Hi Everybody, Sorry but I want to share my feelings please have patience to read my post and help me if possible. I just turned 30 couple of days ago but still virgin. I am feeling very sad and disgusted. Just dont know what went wrong with my life, why such hard fate? I am from gujarati jain family and I got married 2.5 when I was 27 years but my marriage only lasted for 4 months due to impotency of husband and mental torture by in-laws. Dont know why he cheated on me he should have treated himself first and then marry but why spoiled my life? I recently got legally divorced from that guy but my life messed up for no fault of mine. I am very much scared r/n with so much negative thoughts in my mind like what if I ever stay virgin and single throughout my whole life. What if something go wrong in second marriage also and what is the meaning of staying single even, I dont have any great loving family, I hate my sibling's behaviour towards me and on top of that, my sister's confusing relationship and my brother's tantrumatic behaviour and worries about his and my own future, I feel like commiting sucide sometimes. I am very insecure and very stressed out. My father is dead. My mother and my aunts uncles do not have much contacts to find right alliance or match for me. Now the only way for me is to register with such matrimonial website and local marriage beaureo, I haven't started the procedure but am planning to start process of finding a match. But the availability of candidates as per my crieteria i.e. gujarati jain (divorced) is very limited. Will I be able to find a right match out of it? What if I don't find any guy right or if I find any desired candidate then what if he rejects me? Will I be left alone throughout the whole life? I am not bad looking but not good looking either, I am M.com and working. I already have minus point like my divorce, I have turned 30 and weak background due to loss of father, and also I am suffering from hypothyroid. I am also not in contact with any guy to fall in love, to date or to become a girlfriend of someone. I feel like a complete loser. I am very much scared I will have to spend my life alone. I anyhow want to get married I dont want to stay single not just for getting love and happiness atleast for my safe future. Unfortunately due to impotency of my ex-husband I stayed virgin and before marriage I never had boyfriend. I am not good looking but also not ugly either, I am average girl, even ugly girls have bfs but nobody ever asked me for date and I am too shy to ask anyone. I am feeling disgusted. And I dont know from last month I am feeling very much aroused but dont know how to control my feeling. Sometimes I feel ashamed of myself that even at 30 I am virgin. Also I was not happy on Birthday as I felt I lost my 20s and become old and entered 30s. Sorry for this long but please tell me what do I do to stop feeling insecured and sad.