TTC -What If "IF" plays an important role.

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by annavarapus, Mar 26, 2010.

  1. VLR

    VLR Silver IL'ite

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    Bhavani
    Am shocked to read the note about your friend (or ex-friend)..:rantHow can our own friends and relatives be so insensitive to our problems. And I dont understand why any of our fertility related problems is of their concern. Dont even bother inviting such people to your home. They only spread negative vibes around us. You are better off without such kind of people. And remember.. what goes around comes around in some form or the others.

    I get so angry when I listen to such incidents...:rant:rant
     
  2. Akruti

    Akruti New IL'ite

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    Dear All, you know what.. I was a silent reader of this forum in IL, never thought of posting any messages here. I kept my TTC journey to my self only. Its been 3years and its really frustrating. Nothing seems to be going in the right direction, nothing seems to be working too. Till now I am struggling for my visa to be secured here and on top, this fertility tension, killing me each day. Time just flying by but nothing happens. Life seems to be in the same place, as it was in 3year back. But I absolutely had no idea, there are all of you in the same boat with me. I am just not alone. I can share my feelings, my emotions with all of you. I really dont believe in GOD these days. My prayers are never answered. If it is destinated to happen, it will happen... If it is not then... no one can help. I feel so.

    But yeah you all are so right... this fertility journey keeping us isolated from everyone. Be it any get together, party, family function. I too dont feel like going anywhere at all. I have deleted all my accounts from those social networking sites aswell. Bored of the same old questions from friends and family. I visit India every year. This year I could not go b/c of my visa restrictions. I am all excited to plan for my trip once it gets over. I feel good when I think of visiting India after a year and half. But at the same time, something is holding me back. So many Q&A revolves me around. I am scared of those same repetitive questions from everyone. I do not know how to face those...Why it is US??? Its so simple and just happens like that for others !!! And why we are the one suffering !!! Why???
     
  3. Vasumathy

    Vasumathy Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Only now i completed reading your post Bhavani. Its too hard to accept what your friend did to you. What the hell she thinks? Once she got a baby or two, she has all rights to speak/do anything? Hope she understands her mistake a day!

    Everyone faces these tough situations dear. Its prepring our mind to accept/handle all the troubles in our life. Hope you have a good dh & good MIL to support you. Stay positive. Our great days are not so far....

    Sticky baby dust to you & to all the TTC ladies who faces all these troubles!
     
  4. kushi33

    kushi33 New IL'ite

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    Dear Akruti,

    Agree with you so much....have lost all faith in god...i have been crying and praying to god each day....to all gods ppl told me to pray to....initially i told ppl i dnt believe in this but alone i prayed each day...every moment but nothing happened...god never helped...in anything....i think god is also as political as the rest of the ppl and doesnt get moved by our plight and tears.

    I think its destiny for us and as rightly said...WHY ME...making babies is such a normal process...happens naturally to all...atleast all around me...never in my wildest dream had thought this cud happen to me...and see god put me into this situation...with me this has always happened...all tht i feel cannot happen to me---the next moment i am suffering from it...hv seen it so many times....

    What to do...n how long....life is badly affected by this....never thot of all this....life has changed 360 deg towards helplessness and dispair....and then God is not there to help....

    Kushi
     
  5. annavarapus

    annavarapus Senior IL'ite

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    @Bhavani, I am shocked to know about your friend.I am surprised to know that still such superstitious people exist.It's hard when we need to face a situation like yours.Don't worry the time is not far away when you would be inviting everyone for your baby shower and then many more functions related to your little one.Be positive.

    @Kushi, I agree with you.I also question god "Why me?"Looks like this is unanswered yet.It looks so easy for many of my friends and they tell me that they did not plan but it happened.Why doesn't it happen to us after so many plans and so many months of trying?My best friend got married last year and she is going to celebrate her 1st anniversary next month with a 3 month old baby:rant.It looks like it's easy for many people around and we are the only set of people trying hard to achieve ours.Don't lose hope Kushi.Be happy which is in your name.
     
  6. annavarapus

    annavarapus Senior IL'ite

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    @Radha, Well said. I want to enjoy my life and want to get out of this TTC mind.I want to go to India and spend some time with my parents.As this would be my first trip after marriage everyone would bug me asking about "Good news".Even I need to face some tantrums from my MIL.When I think of all that I have to face, I feel I am good being here.She keeps on telling us that she visited so many temples to bless her a grand child and asks me every month if there is any good news.I am happy to have so many caring people in my life but I don't want anyone to question me during this journey which by itself is so frustrating and these questions keep on reminding me that it didn't work this time.Just wanted to rant and I am done!
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2010
  7. kinjal

    kinjal Bronze IL'ite

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    Priyanka,

    Good to see a change in your signature.
    It shows you are looking at brighter tomorrow.

    take care gal.

    Regarding MILs...well we call our parents twice a week and my MIL ask me this question each and every time. Call wouldnt be complete without this question. I dont know what's her problem? Doesnt she understand that there is only one cycle in one month or does she think i am not going to tell her if im pregnant. Most of the time i switch topic or handover the phone to DH but sometimes it do irritate me. I think its part of our life now...dont take it to heart. Just move on.
     
  8. annavarapus

    annavarapus Senior IL'ite

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    Kinjal,Yes wanted a change in my signature and so added some words to spice it up!
    I know it's irritating sometimes to answer the questions from people around,Even I am trying new ways it keep such questions at a distance.Let's hope that this new way of thinking gives me some Joy.
     
  9. kushi33

    kushi33 New IL'ite

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    Priyanka n krinjal, agree to you...this is such a bad phase and what makes me even more sad is that what if after all this i do not have children...what will i do then...till now i am living on a hope each month ...trying to cheer myself after every AF that ok may me next month....but it's been so late now that i really feel very sad thinking tht may b this pain might just be for the life time....may be i'll never have kids of my own....oh... the thot of it makes me hate everybody...n god the most...i dont know how ppl experience god n miracles...am yet to see one in my life time....

    My AF is due next week around 4-5-6 April sometime...now each passing day is so full of anxiety and so many prayers...like i said before...i know 99.99 % i will get AF as my legs, lower abdomen are all cramping (like always) and i have not even one slightest symptom of conception.....i'll be in complete depression till the day of my AF and a few days after tht...will then regain my energies and start the process again only to be faced with dissapointment......wat a life....cant njoy anything....and due to all this am havng an irritable behavior with all...specially my MIL who stays with us since marriage and is too too interfering....i hv to consult a doc also in secreacy.....

    anyhow i'll inform u wen i get my AF...will need your help to cope up with those depressing days...
     
  10. kinjal

    kinjal Bronze IL'ite

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    kushi,

    i read couple of your posts and you sound depressed in almost all posts.
    STOP dear..it wont take us anywhere... stop monitering each and every cycle.The more you concentrate on each and every cycle the more depressed you will be.


    Take a break. Go for vacation. Pursue your hobby. Let couple of cycles go without any monitering and without any expectations. Try concentrating on other things in life. May be your carrier or some other things you alway wanted to do and were never able to spend time on it.

    TTC and childrens are not the only things in life. They are part of life. So do not give all importance only to TTC and forget everything else in life.

    I know its easier said than done. Even i am in TTC since more than 2 years now and trying to come out of this depression.

    good luck.



     

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