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turning point

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by lakshu, May 23, 2010.

  1. lakshu

    lakshu New IL'ite

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    Dear friend,I think you know my last thread, actually through a good friend (The man who proposed me doesn't know that he is my friend) I came to know about the man who proposed me.He doesn't married for two times, he married only once and his wife was having some illegal affairs before marrying him and continued after marrying this man when it comes out she committed suicide.This man don't want to reveal these things to me. so he blamed himself and made me to avoid him.My friend says he is a normal and good person.I didn't contact him for many days then also he didn't disturbed me in any way.keeping beauty and love in each plates, beauty goes down and naturally love comes up. Though the man had average personality, now a days i saw many husbands throw rubbish things over the good wives eg.myself. this man he don't want to show his wife having bad characted after her death also. Now i confused what to do.
     
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  2. mstrue

    mstrue New IL'ite

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    Lakshu,

    From all your past threads/posts and this one, I only see one thing that you are seeking.. support and security. It is not wrong but it is also not enough, dear..

    Also you keep mentioning about his (average or below average) personality in almost all posts.. so I get an impression that you are looking at it as a compromise if you have to go for this proposal.

    Looking it as a compromise will not be of much help in the long run, Lakshu. If only you were able to convince yourself that looks are only skip deep (unimportant) only then this seemingly shortcoming will not come back to haunt you when it is too late.

    Another thing about this man not throwing dirt on his late wife..
    Yes, it definetly is a good trait. Agreed. Also, there could be another reason on top of that.. he would have taken it as shame for his manhood. Or as he once mentioned, it might bring back painful memories, so might have hidden it. He has his own motives too. So do not get carried away (influenced) by that one behavior alone.

    Meet him, talk with him. Develop a friendship. See your compatibility there. See what is his take on life. His views. If you both find yourself compatible, then proceed. I am not sure how far this is feasible where you are located.. I remember your brother is not even up for remarriage.. so may be too hard..

    But getting into a relationship with 2 grown daughters, just for the sake of security and support has a potential to make a wrong judgement on the man you choose to lean on.

    How reliable is the friend who gave you this background information on this man? That is another thing to consider.

    In a nutshell, shake off your insecurity and desperation (if any) to find a shoulder. Take it slow and clear. When you get to know him more personally than now, And if your gut instinct then tells "This is it! This is him!", Go for it.

    Be strong and bold and happy, Lakshu. You will make it. You will find that one man who deserves you.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2010
  3. lakshu

    lakshu New IL'ite

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    Thank you, thank you, thanks, dear, I feel shy and fear of the society. If I meet and talk to that man, what others think about me. Then my elder daughter is not with me, she is in hostel and the week end also she would like to go to my mother's house i.e her grand mother's house becoz she was grown up in my mother's house and very later days she joined with me and now again she is in hostel every semester she gets around one month holidays and that time also she want to go to my brother's house and my mothers house, she feel happy and comfortable there. after her studies she is going take care of her future only she needs financial hold from me. next coming to my younger daughter 8 years old, she was not satisfied after fulfilling her 99.99% of her needs and wishes, only thing she use to tell. I don't have daddy. Some times I think can I call that man to my home and sit with him and discuss everything in my mind.But I got fear, what my neighbours will think? when was ill and depressed these neighbours no way bothered about me. , He gave his office address, resident address, all the phone nos. I gave him only my phone no. I am a matured person, he is also matured man whether I can call that man to my home? Iam very much afraid To meet in a public place.please please give me your opinion.
     

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