Two Innocent Men Butchered By Their Unfaithful Wives!

varalotti · Aug 18, 2006

She got married to Anantharaman, a nice man and a soft-spoken professional. They chose the exotic Munar for their honeymoon. Two days into the honeymoon she ran to the Police Station to complain that her husband had been murdered. She was crying her heart out.

Police investigations began and with in a matter of two days she was arrested for killing her own husband. She had conspired with her lover, an auto-rickshaw driver to carry out her murderous plan. All the culprits are behind bars and the legal process is on.

Almost at the same time there was a murder in Chennai. This time the victim was a lawyer. This time also it was his wife who killed him. And again there was adultery behind the gruesome murder.

And what made this case even more pathetic was that the lawyers wife had developed illicit liaison with his brother’s son, several years younger to her, and they both joined together in eliminating the lawyer out of their lives.

Like many others I was so disturbed by these news that I almost lost sleep on them. As a writer I have been championing the cause of women all along. Naturally I was shattered.

The media had a field day. Lurid details, juicy gossips filled the columns of newspapers. Letters to Editors reminded the readers of a dialogue in Thooku Thooki a hit film of yesteryears, “Kolaiyum Seival Pathini.” ‘A wife will even kill to attain her objects of desire.’

It was only when the dust settled down, was I able to think calmly over the gruesome happenings.

First, these two killings occupied a prominent place in the headlines precisely because the killers were women. Men killing their wives and lovers are much greater in number. In fact men-killers are so many that such happenings are not half as newsworthy as these two.

But that is neither an explanation nor a justification for these gruesome acts.

It was then I read the writings of Gnani (who writes O Pakkangal in Ananda Vikatan). Gnani refuses to buy the stories handed out to him and always looks every thing in a different angle. And more facts emerged from the investigations as well.

If we take the case of Munar murder, the girl had already fallen in love with an auto-rickshaw driver. I don’t want to go deep into the fact whether the autodriver was a good man and was not Anantharaman a far better choice than him. That is besides the point. The point is that she was passionately in love with him and he with her.

She confessed her love to her parents, who as usual, shouted at her and hastily arranged a marriage for her with a boy, whom they thought was worthy of her. The girl shouted, protested, cried, threatened but nobody listened to her. Her parents probably emotionally blackmailed her into accepting the boy they had fixed for her.

The lawyers wife’s story is even more pathetic. The lawyer was related to his wife even before marriage. He was her uncle and the age gap between them was so large that it amounted to a generation gap.

Added to that the lawyer took advantage of the poor economic condition of her family and started sexually abusing her when she was very young. Finally he forced the family to give her in marriage to him. The family could not object.

If a girl is sexually abused she develops so much of hatred towards her aggressor that she cannot even bear seeing him at a distance. And if she is forced to marry him! Nobody could observe the vulcano in that girl, waiting to erupt at an opportune time. Erupt, it did, and the lawyer was justifiably destroyed in its eruption.

It is here that Gnani presents a very convincing argument. Well, if these women did not like their husbands, they should have adamantly refused for the marriage, or could have at least opted for a divorce. Is murder a solution? Is adultery justified in these circumstances?

Let’s leave Gnani for a while and look into criminal law and morality.

No. Murder can never be a solution and in no situation can adultery be justified, explained away or even condoned. In criminal law there is a concept called, “extenuating circumstances” . When the victim did such horrible things so as to infuriate the accused to do the crime, then such ‘extenuating circumstances’ can be taken into account, at least to mitigate the punishment. For us, bye-standers, it will help to understand the working of a woman’s mind.

varalotti · Aug 18, 2006

Now back to Gnani. When people are forced to do something they hate to do, then only a very small percentage, will openly voice their opposition. A majority of people will not be able to do so. While their hearts will be screaming a violent NO their lips will be murmuring a weak YES.

I know many women who have swallowed their pride, their honour, their feelings and are making a show of living, only for the sake of their children. Women living in a male-dominated society will not be able to assert their authority. But greater the supression, more violent will be the outburst as it happened in the above two cases.

At this point I would leave the matter for discussion, of course, after attaching the following raiders:

a )Please don’t think for a moment, that I am supporting an act of crime. Murder except when done as a measure of self-defence, is legally and morally wrong. But before condeming these women to death sentence, let us at least try to understand them.

Let us not shed tears for them, but let us think of their lives for a moment before joining the media-chorus in condemning them. And if the entire society understands the mechanics behind these cases, they will not recur.

Had the first girl’s father allowed her to marry her lover, however worthless he may be, she would be free by now, and who knows, might find that her lover is an useless fellow and might have come back to her parents. She need not have to spend a good part of her prime life behind the bars. And the life of an innocent man would have been spared.

Had the second girl’s mother listened to her and did not go ahead with her marriage, she might have at least been a happy spinster today and the family’s name and reputation would not have been destroyed.

b)Please don’t think that I will be always supporting women, whether they kill or seduce. In fact next week I am going to accuse another woman, who according to me, is guilty of a more heinous crime than the above two.

Till then, pour out your feelings and list down your arguments. I can already sense the heat building up. But our ultimate aim should be to generate more light than heat.

Have a nice week-end.

Varalotti

vidhukumar · Aug 18, 2006

Dear Varalotti,
you have brought up a very sensitive topic for discussion....which ever way i think,i can not accpet the crime of the first girl....she may have been in love with anyone&her parents may have forced her in any way....but she had no right to take an innocent mans life just coz he married her!!!!if she had the strength&courage to plan&murder her husband,why didnt she use that strength&courge to fight&convince her parents or openly confess the truth to her husband?there is nothing more precious than life&she had no reason to take it for her selfish motives!!!that too when that man was innocent!!!

regarding the 2nd case.....here that man was an animal....to sexually exploit a young girl is like sqeezing her self respect&soul out of her which is un pardonable!!!worse than killing her coz now instead of a single death,she had to die everyday!!!ofcourse,i do not agree to her relationship with her husband's brothers son!!but i also feel her husband deserved the punishment......now does the punishment have to be death? that i can not surely say,coz it depends on what all the girl must have had to go through....and if she has chosen death as a punishmnet for him then maybe the man must have acted in such a way that has driven the girl to it......

purnima_2k · Aug 19, 2006

Hurray to Varalotti!

Hi Varalotti,

Before i go into the details of the debate, i would like to whole heartedly appreciate your efforts not only to pull the audiences towards you, but also simultaneously whack our brains against the predominant social evils and creating a sort of awareness among us ILites! 3 Big Cheers to you !!!

Now coming to the topic of discussion, like you rightly pointed out, the murders and assaults committed by males probably would double(or maybe even trible) that of those committed by the females. But that does not mean in any way that all women are pious! I agree with Gnani in accepting the fact that murder cannot be a solution for anything..unless of course as our dear Varalotti has rightly pointed out,its in the form of self defence!

Munar murder case was purely evil. A innocent man becoming a bait admidst two evil monsters. In the lawyers case, listening to the past of the story of this woman, maybe she did it as a vengence. Of course as Gnani rightly says "they should have adamantly refused the marriage, or could have at least opted for a divorce."But Varalotti , as easy as it may sound, do you think in all families these two solutions are possible? If the lady was from a poor family, maybe she got married for her parents sake, thinking--MAYBE she can try to move on. BUt practically what she expected wouldnt have happened. Her anger and her pent up emotions would have doubled every time she saw him and she would have been ultimately been left with 2 choices

1) To commit suicide (which she may not have wanted as she was in love)
2) To murder her so called husband (and make it seem like an accident)and move on with her life!

In her case, 2) seemed like a more practical (but foolish) solution!.Sad, but true, many women esp in the lower calibre, are left only with the above two options due to a lot of external pressure. They are not bold enough to stand against the society either through a divorce or seeing their parents die in front of their eyes by strongly rebelling them!

This snippet would throw some sense not only into some foolish womens' heads, but also on parents to empathise with thier children and make them better citizens!

I would like to conclude by saying "you women should have thought through your mind than through your heart!, see where ur implusive move has led you to!!!"

Purni

Vandhana · Aug 19, 2006

ONE Innocent Man Butchered!!!

Here are my two cents!!

The first story, the murder ws brutal and the man was innocent. The wife could have just eloped with the Auto driver before her marriage instead of marrying and killing this innocent man. Todays women are quite enterprising and can avoid getting into situations not to their liking , so in the first case, the women is pure evil.
Now the second story, the husband deserved to die. Sexual exploitation is the worst crime in the world. And that too it is exploitation of a girl as a child before he ended up marrying her. The age difference is a secondary issue. But am sure the wife must have had such hatred towards her husband. Having said that, i do not agree that killing the lawyer was the solution . The wife could have just walked out on him. If she had guts to kill him she could have walked out too and started a life on her own!!

Vandhana

Chitvish · Aug 20, 2006

Media glare attracts more attention !

My dear Sridhar,

I begin with my usual statement " Brevity & I are not made for eachother"!

These 2 instances have been hyped up so much in the Tamil newspapers and magazines, that this has drawn the attention of everybody. We are waiting to
“gobble up” any news that comes about these 2 ladies ( like you, I refrain from mentioning names . It is sad that the first lady is your favourite heroine’s namesake!).

Well, let me share with you something. My maid comes from a village between Madurai and Trichy. She always tells me the happenings at her place. If I mention them, we will feel that what you have written about is no patch on what really happens! She says, (In many of the families), it is mandatory for the man to have a liason with a minimum of 2 or 3 ladies & his wife will definitely have a paramour. These are all accepted things in villages & nobody thinks there is anything wrong. She says, it is just like a way of life for them. In case of problems or misunderstanding which invariably crop up, the man or woman is “ done away with”! She says casually that “ aruvaal” is the most commonly used weapon by them. Nobody makes a big issue of it, since it is a routine thing.

When the same things happen in cities, the media makes a big hype of it & gives an extensive coverage. I can tell you, only this media glare is a recent development & the issues are not new at all. In both the cases, I think the parents wanted to force their decisions on the girls, which resulted in the girls getting highly frustrated and, in fact (perhaps!) took the vengeance on the parents for forcing them, by murdering their spouses.

You once wrote “At the lowest level to maintain character is so costly that they can't afford it. At the higher levels it's so cheap that it’s not worth maintaining. Only at our middle class level we have strong values and character. But even that is being disturbed by the IT culture, the economic boom etc. “ I now feel, you struck the right note !

Ten years back, my friend’s daughter’s marriage was fixed up, much against her wishes, like the first instance you have mentioned. The parents refused to allow her to marry the boy of her choice. Her boss was her lover & they both planned & eloped to Dubai on the day prior to the fixed marriage date. The parents were broken to pieces. The girl got herself converted to another religion & sent her wedding photographs to her parents. (In tamil, we say, mukathil kariyaippoosuvathu polae ! ). But the story doesn’t end there. After 2 yrs, she came back, disillusioned with him, to the parents. As parents, they had no heart to throw her out & accepted her! After 3, 4 yrs, they got her married to another boy of their choice, after telling him her background. It is stranger than fiction – he accepted her & now they are living in Nigeria, happily, with 2 children.

In the latter case of your post, her husband had been sexually assaulting her very much from her younger age as a “rightful uncle“& the girl’s hatred towards him had been increasing. Here also, the parents have forced her without realising the intensity of her pent up emotions, which burst out violently.

With the exposure to the girls increasing in all spheres, like career, workplace etc, the parents must start realizing that they should not force the girl into a marriage of their choice. May be the first girl would have had a happy life with her auto-rickshaw driver cum lover. Love does not happen with reference to status. Present day parents have to learn to draw a line when dealing with their children’s issues because of changing conditions & realize that force is not going to make them change their mind.

The girls & boys must also realize that of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.

Love & regards,
Chithra.

Kamla · Aug 20, 2006

Sorry state of affairs

Dear Varalotti,

I am once again slow in catching up with the happenings of IL.

I was not aware of these two cases that you mentioned being a hot topic of the Chennai press. Call me cynical, but the stories did not disturb me particularly in any way. Maybe I am hardened having been exposed to media blast and in turn, murder cases of various degrees of brutality and tragedy. That women have been involved in various vile practices and can be as callous and as lowly as their male counterparts is something I have come to accept. Evil is evil, it has no gender.

Whether committed by a male or female, taking the life of another human being is a crime that can never be justified. Except, like you mention , in self defence. My view about both these cases is the same as those of Vidhukumar. Like Purnima says, if these two women had the boldness and conviction to plot and kill their husbands, why did they not use the same to oppose their parents and family and avoid the marriage in the first place?! I have no sympathy towards them.

Chitra’s response made an interesting read. After having lived in the western world for many years and having noticed their lifestyles, I often say to my family and friends that the lowest social strata of the Indian population and the upper crust, the so called high-society, of India, have the same values and lifestyles of the west! There are no taboos and pretensions. They live as they please, etiquette and decorum be lost! Drinking, smoking and promiscuity in relationships is a done thing.

All the same, it is very sad when young people are ravaged by predators, be it their own family members or friends. This is the most abominable and cruel act. The lives of those innocent children are marred for life. Such acts can reap havoc later in life as is proven in the case of one woman.

If only the world was perfect….?
 
L, Kamla

Vidya24 · Aug 21, 2006

sad,sadder, still sadder

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Hello Varalotti,

Quite liked your style in giving us these stories to mull over and then wishing us a ‘nice week-end’.

First, as you have rightly pointed out, both cases made headlines because the offenders were women. The second is that almost any crime can be rationalized and justified on emotional/moral grounds.

But try as I can, I cannot find any reason to fully justify what either woman did. In the first case, the murder seems cold blooded and deliberate. The woman could have confided in her husband and refused to live with him. I am sure he would have caved in. After all, which decent man wants to live with a woman who does not want anything to do with him? It would have been much easier for wife aka husband killer 1 to convince Anantaraman and chug out with her auto driver. Far easier, than it would have been to convince her parents. And Anantaraman would have lived too.

Wife 2 is a sadder case, a victim in her own family and in her husband’s hands. I read your account of her sad life repeatedly and could not find any escape avenues for her. But, even if I stretch my sympathy for her, even if I convince myself that maybe she did not really have an affair with the younger man, maybe he was just a kind soul helping her- I am not willing to fully excuse her deed too.

Death is never a solution- be it murder, suicide or capital punishment. But, I wonder why this woman chose to conspire and kill her husband rather than take her own life? According to the law, she has no right to take her own life, just as she had no right to kill her husband. But if we are arguing in moral terms, then we need to think of this too. I am not advocating suicide. Sitting on a comfortable seat typing away, it is easy for me to preach .

So, if at all she had to take a life, why did she kill the husband? Did she expect to get away, not get caught? If so, she conspired. Did she listen to her lover who maybe had his own axe to grind? If so, she was being foolish. Why did she not run away with her lover? So, she was looking out for herself here. Then she is not as dumb or innocent as is portrayed. So,in a moral sense she is not fully innocent.

If she had sought to silence her husband with a punishment like slow poisoning, castration or blinding- he would have got back at her, even killing her. So,killing him seems to have been her only option. Killing a sex offender, a lawyer is not fully wrong in a moral sense. I do wish she had not been caught and had escaped. But she still needs to pay her dues for her crime. And the courts should consider the mitigating circumstances and give her a lighter sentence.

regards
Vidya
.

Kamla · Aug 21, 2006

Feels better

Haa...Vidya..your post is here! I was beginning to doubt my eyes and head! So I was not imagining things..Thank God it hasn't come to that as yet)

L, Kamla

Vidya24 · Aug 21, 2006

Kamla- you are not hallucinating

Dear Kamla and Varalotti,

Kamla- no you are not hallucinating. I edited my post so that Varalotti will have no handle to counter argue. (I am asking for it now).

Varalotti- Thanks for letting us use your forum for chit chats. BTW, I understand that husband killer No1 is called Vidya. But somehow I am unfazed. Saw the movie'Man In the iron Mask' and am lifting this profound observation from that. Varalotti,the ladies in IL named Vidya, 'we bear the name, the name does not bear us'. So, no qualms.

regards
Vidya