Ultra Positive

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by messedup, May 19, 2021.

  1. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for saying these words.. I know bhagvadgita tells us a lot. Arjun didn't want to kill anyone at any cost even after knowing that each one of them want him dead.

    That's the level that's not easy for a common person like me to achieve. Still it gives us the lessons important to our lives.
     
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  2. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    This is what has helped me . I vent to people (Close friend/sibling) about my feelings at least once a week.
    I have set specific time during each day where I only brood . If my mind tries to go to that place I remind myself that I have specific time for that. I workout every day so I have very less energy left for other things .
    My biggest problem is when I hit bed. I know this isn't popular idea but I watch something in my phone so my mind won't fall into this trap. I sometimes sleep with my kids too. If I'm not engaged before going to bed then I'm going to be miserable. My problems are not same as you. In fact they live 1000's of miles away from me but mind plays tricks on you. I can literally live my life like all these unwanted force are next to me. I joined some classes to get some human interaction . I made some friends in these classes who are total strangers. I talk to them only non-family things about me just me.
    I'm work in progress believe me some days are so hard. I also try to do online shopping which is kind of therapeutic to me. I have a budget set aside for that . I sometimes feel I tire myself out so I don't have time for these thoughts. Contrary to many advises I share my problems with my kids. My older one has been very supportive . Even yesterday we had discussions about closure. One thing that amazes me is that innocent kids have best solution for mind problems.

    Try to do something which will make you happy . Anything it doesn't matter. Don't stress yourself. This too shall pass
     
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  3. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for sharing your way of handling things. You have lots of things that you can do for yourself. I too don't have any restrictions but there are limitations. Still the time never stop for anyone. Hope will pass through this time while having my share of experiences which will help me in near future.
     
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  4. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    Hi dear,

    I could not resist posting after I saw this message. Everyone is going through so much negativity and everyone is looking someone to went including me. but you were looking for ultra-positive pill. That itself is a positivity, right?

    Would like to share few points which helped me.
    1) When you really feel tensed look back to your own past. There you would be able to see the trend. The days you worried about little things but in the end of the day it went well and good. Later you realized you took unnecessary tension!!!

    You do not want to repeat history. So, take a break from thinking and do some activity which you enjoy.

    2) Get yourself a laughing Elmo toy. Sound strange but it helps!! when you feel you can't laugh just give it a press, it will laugh for you. It may lift up your mood.:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin::biggrin:

    3) If you continuously observe yourself, you can see some of the days you feel happy for no reason, some days even if you have nothing to worry you just find silly things. We women have so many hormones’ fluctuations going on in our body. So even if at times we want to be happy, we cannot. our body is not able to entertain that mood. So, we need some extra help.

    Watch this video and try to create an emotional calendar. So, you know in advance next few days it will be dull days, I must push myself to listen to music!! I must push myself to exercise.

     
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  5. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    To add on,

    I posted this long back here. but again whenever I am down I read this again and it gives me idea what I need to do next. Only you can help you. Start a diary and emotional calendar.

    *4 Hormones* which determine a *human's happiness.* Worth reading

    *Dear friends ...*
    As I sat in the park *after* my *morning walk,*
    My wife came and slumped next to me.
    *She had completed* her 30-minute jog. *We chatted* for a while. She said *she is not happy* in life. I looked up at her sheer disbelief since she seemed to have the best of everything in life.
    *"Why do you think so?"*
    "I don't know. Everyone tells I have everything needed, *but I am not happy.*
    "Then I questioned myself, *am I happy? "No,"* was my inner voice reply.
    Now, that was an *eye-opener for me.*
    I began my quest to *understand the real cause* of my *unhappiness,*
    I couldn't find one.

    I dug deeper, *read articles,* spoke to life coaches but nothing made sense.
    *At last my doctor* friend gave me the answer which put all my questions and doubts to rest.
    *I implemented* those and will say I am *a lot happier person.*

    She said, *there are four hormones* which determine a *human's happiness -*
    1. *Endorphins,*
    2. *Dopamine,*
    3. *Serotonin,*
    and
    4. *Oxytocin.*

    It is important we *understand these hormones,*
    as we *need all four* of them *to stay happy.*

    Let's look at the *first hormone* the *Endorphins.*
    *When we exercise, the body releases Endorphins.*
    This hormone helps the body cope with the pain of exercising. We then *enjoy exercising* because these Endorphins will make us happy.
    *Laughter is* another good way of *generating Endorphins.*
    We need to spend *30 minutes exercising* every day, read or *watch funny stuff* to get our day's dose of Endorphins.

    *The second hormone is Dopamine.*
    In our journey of life, we accomplish many *little and big tasks, it releases* various levels of *Dopamine.*
    *When we get appreciated for our work at the office or at home,* we feel accomplished and good, that is *because it releases Dopamine.*
    This also explains *why* most *housewives* are *unhappy* since they *rarely* get *acknowledged* or appreciated *for their work.* Once, we join work, we *buy* a car, a house, the latest gadgets, a *new house* so forth. In each instance, it *releases Dopamine* and we become happy.
    Now, do we realize why we become happy when we shop?

    *The third hormone Serotonin* is released when we *act in a way that benefits others.*
    When we transcend ourselves and give back to others or *to nature or to the society, it releases Serotonin.* Even,
    providing useful information on the internet like *writing information* blogs, answering peoples questions on Quora or *Facebook groups will generate Serotonin.*
    That is *because* we will use our *precious time to help other* people via our answers or articles.

    *The final hormone is Oxytocin,*
    is released *when* we become *close to other human* beings.
    When we *hug our friends* or family *Oxytocin is released.*
    The *"Jadoo Ki Jhappi"* from Munnabhai *does really work.*
    Similarly, when we *shake hands* or put our *arms around* someone's shoulders, various amounts of *Oxytocin is released.*

    So, it is simple,
    1. we have to *exercise every day* to get *Endorphins,*
    2. we have to *accomplish* little *goals* and get *Dopamine,*
    3. we *need to* be *nice* to others to *get Serotonin*
    4. *hug our kids,* friends, and families to *get Oxytocin* and we will *be happy.*

    *When we are happy, we can deal* with our challenges and *problems better.*

    Now, we can understand *why we need to hug a child who has a bad mood.*

    So to.
    *make your child* more and more *happy* day by day ...


    1.*Motivate him to play* on the ground
    *-Endorphins*

    2. *Appreciate your child* for his small big achievements
    *-Dopamine*

    3. *inculcate sharing* habit through you to your child
    *-Serotonin*

    4. *Hug* your child
    *-Oxytocin*


    *Have a Happy and healthy Life*.

    It is a forward message I got but I found it helpful so shared it. Now we know small tricks to be happy.
     
  6. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    Thanks for the reply dear..
    Good to see you again..
    Enjoyed reading your post and the video too.

     
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  7. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Now that you have guidance, suggestion to try draping silk saree to get into ultra +ve mood and a Professor put it succinctly in a graph her POV, I trust you had decided already how to get that ultra positive spirit to attain short & long term goals.

    You treat home as a company or corporation and list out goals for the day and analyse where you are lacking.
    Mind tool helps. A SWOT Analysis will help you to fill the bill.
    Check link
    swot - Google Search

    This will help to lend a deaf hear to rumours which you can not control or stop.
    You may be able to bring around the kids to study offer them rewards every time they put in effort notwithstanding the result.
    You are already equipped to meet the challenges. Follow the regimens. Structure your time.

    All the Best.
     
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  9. messedup

    messedup Platinum IL'ite

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    What happened today don't know but feeling good by getting so many likes. Thanks to you and @Giri12 for these likes. At first I saw 5 alerts, likes from both of you that amazed me and I thought both of you must be reading the old posts. But then again next time 22 likes altogether from both had put me in a surprising situation.

    @Thyagarajan Your suggestions are valuable and I was waiting for your reply from the time I posted this thread. I always wonder how you can answer each and everything so nicely and properly. Will definitely do this analysis on me. Going with the flow of negative energy is our default setting but I know I have to stand up and come out of this. IL helps a lot for this. Thanks to you and to everyone around for being here and helping each other.
     
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  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    That is surprisingly true. When ripe men unable to discover a solution, young minds come out solving with least effort.
    Two anecdotes relevant here.
    An army Brigadier was concentrating with focus on solving some zonal issues. His grandchild nearby playing with his toys making hell of a noise. Brig arrived at an idea to divert attention of the boy. He tore a world map into pieces and handed over to the boy asking him to assemble the world map. The boy found it interesting.

    A while later he disappeared into another room and few minutes later returned to Brig with map assembled. Non plussed, Brig asked him how he could do it so fast. Boy said that there were parts of a man behind the torn pieces of the map and he assembled them to form the man. The world map is ready!

    A marching army stuck with hundreds of fully loaded truck as the passage under a railroad was not sufficient to clear the top of the truck by an inch. Top ranking military personnel had brain storming session for long. They considered even unleashing trucks and remove some items from each of the trucks etc. many ideas found unfeasible in terms of dusk falling in and machinery can not be unloaded easily from trucks.

    Then the Brig spot a boy at a distance lugging a bagful of vegetables from nearby farm coming towards him. The boy his path blocked by lined up huge trucks and in wonder naively asked the Brigadier what happened and how to cross to the other side. When Brig told him the frightening problem, the boy thought for awhile went closed to the truck and tapping the tyre gently said, “ Sir, you can try releasing deflating types a little to gain that one inch clearance at the top”.

    And lo that worked.
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2021

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