently. Well it cant be done in one or two days, but the frequency can be less.. slowly everything will be fine...
     
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  9. Kiruthigaranjit

    Kiruthigaranjit Senior IL'ite

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    thaks for all the repliers.........i stopped talking with that frd before a mnt itself......but that friend is more height weighted ..., etc..he is so happy that i won't talk with my hus...now they both went outside for cinema, mall and enjoying their time happily.......i don't know how to solve..can i leave my hus and live seperately??????is this correct decision???????????i fully in confused stage i don't know what to decide ...........
     

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