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Unable To Get Along With People..

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Dec 27, 2021.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Have you wondered why some have so many people around and many don’t? It does not matter if you are an introvert or extrovert.I personally love people but don’t have many around me.My relative is an introvert but has too many friends.


    What could be the reasons?

    Let me begin..

    1) Being abroad which is not as vibrant or crowded like India could make the missing people factor a lot more.

    2) We have limited options when it comes to people especially after certain age and even the surroundings are way quieter.So we “have to “ make do with our limited possibilities.

    3) I know we cannot keep finding faults with others but when people backstab or is too shrewd..how can one have a friend relationship with them?

    4) Trust issues in my case.My past is stopping me from getting closer to people.

    5) Being sensitive is one thing but it is tiresome to just go to a party, listen to people gloat about themselves and then unnecessary intruding and comparisons..

    6) Aging.Yes am not a teen anymore where we have more random people to meet and all seem equal.

    7) wavelength no match.

    8) High egos. It was easier to make friends when younger.

    9) People moving out to different states or back to India..tiring to start new relationships again

    10) In my case..the physical and mental energy to call people home and take an effort to maintain relationships through phone etc..is less.


    People who maintain relationships…

    1) my cousin makes a lot of effort by inviting people and keeping contacts.

    2) She is an extrovert by nature and loves friends and wants to go out.

    3) She hates feeling alone and lonely.

    4) She says politics happens and many a times it stresses her but she lets it go or keeps quiet.

    So..all in all..I realized I lack friends coz..

    1) maybe mental energy is very low.
    2) I feel why unnecessary extra politics.
    3) trust issues.
    4) lack of extra effort.
    5) Past trauma and had very bad choice of choosing people as friends.


    There are good people around but even if I make an effort,they r nice but probably they also Lack energy or already have a group so as to make new friends.

    Sometimes I miss my country just for this..I miss family and the vibrant nature of life..

    Anyways..just journaling my thoughts.

    Feel Free to share your opinions on how you keep friends and how you guys don’t feel affected when some politics happen.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Quality vs. quantity for me.
    I am content with my small, tight circle whom I’ve known for decades and where there’s no drama. The rest are all mostly a rotating cast of acquaintances who change depending on the season of life.
     
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  3. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    The question is why does this bother you so much?
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Good question to ponder on..

    Sometimes I like to be around people and have fun too..but am probably expecting people like same wavelength.

    It does look nice when I see people in a huge group and enjoying..a chance to dress well and have a good break..


    However it will be draining without people you cannot connect with
     
  5. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    The bold line is what is puzzling....how do you know all the people in that group are genuinely enjoying or doing it just for the sake of it or gritting their teeth and putting up with it just for the sake of the occasion?
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hmm.. well They do look very happy in pics..
    Beautifully dressed,happy smiles and with the same group a lot..Infact my cousin looks very happy and she says she can’t even imagine life without a gang..So I felt they must be very happy
     
  7. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    Do you believe all happy pics on social media and everything your cousin says? :)
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Well..otherwise why will she hang out with so many people..She has so many friends,outings etc..

    Plus I know social media is not all real but..people going out a lot means it should be fun i felt
     
  9. aks12

    aks12 Bronze IL'ite

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    I think you should do some soul searching- this seems to be more about you and your cuz comparison rather than anything else. But of course you know your situation best.
     
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  10. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    No comparison

    just a thought that i might be missing out on lifr
     

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