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Unable To Get Along With People..

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Dec 27, 2021.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    I believe people are friends in India because they are compelled to rely on each other. That’s what it seems (I have no experience, just an observation)

    In USA, person has to rely on themselves, ie make their own meals, etc. Type of person in USA who has lot of friends is rich, good looking, has something to offer, ie job, influence.

    Your cousin seems to tolerate the politics so she is less unhappy being around such people instead of being all alone.

    When you throw a grand party for people, how likely will they reciprocate? Will they bring gift for the hostess?

    In future will they invite you to dinner, wish you on your birthday?

    it’s ok to be bothered by all of this.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  2. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    If you are an introvert looking at an extrovert's life would be akin to apples vs oranges comparison so it would not make sense if you catch my point
     
    Metamorphic and anika987 like this.
  3. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Some are married
    Some are single
    Some are alone
    And wish to mingle

    We cry
    We are in pain
    Sometimes we cannot understand
    Each other
    But remember
    The devil is the same

    The devil who casts away
    The beautiful and bright
    The devil who makes us lose sleep
    And cry all into the night

    We suffer different
    But the devil is the same
    It’s job is to cause us
    Lots and lots and lots of pain

    Whether we are at the
    Bottom of the totem pole
    Or are handsome and rich
    And can recline on a
    Bean bag shaped like a
    Donut hole

    The devil is the same
    Will be on Earth to cause us pain

    Does God exist?
    A question I cannot resist
    If God is everywhere
    Won’t He see what is broken
    And prepare to fix?

    How easy is it to forget there is God
    Yet with loneliness
    It is easy to look back on life
    And regret and regret and regret

    The devil is the same
    It loves to inflict pain
    No matter how far you’ve come in life
    No matter how many times we are born
    Again and again and again
     
    AliceMargaret likes this.
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm.. am an ambivert..

    I like going out and having a good time but only with people am comfortable with..

    Don’t know if that’s right or wrong..

    Tats why this thread.How come many adjust and get along with so many people? How do they take things easy..would like to learn
     
  5. kaluputti

    kaluputti Platinum IL'ite

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    anika987 I feel like you are talking about me...yes, this is what I underwent long back..well, I am way older now ,understand the world a better and am comfortable with myself. It is perfectly alright to be like you, only you need to decide what and how you should handle this issue, since we dont control how others act,say etc. Everything comes in a package, in relationships too and so we can't accept some and reject the others. We need to be prepared for the worst. taking along everything in our stride and willing learn, evolve and be happy also in the process. Accept yourself as you are and you will start accepting others too in the same way..That comes from a intense soul searching..!
     
    anika987 likes this.
  6. Mehana

    Mehana Platinum IL'ite

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    Anika...less you expect more people can be around you but at the same time you should be smart enough to make sure you are not being used.

    If you like to host party at your home make sure you have potluck list and people bring their food. People will like to come if you host everytime ...but at the same time make sure everybody contribute

    Make sure you have that chain like Diwali or new year party so people will expect you to host

    Don't worry if someone didn't invite you or avoid you...go with the group of people who are ready to.come to your home.
     
    KashmirFlower, SuiDhaaga and anika987 like this.
  7. paru123

    paru123 Gold IL'ite

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    Not everyone in such pics are happily gleeing. Out of 10, I have noticed may be 2 or 3 are very genuinely happy, whereas rest pose a smile just for the sake of it.
    Everyone's life is different. The person who has many friends might not be having any major bothering issue in their life and can keep organising parties poojas get togethers. Sometimes they might be doing it just to forget their issues.
    I know a lady who keeps 6 to 7 haldi kumkum program in a year for ladies. Her kids are not small, she is not staying with in laws or aged parents, her husband helps her in many ways. So she is having lots of free time, also I understand it's her passion to dress up, arrange, organize, cook variety food for others. Ladies who come to her house have no problem in posing for a pic. But the other day she had arranged a big event and the other ladies couldnt stay for long as her ,as they had their own commitments. She got so angry saying that no one is interested in anything and was on silent mode after that. But she did post pics of all the ladies smiling beautifully with her in social media. Anyone who sees that will feel jealous, but only few know her struggles.

    To have more friends:
    1. We need to have a supporting husband and kids also should get along with our friends kids.
    2. We must not be selfish, should not have ego anger issues.
    3. Willing to cook n share food for friends.
    4. Willing to help monetary or otherwise, without thinking of any returns or rewards.
    5.need to have same wavelength, IQ, eq,
     
  8. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    I think your cousin already gave you the answer to how she does this. Unfortunately, if this is not part of your nature or personality there is not much that can be done except brood which is what you seem to be doing :)

    As long as it doesnt affect your personal life, i.e relationship with husband and kids, then brood all you want. :)
     
    Metamorphic and anika987 like this.
  9. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    :)

    Not brooding..but if there is too for self
    Improvement why not?

    If it is just personality then will accept myself
     
  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Seems like a lot of effort..feeling tired just reading the points..might as well get my hot filter Coffee and watch some Netflix:)
     

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